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Original poster

DP wants to loan money from me

258 replies

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 19:47

DP’s business is going through a rough patch, he has outstanding invoices that are due to be paid in 3- 6 months that will get him back on track.

He is running out of money to live and run his business and has asked me to assist him financially until he gets paid and will then reimburse me. Amount as of yet, unknown.

We have been together 3 years, don’t live together and had our ups and downs. He’s struggling with depression due to his situation but also not able or willing to support me in ways I need, like emotionally and physically, because of this.

He has lied to me about his financial position in the past. Exaggerated his income and net worth to impress me at the beginning. Would I be crazy to loan him money?

OP posts:
Original poster
Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:28

CadyEastman · 21/04/2024 20:18

Yes you'd be mad. No you won't get the money back.

Is there a reason he can't get finance elsewhere or have those avenues bed. Explored already and been refused?

So apparently other finance means have been exhausted and no one wants to loan him the money. I don’t know if I believe this though or he just hasn’t had the capacity with his depression and stress to look into it properly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:26

Elieza · 21/04/2024 20:15

I'd be all I'm really sorry but I'm not in a position to loan or even give you money.

How does he usually manage in these circumstances?

He has borrowed from an ex before and paid them back, he tells me.

He has a habit of spending big once the cash comes in but is adamant he has learnt his lesson this time. Plus the invoice is very large so would last for a long time.

OP posts:
savethatkitty · 21/04/2024 20:23

I'd be exiting this relationship. It will never improve. And he will never be financially stable. Sorry.

Pigeonqueen · 21/04/2024 20:23

No no no. You’d be mad to do this.

CadyEastman · 21/04/2024 20:18

Yes you'd be mad. No you won't get the money back.

Is there a reason he can't get finance elsewhere or have those avenues bed. Explored already and been refused?

WalkingaroundJardine · 21/04/2024 20:18

No. He needs to do cash flow planning if the invoices are
3-6 month terms. That’s not a temporary problem and you could be asked to do this regularly after the first time around.

Elieza · 21/04/2024 20:15

I'd be all I'm really sorry but I'm not in a position to loan or even give you money.

How does he usually manage in these circumstances?

Feelingstrange2 · 21/04/2024 20:07

He has a business and needs to keep that separate from personal. Factoring is what he's looking for and if they won't support him then ask yourself why.

If he has a good relationship with the people he has invoiced he should be talking to them about immediate payments, even in stages.

He should be sorting out his business with a strategy not by breaking into his personal.life.

Don't help.

SheepAndSword · 21/04/2024 20:07

Oh god - it's one of those situations where you want to help but can't.

It sounds like he's made his finances very complicated. No you can't bail him out.

Jeezitneverends · 21/04/2024 20:07

He’s full of 🐂💩

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2024 20:06

He has lied to me about his financial position in the past.

Dude, seriously?

therealcookiemonster · 21/04/2024 20:05

I call bullshit. OP time to LTB

TellerTuesday · 21/04/2024 20:04

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

What type of business is he running? Is he a tradesman?

I'm a independent bookkeeper and work with lots of small businesses and sole traders and I've never come across anyone running their accounts in that way

Viewfrommyhouse · 21/04/2024 20:04

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

lol, I'd love to know what 'business' he's in.

Brumhilda · 21/04/2024 20:03

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:53

He should be able to get a loan against outstanding invoices. It’s called invoice finance or factoring. It’s basically selling the invoice to the lender.

Correct, but he can’t do that because it’s bullshit and he’s broke and the invoices either don’t exist or they’ll never be paid and he knows it.

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/04/2024 20:02

No way. Not only that I think you should dump him. He is not there for you and doesn't have your back. He also lies to you. There is no way on this earth you'd get that money back and I think he would make out it was your fault anyway.

7yo7yo · 21/04/2024 20:02

Say no. And dump him. Life isn’t meant to be this hard.

Original poster
Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

OP posts:
OpusGiemuJavlo · 21/04/2024 20:00

Do not do it.

Even with closest friends and family you should only lend what you can afford to lose.

With anyone else you should only lend if you have the resources to enforce repayment through the courts if necessary.

This lying, unsupportive and unpleasant "D"P isn't an appropriate person to lend to. You would never get it back, and certainly you'd be a mug to gift it to him.

His financial issues are not your problem. Say no.

coxesorangepippin · 21/04/2024 19:58

No, no, no

You will never get it back

OhGoodItsRainingAgain · 21/04/2024 19:56

Only lend what you can afford to lose, because you will probably never see it again. I wouldn't lend him anything. If it were a viable solution to borrow money in the short term, then he can get a loan. If the bank won't give it to him, there's a reason for that.

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:55

ARichtGoodDram · 21/04/2024 19:52

What kind of business is he running where invoices get paid in 3-6 months time?

Given that he’s lied to you about finances before it would be a no for me. If his business is good then he could borrow money from a bank.

Supplying into retail possibly. 3 - 6 months are fairly standard terms for big buyers such as supermarkets, John Lewis etc.

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:53

He should be able to get a loan against outstanding invoices. It’s called invoice finance or factoring. It’s basically selling the invoice to the lender.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/04/2024 19:52

Yep why on earth has he got people owing him money for so long? My invoices are to be paid within 30 days, big jobs pay part up front, part on completion. The only people I work for that is not on those terms is magazines and they pay within 30 days of publication of whatever edition my work was in (which is a pain in the backside but thats how magazines work and if I don't like it I can simply not work for magazines!)

ARichtGoodDram · 21/04/2024 19:52

What kind of business is he running where invoices get paid in 3-6 months time?

Given that he’s lied to you about finances before it would be a no for me. If his business is good then he could borrow money from a bank.

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