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Original poster

**TW SEXUAL ABUSE** To still be think about episode 4 of Baby Reindeer?

33 replies

Glass113 · 21/04/2024 08:51

I started watching Baby Reindeer the other night but actually had to turn it off during episode 4 as it was just so awful.

I don't know if I can go back to it. Has anybody finished it?

AIBU to say its stuck with me and I'm still thinking about it.

OP posts:
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Justleaveitblankthen · 08/06/2024 08:17

notanothernana · 21/04/2024 09:49

What shocked me the most was the guy who plays Donny also wrote it. He wrote it based on a true story. His own. So, he's acting out the abuse that he endured. That's powerful.

This.
I actually didn't know this until afterwards when I watched interviews.

I don't think what comes about later in the storyline with the characters is particularly shocking.
I can understand it to an extent.

The actor playing the abuser was phenomenal. Completely believable, so a brilliant piece of casting. As was Martha.

Vistada · 08/06/2024 04:50

MongoFrogman · 21/04/2024 09:53

I stopped watching at the start of episode 2 when he said he went on a trans dating site!

Can I ask why? Genuinely intrigued.

And looking forward to seeing if you can phrase it in a way that doesn't make you sound like a bigot.

Vistada · 08/06/2024 04:40

RaininSummer · 21/04/2024 10:25

I did get sidetracked by the trans dating thing wondering if Terry had man parts still.

Often find yourself sidetracked from the main issues at hand by what people have in their pants do you?

Christ

Softycatchymonkeys · 08/06/2024 04:29

After watching the whole thing I realised only a true story like that would be so fucked up with so many grey areas

wavingfuriously · 08/06/2024 04:17

Very shocking

Ladyzfactor · 04/05/2024 08:17

The show definitely is good for helping to bring up that there are male victims of abuse. I'm glad with the release of Quiet on Set and Baby Reindeer that this discussion is happening. It also shows the lingering effects of abuse, be it Richard Gadd or Drake Bell, and how we don't always get perfect victims, and that's ok.

Ubugly · 04/05/2024 01:18

Just watching this and was told it was brilliant, with absolute no context and having had my own trauma can't believe people describe it as this without saying. Yes it's eye opening but please.

Jewel1968 · 21/04/2024 13:22

I found it a difficult watch but it felt very honest in describing the impact it had on him. The impact was multilayered and some wasn't what I expected. It must be very difficult for the writer/actor to relive it like this but perhaps it's therapeutic?

GreyCarpet · 21/04/2024 12:52

nervousweddingguest · 21/04/2024 12:43

As an abuse survivor I did think how bad can it be?

But no... nope! I turned it off and I won't go back too it too much for me.

Not worth putting yourself through it!

Agreed. I won't be watching it.

Having been through it, I don't find sexual abuse entertaining on any level 🤷🏻‍♀️

nervousweddingguest · 21/04/2024 12:43

As an abuse survivor I did think how bad can it be?

But no... nope! I turned it off and I won't go back too it too much for me.

Not worth putting yourself through it!

Runki · 21/04/2024 12:42

@Pigeonqueen Yes, I saw referring to that. I'm so glad you've clarified that the sex was all in his head. I thought it had actually happened! I was so confused. Thank you!

Runki · 21/04/2024 12:39

@WingateAndSlim Ah yes I hadn't thought about it like that. Good point.

Combattingthemoaners · 21/04/2024 10:47

MongoFrogman · 21/04/2024 09:53

I stopped watching at the start of episode 2 when he said he went on a trans dating site!

Quite sad that that’s the one thing you chose to pick up on.

catgirl1976 · 21/04/2024 10:45

I think you have to understand the impact abuse can have to understand his actions. It can be come its own weird form of validation. It’s difficult to explain but I was abused and could relate even though it seems to make no sense it does when you’re messed up

WingateAndSlim · 21/04/2024 10:41

@Runki I felt the same. It was really hard to watch that after feeling sympathy for him but I think it might be almost a masochistic symptom of the abuse he’d suffered, perhaps?

rollonretirementfgs · 21/04/2024 10:37

notanothernana · 21/04/2024 09:49

What shocked me the most was the guy who plays Donny also wrote it. He wrote it based on a true story. His own. So, he's acting out the abuse that he endured. That's powerful.

No way! I didn't know this. Amazing acting by all. I loved Teri and wanted them to have a happy ending

Thelnebriati · 21/04/2024 10:37

the lesson I took from it is that empathy without boundaries is a pathological form of self harm.

rollonretirementfgs · 21/04/2024 10:36

MongoFrogman · 21/04/2024 09:53

I stopped watching at the start of episode 2 when he said he went on a trans dating site!

Why??? What a weird comment

PrincessFionaCharming · 21/04/2024 10:35

MongoFrogman · 21/04/2024 09:53

I stopped watching at the start of episode 2 when he said he went on a trans dating site!

Your loss. It’s a great series and really well done.

And I really liked Teri.

Funkyslippers · 21/04/2024 10:34

I didn't think episode 4 was that graphic but it was disturbing & took a very dark turn. I knew from the first few scenes where it was going. OH even commented "where's Martha when you need her?"

Pigeonqueen · 21/04/2024 10:32

Runki · 21/04/2024 10:29

@LeaveTheClocksAlone It was something he does whilst thinking about Martha and then something he does with Martha. I found it all a bit disturbing.

Are you referring to him masturbating over her? The sex scene with her is all in his head.

Runki · 21/04/2024 10:31

@RaininSummer I wondered that too!

Runki · 21/04/2024 10:29

@LeaveTheClocksAlone It was something he does whilst thinking about Martha and then something he does with Martha. I found it all a bit disturbing.

RaininSummer · 21/04/2024 10:25

I did get sidetracked by the trans dating thing wondering if Terry had man parts still.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 21/04/2024 10:05

Runki · 21/04/2024 09:26

I did manage to see it through to the end but I had to skip most of episode 4. It was so awful and I couldn't watch it. What I found almost more shocking was what happens in a later episode though. I won't say what it was, in case you do continue with it, but it made me lose sympathy with the main character (the comedian) and I wished I hadn't invested so much time in it.

Which bit? I watched it all yesterday and can't think of what you mean. Clue?