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Original poster

Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

496 replies

Washingupfury · 20/04/2024 12:32

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?
OP posts:
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5
Weighnow · 20/04/2024 16:04

His way is the way I was taught in Home economics!

I change the water when it gets cold or greasy.

Dacadactyl · 20/04/2024 16:02

Your DH is right, that doesn't even look bad.

If you think that's bad you wouldn't want to see the water I wash up in!

I very rarely change the water.

Pancakefam · 20/04/2024 16:00

Yes yes, your way is far superior. You win the task of doing all the washing up, forever.

Or just butt out and let him get on with it. You're not his supervisor

Shoutinglagerlagerlager · 20/04/2024 15:58

Both methods sound grim to me…

LordPercyPercy · 20/04/2024 15:56

I wouldn't like this at all. Most of our stuff goes in the dishwasher but there's certain expensive items I wash by hand. These get rinsed off, thoroughly washed with plenty of running water and then thoroughly rinsed afterwards.

Jellyx · 20/04/2024 15:52

I'm with DH- I rinsed everything in clean water after though.

K0OLA1D · 20/04/2024 15:51

dinmin · 20/04/2024 14:38

I’ve already explained that I know my family and friends don’t do this!

Show quote history

How often do you watch your friends washing their dishes?

WiddlinDiddlin · 20/04/2024 15:41

Everything (well no not everything, not sharp things or things they can't reach into properly) gets pre-washed by dog here.

Then cleanest to dirtiest. Change if it gets greasy. Everything rinsed with very hot water before going onto the drainer.

We do not hand wash much since we got the dishwasher though (god I love that thing!).

So I vote YANBU but you probably still think we're horribly unhygenic due to the canine pre-wash.

AdultReindeer · 20/04/2024 15:40

I'm not very fussy about cleanliness compared to a lot of people. But I agree with you that his way is gross.

Dishes should be rinsed thoroughly before going on the drainer. I'm knocking my gavel on that.

caringcarer · 20/04/2024 15:39

He's being lazy. It only takes a couple of minutes to change the water.

BusyCaz · 20/04/2024 15:35

justaboutdonenow · 20/04/2024 12:49

I'm with you, although I'd rinse any items waiting to be washed (pans, roasting tins etc) to get any residue off them, then wash them in a clean bowl of hot soapy water.

This, that way the water wouldn't get that dirty. But I don't rinse them after washing them.

FangsForTheMemory · 20/04/2024 15:32

If washing by hand I rinse in cold water, wash in hot soapy water and the rinse in plain hot water.

Tel12 · 20/04/2024 15:29

Get a dishwasher. You are wasting a lot of water.

Hankunamatata · 20/04/2024 15:28

I worse. I'm a two bowl women. Hot soapy water in one and clean water in other wash dish and rinse in clean water. I change clean water when it gets soapy but not the original soapy water

Frangipanyoul8r · 20/04/2024 15:25

I’m use DH’s method but I always rinse everything with clean water. Much like a dishwasher - all plates are cleaned in soapy foody warm water then all plates are rinsed after.

elrider · 20/04/2024 15:23

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/04/2024 15:13

I'm with you on this. I can't see the point of washing dishes in dirty water.
I have a similar frank exchange of views with my DP about reusing kitchen sponges. I think they're basically only good for 48 hours, DP thinks that's wasteful. But you can get a pack of 40 for a quid in the pound shop near us: why would you take the risk?

I agree they harbour germs, but at the same time it definitely is wasteful, but not from a money point of view, more the plastic in landfill and energy that goes into producing them. Why not maybe disinfect them with boiling water or sterilise in the microwave every day or two of that's the only thing you'll use? They could last a few weeks each then.

But ideally I'd recommend switching to something reusable that can go in a hot wash, like a cloth or in fact I also like a slightly more sponge-like texture more than normal cloths and so I use compostable sponge cloths made from cellulose. It can go on a hot wash many times then on the compost heap at the end of its life. It's worth considering a switch!

GooseClues · 20/04/2024 15:19

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/04/2024 15:13

I'm with you on this. I can't see the point of washing dishes in dirty water.
I have a similar frank exchange of views with my DP about reusing kitchen sponges. I think they're basically only good for 48 hours, DP thinks that's wasteful. But you can get a pack of 40 for a quid in the pound shop near us: why would you take the risk?

Many sponges can be microwaved and disinfected that way (or put in boiling water or the dishwasher).

Cherrysoup · 20/04/2024 15:18

Dishwasher! I’d probably change the water.

GooseClues · 20/04/2024 15:17

Kalevala · 20/04/2024 15:04

I've been on tank water and I would soap up dishes with a little water, then rinse under a slowly running tap with the plug in, glasses through to pans, turning the water off when not rinsing. The sink water then helps to mostly rinse the last things. Sometimes boiling a kettle saves water so you get hot water straight away when it needs to be hot for some things.

Show quote history

Exactly this!

Everyone knows that a quick shower, especially if you turn the water off while soaping up, uses much less water than a bath but somehow the common wisdom in the UK is that essentially giving your dishes a bath is the water saving way.

Bignanna · 20/04/2024 15:13

K37529 · 20/04/2024 12:37

I wash dishes under a running tap. Your husband isn’t cleaning dishes he’s just transferring germs from one dish to another.

That’s very wasteful of water and energy. We have a bowl of hot soapy water, then quick rinse, rather than keep the tap running.

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/04/2024 15:13

I'm with you on this. I can't see the point of washing dishes in dirty water.
I have a similar frank exchange of views with my DP about reusing kitchen sponges. I think they're basically only good for 48 hours, DP thinks that's wasteful. But you can get a pack of 40 for a quid in the pound shop near us: why would you take the risk?

notmybear · 20/04/2024 15:05

Lassiata · 20/04/2024 14:07

It sounds disgusting though, if people don’t actually also clean the bowl properly after.

Well of course you bloody do, like you clean your sink.
I don't get the point of them either but why would you assume they don't get cleaned?

Well someone else on this thread commented on how many fuzzy bowls she had seen, so ut seems like many don’t.

But I can see that it’s better with a plastic bowl for mugs etc who would break easily in the sink. If that is what it is for.

pelotonaddiction · 20/04/2024 15:05

I have a weird method
Wash until water needs changing and then rinse under the water that's filling the sink for the second wash
I can't stand it when dishes have soap left on them

Kalevala · 20/04/2024 15:04

crumblingschools · 20/04/2024 14:55

How do people wash up in countries where water supply is limited?

I've been on tank water and I would soap up dishes with a little water, then rinse under a slowly running tap with the plug in, glasses through to pans, turning the water off when not rinsing. The sink water then helps to mostly rinse the last things. Sometimes boiling a kettle saves water so you get hot water straight away when it needs to be hot for some things.

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 20/04/2024 15:01

Lassiata · 20/04/2024 14:07

It sounds disgusting though, if people don’t actually also clean the bowl properly after.

Well of course you bloody do, like you clean your sink.
I don't get the point of them either but why would you assume they don't get cleaned?

I always understood that part of the point of a plastic washing-up bowl was to cushion fragile items while washing them? It’s very easy to chip a delicate glass on a stainless steel or porcelain sink; a plastic bowl is gentler.