Page 4 | To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

BrickTraybake · 2024-04-21T12:30:37+00:00

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money. Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs. I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far. So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough. When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic. Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it. I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more. Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

Grimchmas · 21/04/2024 22:23

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 21/04/2024 22:13

Actually the OP hasn't breached GDPR because the mother revealed it herself on facebook outing herself completely. The OP merely explained why she wrote pink t-shirt next the child's name so she knew to follow the mother's wishes of her child not being photographed. She hasn't revealed any confidential information at all. The mother sounds like a drama llama looking for an excuse to complain and has showed herself up as a petty cow or she wouldn't have deleted her comment

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I'm going back on what I said previously on this thread (not that I'm sure anybody is following me specifically, and they certainly shouldn't bother!) but the mother didn't out herself as having crossed a box saying she does not consent to her daughter being photographed. The OP may or may not have outed the woman's preferences in her reply (however probably not, OP had several people warn her not to make direct reference to the women's choices and was given several good possible replies that didn't). So OP posting why she makes a note of clothing wouldn't in and of itself be her posting revealing personal data about the woman, but in combination with the woman's own post it might.

Best practice going forward would be to avoid recording any additional data about those who don't wish to be photographed.

(Edited for in/of typo)

ClairDeLaLune · 21/04/2024 22:23

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 20:35

OP. I think that was a really bad move. The woman was already defensive about having photos taken, then about her kids clothing being written down. Now you have broken GDPR by revealing to everyone on that woman’s Facebook page that she requested no photos or social media.

You’re on really dodgy ground with that one. Personally I’d be removing your post ASAP and just letting it go. It’s not that big a deal and certainly not worth the aggro that she could cause you if she decided to.

You clearly know nothing about GDPR if you think that’s a breach. I suggest you read up on it before trying to scare people on here.

ziggies · 21/04/2024 22:21

Tixedo · 21/04/2024 22:16

* •*My interpretation of GDPR/confidentaility as a teacher is would be that I could get sacked for revealing confidential info like this on Facebook - what if the woman didn’t want anyone to know she doesn’t allow her kids photos on SM etc?

Stick to teaching and not interpreting the law.

Hmm...

ziggies · 21/04/2024 22:21

ziggies · 21/04/2024 22:09

@PaulAnkaTheDoggo@NeverHadHaveHas@Ohlookwhoitis Couldn't just scroll past – GDPR is my legal bread and butter. Personal data must be given as wide an interpretation as possible, and a previous HC judge has noted obiter dicta that this could include data preferences itself.

Ofc the role of consent is widely overstated compared to eg legitimate interest, but just so you're aware.

Edited

Once again just to point out that it doesn't matter how Mumsnet users interpret it, or whether or not you agree with @MHN101 – your opinion is immaterial and holds no legal weight

Calliopespa · 21/04/2024 22:16

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 21/04/2024 22:13

Actually the OP hasn't breached GDPR because the mother revealed it herself on facebook outing herself completely. The OP merely explained why she wrote pink t-shirt next the child's name so she knew to follow the mother's wishes of her child not being photographed. She hasn't revealed any confidential information at all. The mother sounds like a drama llama looking for an excuse to complain and has showed herself up as a petty cow or she wouldn't have deleted her comment

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Agree: OP outed nothing.

Anyway have caught your updates: great news OP! 🎉

Tixedo · 21/04/2024 22:16

* •*My interpretation of GDPR/confidentaility as a teacher is would be that I could get sacked for revealing confidential info like this on Facebook - what if the woman didn’t want anyone to know she doesn’t allow her kids photos on SM etc?

Stick to teaching and not interpreting the law.

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 21/04/2024 22:13

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 20:35

OP. I think that was a really bad move. The woman was already defensive about having photos taken, then about her kids clothing being written down. Now you have broken GDPR by revealing to everyone on that woman’s Facebook page that she requested no photos or social media.

You’re on really dodgy ground with that one. Personally I’d be removing your post ASAP and just letting it go. It’s not that big a deal and certainly not worth the aggro that she could cause you if she decided to.

Actually the OP hasn't breached GDPR because the mother revealed it herself on facebook outing herself completely. The OP merely explained why she wrote pink t-shirt next the child's name so she knew to follow the mother's wishes of her child not being photographed. She hasn't revealed any confidential information at all. The mother sounds like a drama llama looking for an excuse to complain and has showed herself up as a petty cow or she wouldn't have deleted her comment

Calliopespa · 21/04/2024 22:12

NotaNorovirusFan · 21/04/2024 13:34

Just explain why you did it in a very non confrontational manner.

The non confrontational manner will be key: otherwise you will do more damage than just not responding.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/04/2024 22:11

DaniMontyRae · 21/04/2024 21:02

You clearly have no understanding of gdpr, professional or otherwise. And the OP didn't shame this woman, she merely posted an explanation of her actions.

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I agree. It’s nothing to do with GDPR - how is it sharing any identifying details about her to reply and explain that she had asked for no social media sharing.

ziggies · 21/04/2024 22:09

@PaulAnkaTheDoggo@NeverHadHaveHas@Ohlookwhoitis Couldn't just scroll past – GDPR is my legal bread and butter. Personal data must be given as wide an interpretation as possible, and a previous HC judge has noted obiter dicta that this could include data preferences itself.

Ofc the role of consent is widely overstated compared to eg legitimate interest, but just so you're aware.

youtwoandme · 21/04/2024 22:06

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:39

Reply!!

"Thanks for your feedback. As you ticked the 'no social media photos' box I needed to be able to identify your daughter in group images to make sure I adhered to your wishes and kept her off social media. Respecting parents wishes is of paramount importance to me and my business and writing down a distinctive piece of clothing is the easiest way to make sure no mistakes are made."

THIS!!!!!!

pinkstripeycat · 21/04/2024 22:03

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 19:33

Thanks so much everyone for helping with my wobble. I feel so silly worry over a tiny thing
I am really enjoying doing it. I find it hard to talk to other adults face-to-face and I am only quite young myself - I'm 21 and they are all in their 30s. But I love being fun and bubbly with the kids and feel I can talk to them easier than I can the adults haha so hopefully they like being in my company and will tell their mums to all book me :D

Absolutely well done! It’s hard dealing with the public and parents and setting up your own business. Remember though, you call the shots, who you want to take business from and who you don’t.

PaulAnkaTheDoggo · 21/04/2024 21:59

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 21:27

My interpretation of GDPR/confidentaility as a teacher is would be that I could get sacked for revealing confidential info like this on Facebook - what if the woman didn’t want anyone to know she doesn’t allow her kids photos on SM etc?

Apologies if it’s wrong OP et al and not a breach, didn’t mean to cause alarm.

I would say, even if it’s not a breach, I would see it as unprofessional of OP. The woman was a dick, absolutely, but OP risks a lot more by taking her on on her friends FB page.

Edited

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In any forum like this you seriously need to be careful about posting your vague interpretations as advice and factual. What you’ve said is incredibly incorrect.

Not just you, by the way. I mean people in general talking with authority on things they don’t understand.

Grimchmas · 21/04/2024 21:58

@MHN101 that sounds like it would fall under teacher professional code of conduct rather than GDPR law.

Pookerrod · 21/04/2024 21:56

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:19

She had pictures of her kid on her Facebook too. Her profile pic was her whole family.
Which is fine because I get it, its about consent and she gets to choose which images she wants out there. It's her kid. But was the big black felt tip cross and capital letters necessary? Just don't tick the box, love. She went out of her way to make this point and then made a bigger one in public.

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I’m really please it’s all worked out and you’ve received support and possibly even more work from her comment.

But I just wanted to say, that it’s really important to tick these boxes. Even if you post your own photos of your kids on social media. I never tick the boxes as I’m quite relaxed. Until I saw a huge picture of my DD on the side of a London bus stop advertising her prep school. I was just driving past and all of a sudden I saw a 5ft poster of my daughter’s face when she was about 10 years old. It has made me tick that non-consent box every time since.

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 21:54

ziggies · 21/04/2024 21:46

Let's get this out of the way – yes she sounds a bit crazy.

However, you might not have noticed if she didn't tick the box – you'd be surprised at the number of such cases (and sheer amount of fines for businesses!) yearly. As someone in GDPR, best practice is providing 2 boxes (I agree / I disagree) but very few businesses do that for obvious reasons (to encourage agreement).

A cross in any single box might also be taken by some as agreement, like in a ballot, hence the clarification.

Storing identifying physical descriptors next to a customer's name without consent is also against GDPR. A little note about a pink shirt to yourself would be within the boundaries of common sense IMO, but there have been similar cases (eg favourite outfit, distinctive hairstyle) – if she really dragged you to court it'd be a headache for you.

I think you handled this professionally and well in public, especially if you used the reason @TiptoeTess gave which was brilliant and didn't disclose the GDPR thing! But criticising her for filling out a form a certain way is not on – the form is there because it's her legal right!

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I did raise that earlier. I thought it was out of order to critisise her making her wishes clear

Cherrysoup · 21/04/2024 21:49

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 18:15

Omg!!

I did it. I used one of the replies on here. Thank you so much.
I did it then closed my phone with my heart pumping and went sort dinner. When I looked at my phone half an hour later 8 of the other mums had liked my comment and five of them wrote underneath her comment but to me, stuff like 'thanks so much for the facepainting xyz loved it" and then on the same post but a separate comment one of them asked me if I would do her DS's party. It was like they could all see what she was doing and they were sticking up for me I am so grateful - I hardly know them. I think I agree they do all know she's a bit of a nightmare.

And then I went to put my DD in the bath glanced at phone again and she had deleted her comment.

Whoop 🥳

That’s cos she realised she’d been ridiculous. And she has pics of her dd on her Facebook! Silly woman.

ziggies · 21/04/2024 21:46

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 16:19

She had pictures of her kid on her Facebook too. Her profile pic was her whole family.
Which is fine because I get it, its about consent and she gets to choose which images she wants out there. It's her kid. But was the big black felt tip cross and capital letters necessary? Just don't tick the box, love. She went out of her way to make this point and then made a bigger one in public.

Show quote history

Let's get this out of the way – yes she sounds a bit crazy.

However, you might not have noticed if she didn't tick the box – you'd be surprised at the number of such cases (and sheer amount of fines for businesses!) yearly. As someone in GDPR, best practice is providing 2 boxes (I agree / I disagree) but very few businesses do that for obvious reasons (to encourage agreement).

A cross in any single box might also be taken by some as agreement, like in a ballot, hence the clarification.

Storing identifying physical descriptors next to a customer's name without consent is also against GDPR. A little note about a pink shirt to yourself would be within the boundaries of common sense IMO, but there have been similar cases (eg favourite outfit, distinctive hairstyle) – if she really dragged you to court it'd be a headache for you.

I think you handled this professionally and well in public, especially if you used the reason @TiptoeTess gave which was brilliant and didn't disclose the GDPR thing! But criticising her for filling out a form a certain way is not on – the form is there because it's her legal right!

Gcsunnyside23 · 21/04/2024 21:42

I'm so happy you did it OP, it's so hard in these situations and anxiety takes over. Well done on getting another gig out if it too 😀 hope this helps with your confidence

WearyAuldWumman · 21/04/2024 21:38

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 21/04/2024 21:23

*Here's something I wish Id known at 21.

You know that feeling you get that you're still a kid, that everyone else is so grown up and has everything figured out while you're still trying to figure out adult life and friendships etc.

It never goes away. Everyone has it, the 31 year olds, the 41 year olds. Hell, my Dad says he still gets it and he's mid 60s

You still cringe when we say something stupid, we still worry when we upset someone. We still think "I did not understand what the fuck just happened there" on a regular basis.

The only thing that happens is that we get better at hiding it, and the embarrassments build up until can can't remember the individual ones, and you start giving less and less of a shit.

Don't feel like the "grown ups" know better than you. Because there aren't any grown ups, just people cocking up all day every day. The 30 and 40 year olds don't know any better than you do.*

As a woman who is about to turn 40 this is one of the most reassuring things I've ever read - and totally accurate. I'm still as awkward and scared shitless as I was when I was 21.

Nearly 64 yr old waves and agrees.

NeverHadHaveHas · 21/04/2024 21:36

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 20:35

OP. I think that was a really bad move. The woman was already defensive about having photos taken, then about her kids clothing being written down. Now you have broken GDPR by revealing to everyone on that woman’s Facebook page that she requested no photos or social media.

You’re on really dodgy ground with that one. Personally I’d be removing your post ASAP and just letting it go. It’s not that big a deal and certainly not worth the aggro that she could cause you if she decided to.

That is absolute nonsense and not a breach of GDPR.

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 21:27

PaulAnkaTheDoggo · 21/04/2024 21:17

Hahahahaha. I love it when people who don’t know what they’re talking about give ridiculous advice. OP, ignore this, it’s total shite, quite embarrassing someone posted this.

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My interpretation of GDPR/confidentaility as a teacher is would be that I could get sacked for revealing confidential info like this on Facebook - what if the woman didn’t want anyone to know she doesn’t allow her kids photos on SM etc?

Apologies if it’s wrong OP et al and not a breach, didn’t mean to cause alarm.

I would say, even if it’s not a breach, I would see it as unprofessional of OP. The woman was a dick, absolutely, but OP risks a lot more by taking her on on her friends FB page.

Fernhurst · 21/04/2024 21:26

Glad it's all worked out op. She was unpleasant to publicly insinuate you were doing something odd. She sounds like a drama queen.
You've given a good explanation and the other mums have supported you. Good luck with your business.

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 21:24

Ohlookwhoitis · 21/04/2024 21:16

There's absolutely no need for this level of hysteria. It's ridiculous.

a really bad move
you have broken GDPR
You’re on really dodgy ground
I’d be removing your post ASAP

And then you say
It’s not that big a deal

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I think you’ve misread my post. What happened initially isn’t that big a deal. The response to it puts the OP in a potentially difficult situation.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 21/04/2024 21:23

*Here's something I wish Id known at 21.

You know that feeling you get that you're still a kid, that everyone else is so grown up and has everything figured out while you're still trying to figure out adult life and friendships etc.

It never goes away. Everyone has it, the 31 year olds, the 41 year olds. Hell, my Dad says he still gets it and he's mid 60s

You still cringe when we say something stupid, we still worry when we upset someone. We still think "I did not understand what the fuck just happened there" on a regular basis.

The only thing that happens is that we get better at hiding it, and the embarrassments build up until can can't remember the individual ones, and you start giving less and less of a shit.

Don't feel like the "grown ups" know better than you. Because there aren't any grown ups, just people cocking up all day every day. The 30 and 40 year olds don't know any better than you do.*

As a woman who is about to turn 40 this is one of the most reassuring things I've ever read - and totally accurate. I'm still as awkward and scared shitless as I was when I was 21.