Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't actually get treated better if you're slim, it's because your attitude changes?

159 replies

bobsandvangene · 20/04/2024 13:10

What do you think?
I often hear people say they get treated better if they are slim than fat. But I think (with the exception of the really supermorbidly obese who probably do get treated negatively/differently) it's probably just that you act more confident/have better self esteem/etc and attract a different vibe because of it?
I guess there's no real way to know.
But I'd be interested in those who have been in both sides of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
bobsandvangene · 20/04/2024 13:17

kelsaycobbles · 20/04/2024 13:15

The evidence over large numbers of people suggests that thin people do have advantages such as more likely to get a job or taken seriously in the doctors

I doubt it's you changing and becoming more confident because not every thin person is at all confident and unconscious bias is so powerful an effect

I'd heard that more conventionally attractive people are more successful at interview.

OP posts:
NotaNorovirusFan · 20/04/2024 13:17

Interesting point OP I’ve been slim and overweight and do feel that I’m not taken as seriously now I’m overweight but my confidence has definitely plummeted with the weight gain so it could also be the way I project myself.

Original poster
bobsandvangene · 20/04/2024 13:16

EggChair · 20/04/2024 13:15

My self-esteem is fine at any size, and I’ve been everything from 12 to a 22, and I’ve been taken aback by the sharp differences in people’s attitudes.

Really? That's so interesting?
From men and women?
And in an every day sort of way or just you get compliments etc of thinner.

OP posts:
kelsaycobbles · 20/04/2024 13:15

The evidence over large numbers of people suggests that thin people do have advantages such as more likely to get a job or taken seriously in the doctors

I doubt it's you changing and becoming more confident because not every thin person is at all confident and unconscious bias is so powerful an effect

EggChair · 20/04/2024 13:15

My self-esteem is fine at any size, and I’ve been everything from 12 to a 22, and I’ve been taken aback by the sharp differences in people’s attitudes.

Original poster
bobsandvangene · 20/04/2024 13:15

I heard a woman on the radio recently saying she is treated so much better after losing a lot of weight, like she was invisible before. But could it be she was making herself invisible. I know I'm doing less than I might do if I was thinner. It's such a shitty feeling to feel less than.

OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 20/04/2024 13:14

Couldn't say as someone who has always been slim, but I very rarely get treated badly. Is it common to be treated badly in public places?

Original poster
bobsandvangene · 20/04/2024 13:13

I've been briefly slim when I was younger and don't think there was a difference particularly, although maybe I was younger and less self aware.
It's interesting isn't it, and as a fatty also quite depressing!

OP posts:
PinkArt · 20/04/2024 13:12

Are you writing based on your own experience? Or your own assumptions?