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Original poster

Therapist keeps asking for photographs?

64 replies

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:34

I started therapy three years ago, after my husband died, and my therapist has always been there for me, which I really appreciate. But she regularly asks for photographs, for example, of my children. And now I have started a new relationship, very early days, and stirring up a lot of emotions for me, although he is genuinely lovely and caring - and she keeps asking for a photograph of him. He is a very private person and I am not really comfortable at sharing a photo and I just say I idon't have one - but also thinking is this normal?

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 14:57

You owe her nothing.
You are not there for her.
This is not a friendship or a two way thing.

boringingoring · 21/04/2024 14:48

As a seasoned veteran of multiple therapy experiences I agree that this is inappropriate and very unprofessional. If you don't want to report her you needn't (I would!) but do change therapist. And unless she's been doing it for free there's no need for loyalty.

Allshallbewell2021 · 21/04/2024 14:41

No, that's not appropriate IMO at all.

It's very intrusive and putting you under a very odd pressure.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2024 14:39

my therapist has always been there for me

Because you pay her to be. Let go of this misplaced feeling of owing her "loyalty." You don't owe her anything. Her repeatedly asking for pictures is a huge red flag and shows horrible judgment on her part.

MourningEveryone · 21/04/2024 14:31

My therapist asked to see a photo of my little boy at the end of session six. Just out of curiosity and to be friendly AFAIK. She is very highly qualified and experienced.

pikkumyy77 · 21/04/2024 14:27

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 14:23

Thank you for your frank replies. I think I probably do need to change or end therapy, but she got me through a very rough patch so I do feel some loyalty.

Don’t let “loyalty” affect your safety. Think about it this way: you did a good piece of work with her and now you are ready to move on. Sometimes it makes sense to raise the issue (a rupture) snd let the therapist apologize and self correct (repair) but you are not obligated to do that. That makes sense only if you want to continue the therapy.

pikkumyy77 · 21/04/2024 14:24

I’m a therapist—people sometimes want to share photos with me and if I think that is useful to them I might agree to look. Sometimes people want to process something and want to use the photo as a memory aid or jumping off point. But I would never ask to see a photo or a picture of a specific person.

Saschka · 21/04/2024 14:23

She wants to see a photo (ie you show her quickly on your phone) or she wants you to actually send her a photo for her to keep?

Both are weird, but if it’s the second one that is so inappropriate I’d be finding a new therapist.

Original poster
RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 14:23

Thank you for your frank replies. I think I probably do need to change or end therapy, but she got me through a very rough patch so I do feel some loyalty.

OP posts:
nothingcomestonothing · 21/04/2024 14:20

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:44

I think she believes that she can understand the situation better if she can see images of the people involved.

It's not for you to solve her inability to concentrate on the therapy. I've had a ton of therapy and am a therapist,I've never been asked for a photo or asked someone for a photo. She should be concentrating on you.

NewMe2024 · 21/04/2024 14:15

Totally inappropriate. She is either unprofessional or badly trained. Either way I would not be seeing her any more.

Princessfluffy · 21/04/2024 14:11

Change therapist as this one has poor boundaries

Floatlikeafeather2 · 21/04/2024 13:25

Have you asked her why? Did you give her pictures of your children?

Lulalemon · 21/04/2024 13:23

This seems inappropriate and completely unnecessary so I would ask them for their reasoning via email ( for evidence) and then consider reporting to professional body.

I've had a couple of therapists and it tends to be patient led, so If I want to show them photos or anything else I can but they'd not ask and i have used some different techniques like visualisation or drawing as I struggle to understand and to communicate how I feel. I'd perhaps understand if they'd asked you to bring in a photo or belonging of your choice from period like childhood / marriage etc that felt would help open further discussion but they'd explain why it maybe helpful and not push further if didn't appear to engage with idea.

IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 13:08

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:44

I think she believes that she can understand the situation better if she can see images of the people involved.

Well that's a load of bollocks, isn't it?

A photograph of someone only tells you anything about who they are if the photograph has them holding up a sign describing themselves.

Oh, I can see he's got brown hair, this means he's more short tempered. Ah yes, above average height. This means they prefer to have early nights on Tuesdays.

Your therapist is a moron.

TooManyNiblings · 21/04/2024 13:07

Benefit of the doubt: maybe she feels it would help her to keep track of names in your story if she can put a face to the names? If so, merely showing her a picture would suffice. I wouldn't want to send her photos.

78Summer · 21/04/2024 13:06

Due to data protection she should not be asking for photographs. Just say you do not have any.

ZeppelinTits · 21/04/2024 13:05

Garlicked · 21/04/2024 13:00

I'd consider informing her professional body, then, @RhapsodyinBlue2.

Agree. I'm training to be a therapist and this doesn't sound right at all, in fact it's pretty concerning. She might need some further training if she's doing this. It doesn't sit right with me.
And obviously stand your ground on the photos. But I'd also be looking to switch therapists asap.

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 13:05

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:44

I think she believes that she can understand the situation better if she can see images of the people involved.

Ridiculous

Eyesopenwideawake · 21/04/2024 13:03

Highly inappropriate.

SiobhanSharpe · 21/04/2024 13:02

RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:44

I think she believes that she can understand the situation better if she can see images of the people involved.

That sounds either 1/weird or 2/utter bollocks.

Garlicked · 21/04/2024 13:00

I'd consider informing her professional body, then, @RhapsodyinBlue2.

Original poster
RhapsodyinBlue2 · 21/04/2024 12:59

No, it's not alternative therapy and she is registered, I believe. Thank you so much for your replies. I am just not comfortable with sharing some things, even though I tell her pretty much everything. I would prefer to keep the actual images private even if I am open about my feelings and reactions.

OP posts:
Garlicked · 21/04/2024 12:59

I think it's weird, too. I've done 10+years of therapy with six different therapists; none of them asked about the people in my life other than their relationships with me. You obviously don't need a photograph to discuss your feelings about them or describe something they said/did.

She must be asking for photos to meet her own needs, whatever they might be. She shouldn't do that. If she can't 'therapise' without visual aids, that's her problem. You're not there to feed her needs, and I think you should switch to someone else.

AliceKyteler · 21/04/2024 12:49

No that's red flag territory.
Is this alternative healing/therapy?