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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder about the OP whose daughter had ASD and she was going zero tolerance any associated behaviour for the happiness of her other child, herself and husband.

355 replies

Shestolemyboyfriend · 21/04/2024 07:30

I remember a poster who had a daughter with Autism and was having meltdowns due to beig overstimulated al lot of the time. I think there were issues around misophonia around eating , control over the TV etc and who could be in the room at any time. The OP decided that the needs of the few were outweighing the needs of the many and had decided she wasn't going to engage with any of the behaviour any more as it was making the rest of the family miserable. She had everyone divided but it sounded so hard for the whole family with a seemingly no win situation. I wonder how she fared and how it all panned out. I have a friend in a similar situation and she is doing the same with her son, after some kick back the dynamic is totally different. I just wondered how it worked for her.

OP posts:
ISaySteadyOn · 21/04/2024 07:56

But I think if we had never insisted that she eat with us sometimes, the situation might not have improved. And we never forced her. It was more a 'do you feel you can eat with us tonight or would tomorrow be better?'

ISaySteadyOn · 21/04/2024 07:53

I didn't see the thread you are talking about but in a situation like that, surely it comes down to reasonable accommodation versus total capitulation.

For example, my DD has mild misophonia and doesn't like the sound of people eating. Sometimes she eats after the rest of us and sometimes, because it is important to spend time with family, she grits her teeth and eats with us. And it's getting better. She's starting to voluntarily eat with us more now. Especially now she cooks and wants to see our reaction.

DoreenonTill8 · 21/04/2024 07:50

Was this the thread where the dd wouldn't let other family watch a TV program without her and demanded full TV control?

Original poster
Shestolemyboyfriend · 21/04/2024 07:47

@clearmoon I just wondered how she went on. I work with people with Autism so I'm aware of how vast differences qnd amily dynamics can impact but some posters were absolutely roasting the OP.

OP posts:
clearmoon · 21/04/2024 07:34

It can work, there is nothing about autism that prevents people learning acceptable behaviour on the home, but the earning journey can be a bit brutal for everyone involved. Lots of autistic people grow up grateful for the training, when it has worked. Depends largely on cognitive ability