Horrible experience in supermarket

Oh OP I am sorry that you are so upset and feeling rubbish. I have been there, many of us have, feeling stressed and self-conscious and humiliated by other people's lack of patience and manners.

A judgemental man on a bus once told me I would have to get off if I couldn't make my child be quiet. I can still feel how my face burned! But I bet he never wrangled a hungry, tired baby alone, ever in his life.

DS turned out to be ND so we've had quite a few very loud moments in public over the years, causing mayhem and obstruction. Gosh did I learn pretty fast not to give a flying fig what strangers think! I ignore them and focus on my child's needs.

You will too OP. They don't walk in your shoes, and if you were them, you know that you would behave with much more grace and kindness.

If I met that snide man now and he thought he could say anything to me - woe betide him 👿

‘But if you did that, you’d get my fist in your face and then your false teeth will go flying and eat that cake without the rest of you’ 😏

I sometimes go oh some ones not happy if a baby or toddler is crying but follow it by saying i hate shopping as well , and don't mean it nastilly and have a bit chat with the mam about wait till they get older popping shopping in the trolley by then toddler is totally distracted

Im sorry you had such an awful experience! Well done for getting out, I hope you can keep doing this even though you’ve had this bad treatment.

my baby hated the supermarket for the first month or two but she’s fine now. I think they’re quite overwhelming places for them

People are knobs, end of. It says more about them than it does you x

Don’t let it put you off though, it’s good to get out and about.

I always use the Sainsbury’s smart shop app. You can scan your shopping and pack as you go along, then you send it to the self service till and pay, it’s so quick and easy, you feel no pressure trying to do everything all at once.

Saying “someone doesn’t look happy” is actually empathy in most circumstances. Not criticism. It’s more often than not a comment someone makes trying to make you feel a little better as they’ve likely been in the same situation.

Af for the old men….don’t tolerate stuff like that. Stressed or not. Turn around and give them what for! Ask them if they were raised with lack of compassion and basic manners or whether or not they’re just choosing be a holes

My heart goes out to you! So sorry to hear about your tough time..what a shame those people didn’t stop to think, to ask if they could help or just share as I do, “ we’ve all been there and hang in there!” I felt so emotional and tired in those early months and shopping is bloody hard with a baby! Take care and remember it says more about them as people than anything.

I work in a supermarket. All staff where I work will make sure your stress free. Supermarkets love new mums..they spend ! The public however are morons. Never ever feel like this again. Take your new mum self out and ignore. ❤️

It’s good to get out with baby and try to ignore miserable horrible people and their comments - I wish I had been there - I’d have helped you and given those two nasty men a piece of my mind !
xxx

This!

You were unlucky to run into the two arseholes, but forget them and everyone else. I bet they weren't giving you funny looks.

Next time, have shopping delivered. Or make sure that dc is fed and in good mood when you go, and go at a quiet time.

You're doing great!

Absolutely!

Bless you, I remember feeling the exact same way, like everyone was tutting and raising eyebrows. I wasn't a young mum but look young for my age. Got so many comments like "tut, these teenage mums" etc. The good news is, after having kids you develop this no bullshit attitude. Give it 6 months and you'll be telling them horrible old men to go fuck themselves.
Don't fret OP, I promise it gets easier as you get more confident x

Sweetheart I’m sorry it sucked for you. You left the house. That’s an amazing feat! You’re doing an amazing job. Soon you will have zero fucks to give for the opinions of random old men and tutting old ladies. You’ll tell them where to jam their opinions like the rest of us want them to. I wish I had seen you out and about. I would have definitely told you I’m so proud of you!

You are giving me flashbacks. My boys are now 12 and 9. When youngest was 1 or 2 he was a total handful. I needed to buy wheetabix because that was pretty much all he would eat. I hauled both kids out to supermarket mid morning, got a basket of groceries, queued with agitated 1 yo (you know the arm wrangling) and my 3-4yo was trying to entertain him.

I was in the wrong queue (for the pay as you go till, not the self scan)

I was almost crying with the baby being agitated by the time I got to the front and realised. The Tesco worker marched me to the back of the other queue, wouldn’t let me step across into the right queue even though other shoppers offered to let me in.

I burst into tears… both kids dismayed. Not my finest hour at all. Tesco Lady kept saying ‘it’s the rules’ in a patronising barking way.

I’m 8 years on from this time, with wonderful boys, a very busy happy family unit and buoyant mental health all round 🫣( But that experience at the supermarket on that day nearly broke me at the time).

Ignore the fuckers. It’s a reflection on them, not you. Everyone likes to judge but few people like to look inwards.

It’ll pass OP. It gets so much easier.

Honestly, if online shopping had been available when my dc were little, I wouldn't have set foot in a supermarket until the youngest was at school.
OP, be kind to yourself. Do everything you can to make life easier.

Online shopping way forward, However depending on what you had in your shopping basket the 2 old gits behind ramming you could be wearing a milkshake.....
Seriously a video of them and tell them you were reporting tom police for causing fear or alarm would give them a shock.

Makes them feel good to put vulnerable people down. They’re insecure and can’t resist. I learned to grow a thick skin fast.

Heck, there are some real charmers out there, aren't there? Talk about 'have you always been this ignorant or did you have to work at it?' You were queueing to check out - what did they think you were doing - waiting for the bus? Anyone like that deserves the 'go slow' treatment, to wind them up even more - but I can well imagine you just wanted to get away from the stupid gits.

I'm sorry you've had a bad day and encountered some arseholes. Get your shopping delivered, it was the best thing thing I ever did. I only pay £2 per shop with Morrisons, by using their £8 monthly savers pass.

Fuck them op, just look for the other mothers. You'll find them everywhere. All of us have been where you are and you'll find a sympathetic smile.

Just know there are plenty of women who if they have heard what those men said to you would have stepped in to say something o. Your behalf. You don't need to concern yourself with being brave right now. Newborn stage is surviving, it will be easier next time.

I remember getting the stink eye whenever either of my babies cried in public, almost like a 'why can't you soothe them, terrible mother'.

DH took one of them when tiny and she screamed the whole way round. People stopped, offered to hold her, pushed the trolley for him, packed his bags and helped him get to the car.

The world isn't kind to mums. I'm so sorry you had to experience it though.

I found that when child was a baby in a pram so many people had to stick their nose in!

Baby started crying in Tesco's and I knew he wanted feeding, so I bent down to get a bottle out the bag and stood up and some dirty man had his face in there saying "Ohhhh isn't your mummy feeding you!"... I said that's exactly why I'm getting a bottle out the bag!

Another idiot stopped me to say I wasn't dressing my baby in enough layers.

Unfortunately you just have to smile and be on your way, but very very difficult with all your hormones flying.

I completely get it, it can be quite overwhelming as a new mum. You're doing so well to make it to the supermarket on your own! I remember shopping trips where all I wanted to do was take my baby home away from all those people.Try and not take it personally, people are in a rush to get their shopping done and would be impatient or rude to anyone. You'd hope that they'd clock that you're on your own with a tiny baby, but they're so caught up in their own stuff they probably just don't notice. And then you get the people with the funny comments that are just not funny (someone is not happy), why on earth?! Honestly, if you can't think of saying something nice just be flipping quiet. Hang on in there op, it will get easier and you'll settle into being out and about with little one. Until you hit the toddler years, then it's a case of accepting that every once in a while grocery shopping will not be fun 😊

People can be vile, and make a sport out of giving quippy 'advice' to new parents not realising they're making it worse. Well done you're doing a fab job!

First time I tried to go to the supermarket with a baby I just couldn’t work out how to use the baby seat in the trolley and so gave up and came home in tears. Don’t let it get to you. It all gets easier and some people are just a*s