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Original poster

To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

284 replies

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 13:30

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money.

Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs.

I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far.

So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough.

When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic.

Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it.

I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more.

Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

OP posts:
Iwantamarshmallowman · 21/04/2024 16:51

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 13:49

Thanks all. I do know I am being a wuss but you wouldn't beleive the amount of confidence I needed to build up just to do this I have painted kids faces at birthday parties for family members for free for years and I have been told countless times that I should do it professionally but I never have the confidence. I'm only doing it now because I really need the money. My first party I was crying on my way there I was so nervous. But thank you, I will put on my brave pants and reply to her
I am a bit scared of her though. She was really forceful and she put a massive X over the box using her own black felt tip pen and pressed so hard she ripped the paper a bit lol

to be honest, she sounds unhinged. I would imagine the other mums are used to her and won't pay any attention. a polite professional response will make her look even more stupid than she already does.

KomodoOhno · 21/04/2024 16:46

You did nothing wrong. But do explain it so you get more work and she looks like the idiot she is. Personally I like your system. Mine is 13 now but lord do I remember those long waits.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 21/04/2024 16:45

She was being weird but also there's no need to wright down anything about a child you're not photographing. You're only going to be taking a close up picture of faces while the kid is still sat in your chair so no chance of another child being in the picture.
Also you don't need to wright anything down, verbal agreement is all that's needed.

Good luck!

TheFunHasGone · 21/04/2024 16:41

She sounds like an aggressive pita , just reply politely to her and I bet the majority of people who read it will be thinking she's a bit of an idiot

There are plenty of her type in both my dcs school fb pages . The majority of us read and roll our eyes about them

FangsForTheMemory · 21/04/2024 16:40

Sounds to me as though she wanted something to make a fuss about. Anything would have done.

stichguru · 21/04/2024 16:37

I would just put a quick - "Face-painter here. Glad the kids enjoyed the party. I just needed to remind myself which children not to use photos of on social media." To be honest, if the mum just vaguely feels she'd rather not have her daughter's face on social media (which is fine), she may not even remember she ticked the box! Like obviously if she said "no" because her daughter's father is likely trying to find the daughter's location and kidnap her for more abuse, the mum will ALWAYS be thinking "NOTHING that might show her location, ever", but if it was a casual "no", then she might have just forgotten what she said!

nineseasaway · 21/04/2024 16:37

But you need to reply quickly op, so that people actually read it.

I thought you needed proper gdpr forms for what you do though. Just ticking a box is not enough.

coxesorangepippin · 21/04/2024 16:37

The irony astounds me.

Make sure you keep all SM communication very polite and formal... It can only be a good thing for your business.

Good luck with everything op

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 16:36

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:19

She had pictures of her kid on her Facebook too. Her profile pic was her whole family.
Which is fine because I get it, its about consent and she gets to choose which images she wants out there. It's her kid. But was the big black felt tip cross and capital letters necessary? Just don't tick the box, love. She went out of her way to make this point and then made a bigger one in public.

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Hang on no. It's not on to criticise how she filled in your form imo. She has probably crossed the box then thought oh I don't want any ambiguity (when you vote people cross for yes" so then written to make it clear

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 16:34

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:21

I haven't done it yet. I really want to get it exactly right.

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I'd get on with it in case this thread makes the daily mail

ageratum1 · 21/04/2024 16:33

Reply that you were going to list her kid as the annoying ugly one , but restricted uourself to 'pink t shirt'.

AhBiscuits · 21/04/2024 16:31

Nothing to fear OP, just explain.

Original poster
BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:21

K0OLA1D · 21/04/2024 15:18

Has she responded OP?

I haven't done it yet. I really want to get it exactly right.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:19

Riverlee · 21/04/2024 15:53

It seems a bit ironic that she wants her child out of photos, and then is drawing attention to herself and her child!

She had pictures of her kid on her Facebook too. Her profile pic was her whole family.
Which is fine because I get it, its about consent and she gets to choose which images she wants out there. It's her kid. But was the big black felt tip cross and capital letters necessary? Just don't tick the box, love. She went out of her way to make this point and then made a bigger one in public.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 21/04/2024 16:16

Yes explain why.

TonTonMacoute · 21/04/2024 16:16

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 21/04/2024 13:37

Yeah, just a brief explanation and then forget about it.

You're working with the public now and the public can be weird 🤷‍♂️

This.

Some customers are a pain in the backside, you have to get used to dealing with this type of batshittery.

As PPs say, just respond to explain briefly why you noted down the clothing and forget about it.

Original poster
BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:15

TinselTitts · 21/04/2024 15:18

The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion.

I'm quite lax about these things but I would never sign anything so vague and wishy-washy as that.

Promotion for what? One could reasonably assume promoting the face painting business, but it could be anything else in the future as it's non-specific.

Then how long will my child's images be stored and how will they be stored?

Will they be sold to a 3rd party?

It's interesting that the OP has ignored all comments about legal consent forms and the possibility her insurance may be invalid.

The actual wording is "(business name) may wish to use images of children to promote the business on social media, our website and in written literature. Please tick this box if you are happy for images of you'd child to be used in this way."

I am also right there in the room, usually sitting next to the form, so they can just ask me if they need more info or they can of course just not tick the box. It's really none of my business why and I'm not going to question it, I'm just grateful for the people that do tick, which so far has been literally every single person bar things one lady.
I'm also brand new. I've done three parties. If I'm doing something wrong then I'm open to polite and constructive feedback.
I only object to people calling me wierd in public and saying nothing to me directly when they had the opportunity.

OP posts:
TiptoeTess · 21/04/2024 16:13

I’d reply, but with more than one example of a reason, so it doesn’t expose that this parent (ironically) asked for privacy. Something like “Hi there, thanks for the question! I occasionally write notes to help me adhere to any special requests, for example if a parent doesn’t want their child photographed or wants to be there while their child’s face is painted, etc. Hope that clarifies. Such a brilliant bunch of kids, was a pleasure to be a part of Tilly’s special day.”

Jk8 · 21/04/2024 16:09

ChampagneLassie · 21/04/2024 16:07

pm her and explain. Explain your starting out and if she was happy with your work perhaps she’d edit her post to a nice comment about face paining instead and tag you.

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Don't PM - post it publically on your own page & tag her & the original mum in

Jk8 · 21/04/2024 16:08

Bit ridiculous you didn't just respond back "have to keep track of the kids that can't be posted on SM." Tagged both the mum & pta

ChampagneLassie · 21/04/2024 16:07

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

pm her and explain. Explain your starting out and if she was happy with your work perhaps she’d edit her post to a nice comment about face paining instead and tag you.

Riverlee · 21/04/2024 15:53

It seems a bit ironic that she wants her child out of photos, and then is drawing attention to herself and her child!

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 15:52

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

This is the perfect response. You’re being totally professional and she’ll hopefully feel a bit of a prat.

buswankerz · 21/04/2024 15:52

@BrickTraybake

Did you reply to the comment on the Facebook page op? I hope you did.

HcbSS · 21/04/2024 15:50

Ughh one of ‘those mothers’.
Would love to know if the kids father is as uptight (if there is one). Unless there is a legitimate safeguarding concern involving this kid, she is batshit.