Horrible experience in supermarket

I remember feeling daunted the first time I took my new baby out. Its normal. Its just a shame you ran into a couple of dickheads

I was like this with my first baby, used to hate going out as I was worried what everyone else was thinking and that I was doing everything wrong. By child 2 it was water off a duck's back and I honestly couldn't give a sh#t about anyone else. But don't worry, we have all been there. I think most people are actually sympathetic but obvs can't do much to help the situation.

That's what I thought. I've been known to say, "Oh dear...Someone's tired..." but I'm trying to be sympathetic when I say it.

Now thinking I should maybe keep quiet in case I'm causing upset.

I can’t bear supermarkets I use online the saver slots at sains start at £1.

OP. I have it said to me and I also say to others "oh dear someone's not happy or having a sad moment" etc and it's 100% mum solidarity. But context is key so if what was a woman with a sympathetic smile it is very unlikely to be judgement.

However, absolutely appalled to read that men were joking about hurting you because of the speed of the queue. That's so nasty and yet another reason why men and their threats of physical assault however they like to identify need to be kept away from female only spaces such as refuges and prisons. At certain times of our lives such as newly mothering, we are vulnerable and some members of society can be evil.

Saturday is normally a busy day. Those aisles are never quite big enough. People are impatient. It's normal- but a pain.

I would worry about the 'tired' comment. That's just been made to empathise with you- as other posters have said.

I had similar issues when I had my first daughter nearly 20 years ago, it upset me if I was out in public and someone made comments such as “Oh dear!”, “Someone’s not happy” if she cried, likewise if she did something to attract attention such as kicking her shoes and socks off. It took a lot for me to realise people didn’t mean to judge me negatively and things like that were just a natural thing for people to say, I found old people were the worst for making me feel that way. I would definitely have been angry if someone had done to me what those people did to you no matter how old my child was.

Yet we are lead to believe that the majority of people are nice.
What CFs, I would have definitely flipped at that or atleast let them know I'd heard it.
I used to hate shopping with my baby, he was a crier too and I used to hate the attention he would draw to us when I was trying to just go in and out 😅🤦🏼‍♀️ it does take getting used to.

I'm 55 and reading your post took me straight back to being a new mum.
Why people feel obliged to offer their stupid opinions remains a mystery to me.
Someone threatened to slap my child's legs once when he was tantrumming in a supermarket.
It passes. You are doing a great job. Try your absolute level best to ignore them xx

I hope you are ok now OP

When my one was a baby my then H decided to get our groceries delivered. Is this something you could do to make life easier?

I think you have a confidence issue and believe people are judging you. Those looking at you might well be sympathetic. Everytime I see babies and toddlers misbehaving in public, I remembered how bad it was. It’s never a judgment on poor parenting.

The old men would piss me off so much! Particularly as I am ALWAYS stuck behind old people in the supermarket. It doesn't bother me, everyone has the right to shop, but as obstructions go, I have noticed far more old people holding things up than parents with babies and toddlers.

I agree with this. People may have been giving you sympathetic looks.
But the trolley ramming comment is horrible.

Hopefully the men are single. I wouldn't want to think of some poor person living with the type of person who threatens to assault women. Could you order a delivery so you never have to bump into them again?

Thats rubbish for you, but there are some lovely people in this world also. I can remember when my ds was tiny and screaming in the trolley, this lovely lady came over and offered to cuddle him whilst I packed my bags. She waked back to the car with me and soothed him until I'd put the shopping away and popped him in the car seat asleep. She gave me the biggest hug. I'll never forget her kindness.

You've had a horrible experience but you have got through it. Hopefully you are now home and able to relax. When you've had some reflection time work out the positives and maybe look at better ways of shopping ie online delivery, find out quieter times and go then.

Where do you live? Never have I ever experienced anything like this in a Supermarket! Hope you are okay.

Agree the ‘someone’s not happy’ comments are extremely irritating although generally harmless. I used to respond ‘yes, babies do tend to cry don’t they’’.

What the men said was outrageous and it’s difficult to respond in the moment but when people say things like that, you should respond with something loudly like ‘you want to ram me in the legs because someone else is blocking me from moving forward? You disgusting little men, you are threatening to assault a woman with a baby, seriously’!

I doubt you’ll come across people like that too often though so don’t sweat it.

Agree that online deliveries are the way forward but not always possible if you’ve run out of something and need it quick.

Sadly you have to learn to give as good as you get as a mum with a baby as there are plenty of pathetic people who like to put the boot in if you give off a ‘vulnerable’ vibe.

I think you are overthinking and assuming the worst in people. Even the guys joking about the trolley could have been being silly. If I saw someone looking at a crying baby I wouldn't assume they were judging the Mother. Saying 'someone's not happy' is a normal comment to say about a crying baby.

One thing @Sally922 I worked out that baby was distressed by the ceiling lights apparently it's something called a cycle of 50 something per second that affects babies.

Sorry you had a hard day.
I found it was easier to go to local shops, markets or supermarkets like the co op when I was a new mum. People are usually friendlier and more interested in the baby. Somebody is not happy is usually a sympathetic expression. It got me out in the first few months (no paternity leave). We moved when my DC was 4 weeks old. I made a life long friend with another mum who I met in the shop which led to coffee outings, and baby sitting swaps. She too was new to the area. She had toddlers and a baby.
A few years ago when kids were at Uni I chatted to a new mum who was having a bad day in the same shop. We became friends as she was new to the area and with no support. (as I had been 20 years ago). We meet once a month now and she is so much more relaxed with DS2.
Be gentle with yourself. Most people will have been in your shoes. You are doing a good job.
Congratulations on becoming a mummy.

You have every right to be in the store, it is not "no place for a baby" ffs. OTOH, there is no shame in waiting till your DP is home to go shopping and you shouldn't feel pressure to do all the normal things you've always done while you navigate becoming a mum. If something is hard it's hard. Don't gaslight yourself by insisting it should be easy, just give yourself a break. It will all get easier soon.

I had something odd yesterday. Our little co-op express. Had a few things in my basket which you have to hoist up onto the till area. The till operator who I know turned to the person behind me and said to them is that all you've got and took two mini bottles of wine. I was really annoyed. But when he'd gone she said he gets very aggressive in queues and I wanted him out of the shop. I understood then but was still annoyed that an aggressive man can get away with crap like this.

The lady saying bad day I'm sure was in sympathy. We've all been there. I used to go to the supermarket in the evening when husband was home. Was so funny to see other sleep deprived mums wombling around like zombies but it was less stressful.

A woman after my own thinking. You're in my tribe👌Had I heard someone say this to you I would have verbally took them on. I hate bullies with a passion.

I was a wimp and hardly ever went food shopping when mine was a baby/toddler, I ordered online. But if someone made that comment towards me like those men did I'd have no issue turning round and telling them to do one. Stand up for yourself because no one else will!