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AIBU?

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Original poster

To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

284 replies

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 13:30

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money.

Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs.

I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far.

So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough.

When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic.

Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it.

I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more.

Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

OP posts:
Whinge · 21/04/2024 13:56

I am a bit scared of her though

No need to be scared of her. She's unlikely to hire you for a party, but a polite and factual reply will potentially lead to more bookings. If anything her comment has done you a favour as it allows others to see how you respond in a professional manner.

Tebheag · 21/04/2024 13:55

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

This. She may not have realised why you did it.

Spinet · 21/04/2024 13:53

I'm sure she'll be well known in the party group for being 'forceful'. Just stay chirpy and factual as in the suggested replies and you'll be grand.

WaltzingWaters · 21/04/2024 13:52

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:39

Reply!!

"Thanks for your feedback. As you ticked the 'no social media photos' box I needed to be able to identify your daughter in group images to make sure I adhered to your wishes and kept her off social media. Respecting parents wishes is of paramount importance to me and my business and writing down a distinctive piece of clothing is the easiest way to make sure no mistakes are made."

this is perfect. But definitely reply so people know why

Original poster
BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 13:49

Thanks all. I do know I am being a wuss but you wouldn't beleive the amount of confidence I needed to build up just to do this I have painted kids faces at birthday parties for family members for free for years and I have been told countless times that I should do it professionally but I never have the confidence. I'm only doing it now because I really need the money. My first party I was crying on my way there I was so nervous. But thank you, I will put on my brave pants and reply to her
I am a bit scared of her though. She was really forceful and she put a massive X over the box using her own black felt tip pen and pressed so hard she ripped the paper a bit lol

OP posts:
DrJoanAllenby · 21/04/2024 13:49

The thicko mother needs to be told that you wrote the colour of the outfit down so that you could make sure she didn't accidentally get in any of the photos and therefore could she delete her comment, thank you.

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 21/04/2024 13:48

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:42

Every school trip consent form we fill n is just a tick box with 'can these photos be used on social media'

Show quote history

Yes but the full policy will be available on request.

KissMyArt · 21/04/2024 13:46

OP, have a word with your insurance company.

They can provide templates for photo consent forms etc.

Are your allergy forms detailed? If not they can provide those too.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 21/04/2024 13:46

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

This!

kiwiane · 21/04/2024 13:46

Yes explain nicely

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 13:45

NotARealWookiie · 21/04/2024 13:38

Definitely reply “hiya, just to reassure you, I wrote the colour of your daughters t shirt so that I could ensure I followed your request not to put any photos of her on social media. This is a usual part of my consent process. Glad you enjoyed it”

See I'd leave her request out of it. Keep it as OP's generally policy. So I do write down the description of a child's clothing when asked to keep them off of social media. Anyone reading can join the dots and the "you said" "you requested" doesn't come across as professional imo

WarshipRocinante · 21/04/2024 13:45

Of course you reply. Keep it cheerful and to the point. The example above is great, making sure to say that you hope all the kids had a great day and maybe say how much fun you had with all the designs they chose.

theclimb · 21/04/2024 13:44

I would definitely respond

Dargawn · 21/04/2024 13:43

Worldwide Privacy Tour vibes.

TheaBrandt · 21/04/2024 13:43

You need to toughen up if dealing with the public providing a paid for service op. A minority of people are unreasonable mentalists. Part of being a business owner is accepting this and dealing with it calmly and professionally

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:42

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 21/04/2024 13:40

Shouldn't they actually be filling in and signing proper photo consent forms?

We take lots of photos of families through my work and the wording is quite thorough.

Having said that, I work for my local council so maybe that's why?

Every school trip consent form we fill n is just a tick box with 'can these photos be used on social media'

EggChair · 21/04/2024 13:41

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:39

Reply!!

"Thanks for your feedback. As you ticked the 'no social media photos' box I needed to be able to identify your daughter in group images to make sure I adhered to your wishes and kept her off social media. Respecting parents wishes is of paramount importance to me and my business and writing down a distinctive piece of clothing is the easiest way to make sure no mistakes are made."

Exactly. Be correct to the verge of pomposity.

Maray1967 · 21/04/2024 13:40

Yes - just post a straightforward comment on why you noted the colour of the t shirt with a nice follow up comment eg ‘I always note down clothing colour when parents request that their child not be included in the photos so I can check they’re not accidentally in any photos in the background. Hope all the children loved their faces - they were lovely to work with.’

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 21/04/2024 13:40

Shouldn't they actually be filling in and signing proper photo consent forms?

We take lots of photos of families through my work and the wording is quite thorough.

Having said that, I work for my local council so maybe that's why?

GoldHinge · 21/04/2024 13:39

Reply!!

"Thanks for your feedback. As you ticked the 'no social media photos' box I needed to be able to identify your daughter in group images to make sure I adhered to your wishes and kept her off social media. Respecting parents wishes is of paramount importance to me and my business and writing down a distinctive piece of clothing is the easiest way to make sure no mistakes are made."

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 21/04/2024 13:38

I agree with the consensus, just tell them you made an extra note to make sure her DC didn't appear in the background of any photos so you didn't show her on SM like her mum wanted. Makes perfect sense. If she'd a decent person she'll apologise and let it go.

NotARealWookiie · 21/04/2024 13:38

Definitely reply “hiya, just to reassure you, I wrote the colour of your daughters t shirt so that I could ensure I followed your request not to put any photos of her on social media. This is a usual part of my consent process. Glad you enjoyed it”

QueSyrahSyrah · 21/04/2024 13:38

Of course you should reply! Part of the work I do is social media and we've found that the more honest and human we are in responses to some petty and needless comments, the more people seem to respect it and respond positively.

WittyFatball · 21/04/2024 13:38

Just reply politely 'Hi X, I made a note of what your child was wearing as you requested no photos/social media and I wanted to be sure she wasn't in the background of any other photos. I hope she enjoyed the party and was pleased with her face paint'

Bobskeleton · 21/04/2024 13:37

Explain in a professional manner.

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