DP wants to loan money from me

Bullshit
My husband has his own company - and also has a job. It just means that his PAYE income is taken into account when doing his company returns.

And if he has fulfilled the job for the invoice - then why isnt it being paid now? Why is it being paid "later" in the year?

To many red flags when i read all your updates.

Your AIBU is unclear - let me clarify

YABU to consider lending money to this man. He has lied to me about his financial position in the past. Exaggerated his income and net worth to impress me at the beginning. Would I be crazy to loan him money?

Yes

If he has a business; then he has the ability to get in touch with any creditors to make payment arrangements until his invoices are paid.

Manipulation.
You're supposed to be worried about him.
You're supposed to want to swoop in and fix it for him.
You're supposed to save him and believe he'll be ever so grateful and love you so much and you'll live happily ever after.

Of course, in reality he'll bleed you dry then start looking for his next target.

Rubbish. There is no such rule.

You'd likely have to notify a new employer if you had another job (which is what owning a company is) so they could determine if there was a conflict of interest in employing you, but there is no such rule to preclude you from taking another job and forcing you to close down your company.

For example, the motor industry is a shit show right now for access to parts and slow paying insurance companies so, let's say your DP is a mechanic with his own business. He does an insurance job and has had to buy parts, but the insurance company isn't going to pay him for 90 days. If he went for a job interview at another car garage, they have no power to force him to close the other business and forego money from work he's already done, but they might choose to not employ him for risk of him leaving again when his own business picks back up, but that's a very different thing compared to him not being allowed to own his own business.

The biggest red flag is that no-one else will lend to him.

Only give him what you're willing to never see again.

But he doesn't need to be nice as you are still considering doing it when you know he's an abusive liar! Why would he make the effort?

This also begs the question. Why is his invoice not due to be paid immediately if he's done the work?

Whether he would have to give up his business depends on what kind of business it is. Usually, you would only be asked to do that if it was in direct conflict. He could get a part time job in a supermarket in the short term - running his own business on the side. No problem.

So at least twice now (that you know of) he has ended up relying on his partners to keep his business afloat. He really must suck at this lucrative business thing.

DP, I’m not in a position to lend you money but I’d love to support you and help you get through this in other ways. Let’s sit together and look at your company accounts and all the invoices that are due and see what we can work out together. I’m happy to help you look for loans and other financial help. Now show me those invoices so I can help.

I doubt he will let you. He only wants your money.

Yep! I am director of two companies and have a job. We are winding down one company, which is no longer trading. We still have to pay what we owe and collect what is owed to us, though

Run, run for the hills - at least in the financial sense, possible in every sense. 3 years isn't that long to have been together. I can't imagine asking my partner for a substantial loan after that long!

This is rubbish. I have been a director in a company while holding down a full time job. It’s completely legal.

Therefore he wouldn’t need to fold the company, he could just stop trading and the invoices would remain valid.

He’s trying to scam you.

Definitely gift

Tell him to start an OF

no way would I lend him money

Whilst your language lesson is very useful to the OP, I’m sure….. I suspect the he doesn’t want to borrow any money, he wants a gift.

What a helpful soul you are. I’m sure that helps the OPs dilemma no end 🙄

He doesn't want to loan money from you. He wants to BORROW money from you. You loan, he borrows.

Take the relationship out of it for a moment and look at it as purely a financial transaction. You're considering lending money to somebody who literally nobody else will lend to. Why on earth would you do that? It makes no financial sense. Bottom line, his business whatever it is, is not viable and he refuses to accept that. You'd be a mug to lend to him, purely from a financial standpoint.

Now put the relationship back in the mix. Does he mean enough to you that you'd be prepared to write this money off if the repayments never materialise? Do you care for him enough to take the very real risk that he may very well ask for more and your losses will increase? I'd say that's a very high probability because he is either not a good businessman or his business is simply not viable.

Sounds like he needs to get himself a job. He is an able-bodied, healthy adult who needs to stand on his own two feet.

He also has a track record of lying to you and emotionally manipulating you. This is not a person you want any financial ties to at all.

OP, @Pinkdelight3 is absolutely right.

Also, no business in its right mind takes on jobs that last months and invoice at the end. It should be 50% or 25% upfront and the balance at various agreed stages of completion.

I must reiterate that if he gets a job, he is under no obligation to close his business and write off the money owing.

Do not lend him money. It won’t be a loan. You will never see it again.

He could factor the invoices (not ideal).

Or he could get a secondary job - barman, delivery driver, etc....

He has new contracts that once he fulfils, will be extremely lucrative, these would pay by the end of the year.

If he could prove this, he could get a loan from a legit lender. The truth is, these extremely lucrative contracts sound like a gambler thinking they could hit the jackpot if they just pour some more money into the fruit machine.

basically I am his only option to get through this.

Then it's not a viable business and hasn't been for some time by the sounds of it. He needs to wrap it up and deal with the fall-out and work for someone else. You aren't his 'only option' because you're not an option. You aren't a bank and any legit loans places have refused him so what does that tell you? Hold firm and absolutely do not bail this business out. It's not the solution however much he thinks it is. He needs to accept that his business is not working.

This is not true. Limited companies can remain dormant or have their status changed to no longer trading. This means they still get paid for any outstanding debt.

It honestly sounds to me like your parter has no business sense.

What does he do that he doesn’t operate on 30 day terms?

My husband is in a full time salaried role, he is also director of our company. Your partner is spinning you a yarn and hoping you don't know enough or are too afraid of not being seen as supportive to question it. I run my own business, if he has the contracts that pertain to the invoices (ie solid proof of funds) he can get commercial lending as an advance on that future invoice.

Invoices that are due I.e for work completed would not become void. He is lying.