To think you don't actually get treated better if you're slim, it's because your attitude changes?

I've been slim and very overweight.

I genuinely feel you get treated better if you're slim. You're not ignored. In addition, it's almost like you're more respected as if "you've got your act together".

I think it's similar to being attractive. You are dealt with differently!

It's still the case that lower socioeconomic groups are more overweight with more health issues?

That’s not to say there aren’t issues when you get slim.

Some people get very pissed off when the fat friend isn’t fat anymore!

I’ve heard some people say the opposite - that actually the additional attention when you’re slimmer is a negative. I’ve been broadly the same size all my life but have noticed increased invisibility as I’ve started to head towards 40, and if I’m honest it’s quite nice. For starters, teenage boys are more likely to make room for me when walking down the street! Maybe it’s because I’ve started to look like a teacher rather than a (admittedly pushing it) peer. And I’m not less confident with age - tbh the opposite. Far more grounded as a late 30s woman than as I was as an insecure pretty thing in my 20s.

All the above said, as someone whose weight hasn’t fluctuated hugely this is a bit of a tangential argument and so I accept my experience probably isn’t that helpful for your OP!

My clearest example was just men in the street. When slim, whole group would look and be polite and get out of my way. When fat, expected same reaction but got angry looks, like I was the biggest inconvenience. Bit of a shock.

When I lost weight I had a male neighbour start talking nicely to me. I thought, wow he’s not acknowledged my existence before. He ask me how long I lived there. I said 10 years and he looked really confused. I actually saw it dawn on his face that I was that fat girl he used to ignore.

Bloody men.

I've definitely noticed it in medical settings. If you're overweight, that's the reason for everything and the solution is always to lose weight. If you're slim, doctors take the cause more seriously (albeit there are broader issues with women's healthcare too aside from weight)

I've recently lost weight and am now size 12.

I'd say there is truth in what OP is saying. I do feel much more confident and much less kind of cowering in my own skin, and more able to make eye contact and not feel if someone is looking at me all they are thinking is FAT.

HOWEVER, fatphobia is real unfortunately. And people make judgements based on it including about medicine, work, employment etc etc. that isn't anything to do with the positive mental attitude or not of the individual.

Yes, I was an overweight, working-class Oxford undergraduate, and some peoole appeared to find this a literally incredible combination.

I think we have an inbuilt judgement on people who are overweight - that they don't look after themselves. That would reflect in them being treated differently in a doctor's surgery or in a job interview.

Everyone. Particularly medical professionals.

Yes, I strongly believe people do think that someone who is overweight is thick.

It's well researched how men particularly mistreat women they do not find attractive.

Read this article and what Gwyneth Patrol said on how she was treated whilst wearing a fat suit for Shallow Hal.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/shortcuts/2020/mar/02/gwyneth-paltrow-said-starring-in-shallow-hal-was-a-disaster-heres-why-she-is-right

I’ve noticed the difference the most from around size 18/16 to size 12.

Plus, if course, it's far from guaranteed that a person who loses weight will automatically become confident. If somebody has been self-conscious about their weight all their life, that may cause long-lasting issues even if they lose the weight.

I’ve lost 14 stone over the last few years. People treat you differently.

The two big differences I’ve noticed have been general manners - people hold doors, say excuse me if they need to pass, and wait until I get out the lift/off the bus before trying to get in. I also get offered a seat on the bus much more often - and medical professionals. I’ve finally been taken seriously for an issue I’ve had for over 10 years that is nothing to do with weight.

I’m also given much more respect/manners when dealing with my DDs medical professionals (she has a life limiting condition). The difference there is stark

I seriously doubt it. Do you really not think that people judge others on their weight, and in some cases treat them differently too? Lots of people have real prejudice and disdain towards overweight people they see or walk past in the street, so I don't see how that can possibly be based on the person's self esteem!

Not always no. Most common, and far more than people like to admit, others treat you based on how you look. I've seen overweight joggers be jeered at and mocked more than slim ones. I've seen people, usually men, completely ignore women they perceive as unattractive or overweight in work and social situations. Not everyone is good. We need to be honest and acknowledge that.

Nope, you're definitely treated differently and I'm probably more self confident now than I was as a slim young woman.