I don't really understand getting married

We didn't get presents lol and married because of love no other reason than that

So many outdated and quite offensive concepts here

To be honest we didn't have a clue about legal consequences. No one talked about getting married for legal or practical reasons 40 odd years ago or at least no one I knew did.

We were quite young and just wanted to be together for life and did not want to just live together.

I agree, I think the poster meant the man the friend regarded as her husband - though 'husband' in law means the man a person is married to, so no, he wasn't her husband.

Also the "legal partnership agreement" may have been a cohabitation agreement, which is not the same as a state-recognised civil partnership.

Well personally I wanted to get married show commitment and I didn't want my children to be illegitimate...it's a legal minefield for children of unmarried parents .and why do you care about other folks decisions..it's best for couples and children married parents have less chance of separation and that's be proven

I assume PP meant partner, not husband.

I’m confused here-can you explain? He was her husband, AND they had a legal partnership agreement (why do you need that when you’ve got married?) and his parents still had to give consent for organ donation?

Yes, this.

A friend of mine had a child but never married - sadly her partner passed away suddenly in an accident and she was left up shit creek without a paddle. She had access to nothing - none of his money, she wasn't NoK so couldn't arrange the funeral, she nearly lost her home and (at the time) couldn't even claim widows' benefits. She was also pregnant when he died.

She was incredibly lucky that her partners' parents didn't cut her off and allowed her access to his money etc. but it could so easily have gone the other way and she'd have been left with nothing.

Marriage is also easily understood. A friend was devastated when her husband was in a car crash and despite having a legal partnership agreement the hospital asked her in laws permission and consent for organ donation - marriage makes it all simple clear and easy at difficult times.

The majority of couples I know are unmarried. I ask about it and it is ALWAYS teh higher earner who says the "just a piece of paper" shite 😂

We got married and didn't invite anyone.

Didn't cost a fortune. No party.

We fucked off because it was about us not anyone else. And it's still easier than alternative legal protections.

HTH.

Here’s one :) I’m a woman and I said no when my partner proposed. I saw my mum go through a lengthy, expensive divorce which benefitted my dad more than her and decided that’s not for me, ever. I also hate the history of marriage as basically an exchange of the ownership of a woman between two men! My partner would still like to get married, but there’s no way I’m going to change my mind!

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/#:~:text=Your%20legal%20rights%20as%20a,than%20if%20you're%20married.

We didn't spend that much on ours. We already had a home, felt like the natural next step. We had been together for many years, so we knew we both wanted the relationship to last. As we wanted children, it was financially safer for me to marry, especially as we thought I'd be a stay at home mum for a while. It was also nice to have our wedding when we did. It wasn't just about us. My dad was able to walk me down the aisle and celebrate with the rest of the family. Only 4 months later he was no longer with us due to cancer. So it was well worth it for me, just for that alone!!

There is a difference between a wedding and a marriage.

I see no point in a wedding and sometimes wonder if there is a correlation between how much you spend and how long it lasts. It feels as if the more you spend the more likely you are to get divorced.

marriage itself is a legal contract that provides protection in relationships that have broken down and makes things easier when one partner dies.

I just checked and at my local council it's £35 per person for the notice appointment and the cheapest Registry Office ceremony is £47.
So £117.

Cheaper than writing a Will.

@Quartz2208 agree relevant considerations, but not all cannot be dealt with outside of marriage eg sorting powers of attorney etc. it does basically boil down to if you beat the 1 in 2/3 stats to reach the end of time (lovely) you are in a better position in some respects but not all. However if you don’t (statistically not unlikely!) you may actually be worse off depending on how your arrangements pan out

what are the rights and obligations after marriage? I also don't know the difference between marriage and partnership. When you love you'd like to maintain the relationship, partnership and marriage in case of married couple, and when you don't love each any more, you separate and divorce. What's the so called obligations and rights? Do you mean financial rights?

@Wingingit11 i think it is the protections and benefits if you do stay together that you get vs if you aren’t married
next of kin,
state pension
inheritance tax (which I didn’t realise until recently)
joint house moving directly over
being able to deal with assets etc

it is those that are important the ones nearer the end of life

Absolutely, people need to be aware either way.

I think a lot of people genuinely don't realise this re. state pensions. You must be married or in a civil partnership in order to receive your partners' pension upon their death. Being engaged or living together means you get absolutely nothing.

Private pensions are a bit different but it's still much easier to claim someone's pension if you're married (or in a civil partnership).

Irrespective of monetary matters, do you both either not have ANY other family, or, if you do, do you both get on really (and I mean REALLY) well with each other's family? The reason I ask is what happens if one of you gets very ill and unable to advocate for themselves or god forbid dies? Do you have wills and POA's? Otherwise you might find that they decide what will happen with regards to treatment and / or funeral arrangements that the remaining partner doesn't agree with or is simply excluded from and there is simply nothing they can do. Can you imagine not being at the side of your loved one as they die, because their family, the next of kin, has decided so. The hospital would have to have you removed on their say so. If you are married, YOU are next of kin so they couldn't. You might think it will be fine, but it's surprising what behaviour comes out of the family woodwork when these things happen.

As a divorcee there is a worrying amount of ignorance about the protection marriage brings to the table. The days of spousal maintenance etc are long gone save for in exceptional circumstances and child maintenance is obviously payable regardless of the parents’ relationship status.
in that slightly biased context (!) I would say that in terms of what’s the point of marriage v a wedding - if you get lucky and beat the odds and stay married until one of your dies, there is obviously potential IHT savings.
But really it’s a very easy contract to renege on nowadays and does not provide as much protection as a lot of people do think!

@fieldsofbutterflies sure it can be argued that it should not go to the other party in equal shares, however in a needs case (which the majority of divorces are) it would be hard to argue this. It’s only one example of many where you might want to tread carefully.

As an example, if you were to receive a significant inheritance your DH would be entitled to his share (likely 50%). If he then remarries, your children may lose out because the new wife inherits him.

You're not automatically entitled to a share of someone's inheritance just because you're married - the law is a bit more complicated than that. In some cases a spouse may be entitled to some of the money, but it's certainly not an automatic right upon divorce.