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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU - city break with kids

57 replies

citybreakaway · 20/04/2024 09:01

We took the kids away for a city break over Easter. DH is still mad at me over a few things. I don't think IABU here but would be good to know if others agree with DH and I am wrong.

  • Kids had breakfast at airbnb in the morning around 8am. At 9am we were out in the city. I went into a coffee shop to grab coffee for me and DH. Came out of the shop to DH (who was on the phone) and he was upset that I didn't buy DC a doughnut or sausage roll in the shop. Said it was terrible that I bought coffee and nothing for DC. He then tried to take DC into shop to buy them something and DC said no because they didn't want anything!
  • I planned an itinerary for the few days based on what everyone wanted to do. I asked them in advance what they would like to see/do, booked and paid for things and worked out the best way to fit everything in. Kids and DH picked (some expensive and some free) attractions that they wanted to see and I made sure we got to see/do everything. There was one attraction I really wanted to see. We got there, everyone was amazed.

There was a 30 minute 'show' there that I wanted to see. DH went on the phone (again) and DC started playing up, I went down to youngest DC (age 4) level and said 'please be good. This is the one thing I wanted to see here, we are also doing the things you want to do, please don't ruin this for me'. DH hates me for this, keeps bringing it up and saying I am selfish and make everything about me.

  • Older DC (age 10) farted in a small Tesco Express and I told him that was rude and he should not have let one off inside a small shop where people were buying food.
  • Getting dinner one night, I accidentally put the wrong card into a machine and the reader said 'declined'. Over my shoulder, 10 year old read out 'DECLINED' really loudly for everyone in the shop to hear. I told DS that he should not have done this.
  • Younger DS wanted to get some felt tip pens in a shop. I said no as he didn't need them in this foreign city where he had nothing to colour in anyway. DH bought them for him.

So weeks later, DH is still angry at me for all of the above, calling me selfish all the time and saying I make everything about me.
DC have no issue with me. I always talk everything through with them and make sure that when they go to bed at night they are happy, know I am not cross at them for any reason - they aren't upset or scarred by these things.

Please tell me, am I wrong here?

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 20/04/2024 09:30

So how much parenting and organising did DH do in respect of this holiday (and in fact generally) @citybreakaway

101Nutella · 20/04/2024 09:25

YANBU - sounds like he’s just looking for things to row about or he wants to be mean to you.

id ignore it if he brings it up and do a few more things without him if he is so miserable. Plus tell him say what he really means.

RandomButtons · 20/04/2024 09:23

notyouagainbantu · 20/04/2024 09:16

DH being angry weeks later is weird. I get why you were annoyed about the show and I don't think DH should have made a scene about the coffee. I'd personally have found DS saying DECLINED funny. I think farting in a Tesco Express is OK, but I wouldn't do it in a Waitrose.

Not in Waitrose 😂

takealettermsjones · 20/04/2024 09:20

Your DH sounds exhausting. The only thing I think is a bit off is you telling the four year old not to ruin it for you; I think that's a bit much at four and I would have asked DH to deal with the four year old instead, which he should have done anyway, knowing it was the thing you were looking forward to. Everything else is your DH being argumentative for the sake of it.

notyouagainbantu · 20/04/2024 09:16

DH being angry weeks later is weird. I get why you were annoyed about the show and I don't think DH should have made a scene about the coffee. I'd personally have found DS saying DECLINED funny. I think farting in a Tesco Express is OK, but I wouldn't do it in a Waitrose.

soupmaker · 20/04/2024 09:13

IMO you have a DH problem. You organised the weekends events and he couldn't even sort out the DC while you did the one thing you really wanted to. That says a lot.

I'd have not been bothered by the DC reading aloud declined. I mean who cares. And if I did I'd have spoken to them later to explain why. And I'd have suggested to DH to buy a pad for doodles if buying pens for DC.

ForeveraBluebird · 20/04/2024 09:07

Sounds like the sort of things that happen over a busy city weekend, your husband being angry is the problem. To be angry weeks later is completely unacceptable.