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AIBU?

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Original poster

Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

496 replies

Washingupfury · 20/04/2024 12:32

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?
OP posts:
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5
Fwaltz · 21/04/2024 18:41

I’m 100% with you OP. The way your husband does it is gross. I’m horrified that so many people on here think it’s fine!

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:40

Do you remember photos of winning teams celebrating in the communal bath?

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:34

@AJLCroft what do you think the purpose of a bath is?

GooseClues · 21/04/2024 18:24

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:01

@Kalevala I think you have got it down to a fine art as you have experienced limited water supply. I bet other posters washing under a running tap are not so mindful

I wash up the same way as Kalevala and so does everyone else in my family and all of my friends/their parents growing up. It might be cultural because I’m not from the UK but it’s definitely not some rare fine art.

MNTourist · 21/04/2024 18:18

I think for the sake of your marriage - buy a dishwasher :)

Tas1984 · 21/04/2024 18:17

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 21/04/2024 18:04

🙄Yeah, there’s only one way of doing things and anything else is ‘gross’. Grow up!

Show quote history

No. There’s a nasty way of washing up and a cleaner way. That, is not the cleaner way. Pure and simple. You keep washing up with nasty disgusting chunky water. Good luck to you. I’m alright doing it properly thanks 👍🏻

cardibach · 21/04/2024 18:17

Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream · 21/04/2024 18:05

I follow your dh’s method if washing by hand (however.. I recently bought my first ever dishwasher and it has honestly been life changing!) BUT I always give each item a rinse under the hot tap after.

After the dishwasher? I can’t even…

cardibach · 21/04/2024 18:15

AJLCroft · 21/04/2024 18:01

@cardibach yes food is edible, until it becomes 'waste'. Would you jump in a bath of hot soapy water after falling into a bath of baked beans and trie and clean yourself. You are being facetious. You got the drift. Bore off

Yes, I would. The quantity of water in a bath v the amount of bean juice means I’d be clean. And no need for stupid rudeness, thanks.

saveforthat · 21/04/2024 18:12

Bumply · 20/04/2024 12:42

I saw a video taken from the inside of a dishwasher and the water didn't run clear until right towards the end.

As long as the dishes get rinsed in running clean water I don't see an issue with what your DH does, although I will change the water once if things are particularly dirty

Wow, I want to see this video. Have you got a link?

K0OLA1D · 21/04/2024 18:11

Rosmarina · 21/04/2024 18:07

I think a dishwasher is essential these days.We are more aware of germs now although survived other peoples messy ways of washing up! My parents always washed dishes in a bowl of sudsy water but then rinsed it all under a running tap. Good idea !

They really really aren't

Kalevala · 21/04/2024 18:11

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:01

@Kalevala I think you have got it down to a fine art as you have experienced limited water supply. I bet other posters washing under a running tap are not so mindful

You are probably right, some people do waste water. It's people saying running water or rinsing is automatically more wasteful. I'm sure I've read that some others on this thread use a soapy sponge directly on dishes and then 'shower' them rather than run a bath.

Rosmarina · 21/04/2024 18:07

I think a dishwasher is essential these days.We are more aware of germs now although survived other peoples messy ways of washing up! My parents always washed dishes in a bowl of sudsy water but then rinsed it all under a running tap. Good idea !

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:07

@Gwenhwyfar surely that only works if you are washing a few items. That’s why a dishwasher is more efficient as it showers everything at the same time. But if you are washing every individual item under a running tap you will use more water than in a washing up bowl.

Clarabell77 · 21/04/2024 18:06

YANBU. I have a dishwasher but when I’m washing dishes I just run clean hot water over them to wash and then rinse. Wouldn’t want to wash anything in dirty water so if I didn’t have a dishwasher and had lots to wash up I’d be doing it your way.

Pixiedust88 · 21/04/2024 18:05

Unless it has chunks of food in it or is mega dirty slightly cloudy water is ok IMO. Just imagine the water bill you’d get if you had a water meter and were washing up your way

Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream · 21/04/2024 18:05

I follow your dh’s method if washing by hand (however.. I recently bought my first ever dishwasher and it has honestly been life changing!) BUT I always give each item a rinse under the hot tap after.

BringItOnxxx · 21/04/2024 18:04

There's a bbc podcast with a dishwashing scientist(!). Mainly focusing on dishwashers but includes hand washing. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xdbx

BBC Radio 4 - Sliced Bread, Dishwashers

Is it better to wash your dishes by hand or use a dishwasher?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xdbx

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 21/04/2024 18:04

Tas1984 · 21/04/2024 17:48

Anyone that’s on your DH side is as gross as he is. Wash with clean water not nasty gross cloudy water. Ignore the gross people, tell him do it properly 🙈

🙄Yeah, there’s only one way of doing things and anything else is ‘gross’. Grow up!

MumTeacherofMany · 21/04/2024 18:03

I'm a mumsnetter sinner& have the tap running the whole time. I think washing up on a bowl of dirty water is grim personally

Gwenhwyfar · 21/04/2024 18:02

Octavia64 · 20/04/2024 12:38

Strictly if you take the idea that you need clean water to clean something you should change the water after every item.

Most people don't do that.

Your DH's method is the method my mum uses.

I do your way.

Lots of single people with only a couple of things to wash do it in running water, but then get criticised for water waste.
One way is like a shower, the other like a bath. Both work.

AJLCroft · 21/04/2024 18:01

@cardibach yes food is edible, until it becomes 'waste'. Would you jump in a bath of hot soapy water after falling into a bath of baked beans and trie and clean yourself. You are being facetious. You got the drift. Bore off

crumblingschools · 21/04/2024 18:01

@Kalevala I think you have got it down to a fine art as you have experienced limited water supply. I bet other posters washing under a running tap are not so mindful

Kalevala · 21/04/2024 17:57

Toptops · 21/04/2024 17:48

I'm surprised no one so far has mentioned the environmental impact of washing dishes under a running tap. So wasteful!
I'm with your husband on this. His way is how I do it and I grew up with. It's fine. Nobody died.
Please listen to the episode of sliced bread or marketing bs on this - broadcast a few weeks ago. Very interesting!

Not if the plug is in. No difference if you run the water first or as you go.

cardibach · 21/04/2024 17:56

AJLCroft · 21/04/2024 17:55

@cardibach ..... it's an analogy ??

But a crap one. Thought my point was obvious. Mud is actually dirty. Food is edible.

AJLCroft · 21/04/2024 17:55

@cardibach ..... it's an analogy ??

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