Hi just hoping for some perspective.
My DH has severe anxiety, specifically health anxiety, and a tendency to worry to the point of fixation about his own health and that of our kids. I can’t count on both hands how many things he’s diagnosed himself or our children with. The latest is an obsession that our DS is autistic or neurodiverse in some way. I couldn’t disagree more and think that while he has some funny little quirks, he’s essentially a happy and healthy 6 year old.
The facts:
DS is doing ok at school. He’s on track for most of the things academically. Bit behind with writing but not worryingly so
Happy and excited to do new things and go to new places. He isn’t upset by routine changes or transitions etc
Likes playing with friends, going to parties, going on holiday etc. Embraces new experiences
No sensory issues of note
Eats pretty much everything, not fussy
Kind and empathetic (most of the time)
Enjoys jokes and being the class clown
Doesn’t meltdown or tantrum to any major extent
Enjoys school
DH concerns;
He can be very excitable - doesn’t take much to fill his cup.
He has a habit of running and jumping about, sometimes waving his arms about and sometimes throwing himself on the couch. It’s sometimes accompanied by explosion noises etc. He does it a lot at home and I think he does it more when tired or overstimulated. DH thinks he’s stimming whereas I think he’s just expressing his enjoyment/happiness and it feels nice to do it. Possibly helping him to process whatever he’s thinking about at the time
Quite often chats away to himself, sometimes singing, sometimes reenacting something from his favourite show etc. Sometimes just repeating a new or interesting word. Sometimes just whispering nonsense
Likes to make up silly words and names
He has a few close friends and isn’t that interested in branching out or making new friends instead preferring to stick with those he already has. School have noted this independently of us. They haven’t said it’s a concern but they did say they might put them in different classes next year
Can sometimes be a bit withdrawn/unsociable with some kids, especially those who are a bit full on. He has a hearing loss so noisy kids can be a bit too much for him at times. Which makes me laugh as he is so noisy and excitable himself but doesn’t embrace it in other kids. But when he’s with his best friend, he’s the loudest and silliest of the lot. So I think it’s a confidence thing, particularly considering the hearing issue
Occasionally he appears not to want make eye contact when someone is up close. I don’t think he has a problem with eye contact at all and think it’s normal for a 6 year old who is being told off and told to look at the person telling him off not to want to do so. I’d say as a general rule he makes great eye contact, even with people he doesn’t know all that well and with adults and kids. Sometimes I think he feels a bit uncomfortable when someone is in his face and asking him questions and he sometimes zones out a bit but I think that’s totally normal. DH disagrees
Please can someone help. I feel like it’s destroying our marriage and it’s damaging his relationship with our DS. He seems unable to relax and enjoy spending time with him without analyzing every little thing he does and attributing it to a self diagnosis of autism. I can’t seem to get through to him. He wants us to push for some kind of referral whereas I feel that would set a hare running that is completely unnecessary and potentially damaging to the well being of our happy and healthy child.
im planning to share the answers from this thread with him in an effort to help him
see things more clearly and in the hope it might encourage him to seek help for his overwhelming anxiety.
Everything I’ve written has been seen and agreed by him (apart from obviously my slant on it).