To break up over this joke?

I’d suggest this too.

@Curiossir , so you thing beating women up is a joke.

ok, for all the pedants- it's a joke- but you didn't find it funny.

Difficult one... there will be very hard-line both ends of the spectrum people on this one.

Either you're the Jimmy Carr, say what you like, it's just a joke, the 'joke' doesn't necessarily lead to intent sorts of people... or you're the 'a mention of DV, especially in a 'joke' context is a huge red flag and DOES mean you're that sort of person' sort of person.

If it offends you, tell him... but that's the thing with comedy. You may abhor DV jokes but find racist, religious or jokes against men funny. There are very few jokes these days that wouldn't offend 'someone'. It used to be blonde jokes, fat jokes and Irish jokes in my day... or situational comedy. A man is holding a ladder, turns around and hits someone else - these days that might be considered insensitive (laughing at someone else's misfortune, or worse, laughing at someone being mentally challenged!)

There's not really much nuance in "laughing when beating a woman". It's not exactly an obscure idiom.

@Curiossir

"It's just a joke" is it really though?🤔

Or
Is it be exposing manifesting the kind of character psyche the kind of man he is,

I was in a relationship for some time with a moody hot headed Misogynistic abusive pschological and emotionally abusive man,

He delighted and loved to crack crude belitting humilating mean jokes about women under the disguise 🥸 of humour ,

Also inflicting sharp tongue saying mean stuff
and threats of violence and once physical too,

It's quite effective weapon to disguise shitty 💩 man's emotional insecurities and issues in life,

as you can get away deflect from all sorts of things using this kind of sense of humour, you would never get away with otherwise,

as some people don't see it for what it is,
He used to do this as a tool 🔧 to deflect boost his ego,

because his mother was not maternal to him and told him he was an accident a mistake that he was born cause she was only 19 years of age,
even though she was married.

He grew up in an old school ways his father liked using his belt as a whip to displine him as a child a lot,
that's how quite often you brought up children back in that era,
he grew up in,

I can understand why being told that by your mother would screw up your mind big time,

However he should have got the right therapy to address his shit childhood issues,

Not inflict his childhood/ teen age traumas onto me or and other women he unfornately came across...

Exactly, then it's just a statement. Which is just as bad if not worse.

If a joke isn’t funny, it isn’t a joke, surely?

Of course it isn't funny. The joke isn't funny either. But it is a joke.

Violence against women is funny? Care to explain?

It’s pretty disgusting isn’t it, laughing about beating up women.

just a joke.

I would guess that the cultural norm would be that there was nothing wrong with retelling the joke.
I would challenge him next time (nicely) and tell him that you were thinking about this joke he told and what he meant by it. I wouldn’t explain him your views first, just give him chance to see his mistake or dig himself deeper into the hole. And then you will know better what kind of person he is and was it just blip from the past or not.

It's never too late to sit him down and explain why the joke, isn't. If he acts with contrition then he's probably worth another chance. If he suggests you're overreacting or oversensitive then it's probably best to part the ways.

I don’t think they’re very good a telling jokes. I’d have rolled my eyes and said “really?” Tell them the actual joke, which is “what’s the difference between an egg and a wank? You can’t beat a wank!” 😉

Misogyny is not a nuance.

I find that due to the ‘be kind’ wokeness nowadays jokes are in worse taste than they ever were. DH has a family WhatsApp group and some times the ‘joke’ is the the deliberate politically incorrectness of it.
id ignore it.

It's just a bad joke - people make them all the time. It doesn't mean he agrees with the sentiment. Going against the grain here, but I wouldn't break up with someone over this, if there were no other issues - just tell him you're not comfortable with that kind of joke and move on.

My ex used to laugh at the scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts got hit.
Yes, he couldn’t resist. That was the end of the marriage instantly, then the family split. I moved out, he got the divorce papers, then he hung himself. He had threatened me so many times, it was a relief.

My ex used to laugh at the scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts got hit.
Yes, he couldn’t resist. That was the end of the marriage instantly, I’d promised him it would be the end if he ever hit me. I moved out, he got the divorce papers, then he hung himself.

Exactly.

The people for whom this joke would be laughing about their bad times are women. And the joke doesn't even make sense if told by a woman, so the idea of this being a cathartic joke is utter bullshit.

Do you still find it funny if another word is inserted instead of "woman"?

E.g. Jew, Black person, Gay/Lesbian, Pakistani

Still funny then?!

Jokes about harrowing topics can definitely be funny, but when they're punching up, not when they're punching down. Jokes that punch down at an easy target are lowest common denominator shite.

It’s definitely not funny, but I can think of exactly the kind of men who would tell this joke in the local pub Germany. Casually misogynist, most definitely playing big/hard men who pretend that they are in charge, but I think the vast majority would not beat a woman.
I am by no means defending OPs bf, but I think he needs a serious conversation rather than being dumped immediately.

I think this is a very definite danger sign. I would not continue with this relationship, however charming he appears on the surface.

An ex of mine told a story about how he had been in a car that hit a rabbit and how funny it was and I was appalled. He was a kind person in general and it was out of character but I couldn’t ever forget about it, even after he apologised. I just kept thinking would I want a person who had no empathy for a rabbit being a father to my children. And the answer was no. I would be worried and it would dent my trust if I was in your position. That ‘joke’ is just not funny on any level.