To think you don't actually get treated better if you're slim, it's because your attitude changes?

I think, as someone whose weight ranges between size 14 and 22 (currently 16-18) that fat people are often regarded as lazy, not very hygienic, not intelligent, badly dressed, lacking in self-control and with disgust. I see it often, particularly in terms of bullying of teenagers (I work with teenagers) and in attitudes to parents by agencies such as schools and health/social services, and by men. I also see it in how overweight teachers are treated by teenagers and parents and other school staff. Recently a parent described a teacher at her daughter's school as 'the really fat Northern Irish one'.......'well she would teach cookery wouldn't she?', 'she's really lazy, barely gets off her backside in the classroom and she's got BO'. All said without batting an eyelid and took great offence when I said she was 'quite rude'.
I currently work with 2 teenage girls who are refusing to go to their respective schools because they are overweight (both about a size 18-20) and are saying they are continually called names like 'fat cunt', lard-arse','jelly belly', one says a group of boys shout comments like 'saw you on 'My 600lb Life' 'Are you too fat to get in the bath now?' at her.
I agree that personally, I am more confident at size 14-16, I can wear clothes I like more, have more energy, gain confidence from exercising, I just feel better. But people definitely treat me better too. They don't make assumptions about me that they do when I am heavier.

I think it's one of those situations where that is not always the reason but sometimes it is. I'm lucky that I've had very little prejudice as a women in a mans world over the years and I do think it's because most of my childhood I spent in a boiler suit with my brothers and my dad so have learnt to take no crap and be very direct if there is the slightest hint of anyone not taking me seriously. But I appreciate not everyone has that advantage and shouldn't have to behave the way I sometimes have to.

I've been up and down in weight but what has really shocked me when I lost a lot was men I thought I knew well and were friends treating me totally differently. It wasn't me it was them. And men in general did treat me much more positively. I found it very depressing, especially with the close ones, that something I would have thought had nothing to do with our friendship affected how they treated me,

I actually agree OP. I'm currently a size 20 which us the biggest I've ever been and I can say hand on heart that I haven't noticed any difference in the way I'm treated from when I was a size 12.

I am fairly self-assured. I'm pretty. I make an effort with hair/makeup/clothes. I'm white. I'm "middle class". I have a bland London accent. I'm educated. I have a professional job role. I feel like those factors all count towards how we are treated as well. ( not thay they should!)

This cannot be true surely! I get ( though not approve) strangers being rude/ dismissive and can almost get the original blanking; I can also grasp the sudden interest, but the dropping after being friendly defies belief! How low can people go!

Other people treat you differently!
I have been both slim and fat and have been treated differently depending on my size. The last experience was when I lost 9 stone on an extreme diet! The yummy mummies from my children’s school suddenly became my best friends. Unfortunately the weight started to go back on and they then blanked me all over again! Oh I was heartbroken 🤣

I think if you are thin you are likely to be taken seriously at the doctor as being underweight is often caused by anorexia, physical illness, or else drug misuse. So the cause needs to be found. While for a person living with obesity, that condition is (often incorrectly) perceived as being the cause of any other symptom.

Yes.
I was big - got ignored, treated poorly or, on occasion, people were 'kind'.

I was slim, I was treated differently, (doors opened, etc). Being treated differently, rather than losing weight led to increase in confidence. I gained weight again but never lost the confidence. I was bigger and confident - still got treated badly by some. Not as bad as 'big and no confidence' but certainly worse than slim and no confidence (and even worse than slim and confident)

Both make a difference - slim a bigger one (attractive, I can't comment on as I have never been more than average looking)

Years ago I lost a lot of weight and went from 20 to 14. Cynical me was interested to see just how much interest I was getting from guys who’d previously been unaware of my existence. Arseholes, all of them. I kept thinking to myself ‘but I’m still the same person!’ And honestly I don’t think it cuts both ways nearly as much. Different body types are far more acceptable in men than in women.

I think confidence has you treated better and slimness has you treated better. So one will just compound the other.

Maybe 10% your attitude, 90% the world.
I lost weight as a teenager and was SHOCKED at the difference maybe because I was in no way expecting it. Adults, teachers, strangers, random people…it was a completely different experience being thin. People weren’t just nicer but took me more seriously, warmed to my personality, wanted me around. Suddenly I wasn’t annoying, I was cute and quirky!
So, yeah. Not in my experience.

As a slim person I was objectified, as a fat person I was verbally abused and often felt invisible- so much so that people would walk into me.

My weight has fluctuated from normal to morbidly obese over my adulthood. At my highest weight of approx 400# I was basically invisible in public. Once I was in an airport and nobody acknowledged me at all. I saw a severely handicapped young woman in a specialty wheelchair, our eyes met and we both smiled hugely at each other, it so strange, she knew we were both ghosts. I think that was the only person who looked me in the eyes that whole damn day.

I am presently at 300# and am slightly visible in public now. If I get to my goal of 200# I guarantee I’ll be mostly visible in public.

Its a real phenomena and it messes with my head a lot. I don’t get harassed strangely, its as if morbid obesity scares people and they don’t bother with the cruelty they rain over pudgy women, because when I was pudgy I did get mistreated by strangers but never to my face when I get super fat. (Maybe it happens behind my back but not to my face.)

I think it's a bit of both. I notice that even when I am fairly overweight, if I work out regularly my posture and mood are better and that has an impact.

The difference between how I'm treated as a short 8 stone vs 12 stone was pretty noticeable at times.

I can't imagine how much worse it may be for others who weigh more.

I gained six stone in my pregnancies, and lost it again within 6 months (well, more or less - was 8.5 stone when I got pregnant with my 1st and stayed at 9, after).

I didn't see myself as fat because I connected it with the baby, but I was in size 8 to 10 clothes when I got pregnant and in 18 immediate postpartum.

The biggest shock to me is that people treated me as stupid when I was large, and the assumption was of intelligence when slim. They were irritated and impatient with me when large.

It was very clear, and very genuine. It wasn't down to my attitude, because I certainly didn't regard myself as less intelligent.

I definitely do. I'm much more attractive also when I'm slimmer (not to seem egotistical) and I've noticed across the board there is a different attitude towards me, more help, listened to more

Thank you. I need to find a better GP and it is on my to do list. I will get round to it and pluck up the courage eventually, hopefully I’ll strike lucky with a GP who bothers to listen xx

I’m sorry you feel like this. I felt the same for a long time. I’ve tried really hard over the last year to make the best of my appearance and keep spending time with friends. Every time the nasty voice in my head starts, I try and think of the people I love and how I wouldn’t love them any less or want to spend less time with them if they put weight on. Your true friends will want your company, no matter your size.
I’ve started following a lot of larger ladies on instagram for outfit inspiration too. Seeing them style themselves so confidently and looking gorgeous has spurred me on to try and do the same ❤️ xxx

Obese to slim in a year is quite an achievement .

And you’re right, the same person is inside.

You sound like an idiot.

People do treat slim people better than the obese. I've been both, and being slim now I'm treated worlds apart from this time last year when I was obese. My attitude is no different. I've always been confident and happy, but I am judged and received much differently now. It's the same for men.

Actually I do think it’s very hard for men too. I don’t think women objectivise men in quite the same way so there is that element, but on the whole I think people judge weight harshly full stop. It’s one of the issues that shows humans in their worst light. I try to be very non judgmental and understanding because I know people wouldn’t choose to have an appearance that is judged negatively.

I'm a happy, smiley sort of person at any weight. From being a slim teenagers, I very gradually gained weight and attributed the change in people's behaviour around me just to getting older.

I noticed it in whether people smiled back and engaged (even as trivial as returning my good morning ) or looked at me warily as if I was well let's say 'a bit mad'. It seemed as I got older people were more likely to respond warily as if I were mad than to return my smile/greeting.

In my sixties, I dropped around a third of my body weight, from pushing size 22 back to size 10/8. Suddenly anyone who responds is back to smiling back and returning my greeting.

Many more people engage in all situations, so I now put it down to weight much more than to age. Such a shallow world.

I’m sorry: that’s really a bit rubbish isn’t it. Thirties would be quite young for peri, you’re right. But the gp sounds massively dismissive. Weight can be a symptom not a cause. Try to drum up the courage to try again : you can always come back here for commiserations if the experience is just as bad! X