Don’t want a second limited holiday with friend.

With the cost of travelling right now, I wouldn’t want to compromise on my experience or anything really, so if it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you, there’s no obligation.

@Anameisaname I agree it is just two friends wanting different things on holiday. People are saying it is anti disability because OP comes across as a martyr. My DP is far more disabled than OPs friend and we have never been anywhere with only one beach and restaurant in the place he can access. The friend does not seem to use a wheelchair every day, the issue is longer distances, so she gets taxis. Anywhere without a long walk to the beach or up loads of stairs would be accessible to her.
It sounds like her friend just likes a sun holiday without sightseeing, like lots of people.
And tbh it does not take much researching to book one of these holidays. So maybe her friend does not think the researching is a big deal.

@LemonPeonies it does not even sound like the friend uses a wheelchair normally. She gets taxis to places that are a long walk. But she walks shorter distances.

Yes! Disabled people should manage themselves better and avail of our government’s generous allowances, supports and facilities and stop being CFs sponging off their friends.

Rosscameasdoody
Any idea how much an electric wheelchair plus a carer would cost in comparison to how much income average disabled person has ? No ? Thought not.

The OP's friend is suggesting a second holiday abroad this year. That doesn't sound like someone on the breadline.

I suspect the real issue is perhaps confidence and lack of independence. IME people who can Facebook but not use IT for other things, have fallen into a pattern of letting others do things for them.

OP OTH sounds very independent, so my guess is they aren't really compatible holiday companions.

YANBU at all, you're her friend not her carer.

So is your friend representative of all disabled people?

If you are also disabled how could your pub-loving ‘friend’ expect you to be her carer?

Also who said it was OP’s job or responsibility to be her carer?

I don’t have any booze-mad painkiller swallowing friends but if I did I wouldn’t go on holiday with them whether they are disabled or not. Neither would I be their friend.

I’m only friends with people I like so have no need to discuss their issues on forums.

OP did not mention that her friend had a liking for booze and pills so I don’t see the relevance of your post.

@Borntorun123 would you want to have an annual holiday with her 1/3 or 1/4 of your weekends/breaks away? If so maybe suggest planning something for next year instead as your other 2/3 times away are already accounted for annually!

She could rent one on holiday so OP doesn't have to either push her around in a wheelchair all day or be seriously restricted whilst supposed to be relaxing and enjoying a holiday. The friend is disabled but it's up to her to manage that, not expect a free ride and free carer.

Absolutley roaring with laughter at the fact that you think you are a kind person.

This is why being disabled is so isolating. People don't want to get involved if the relationship runs the risk of having to care more about the other persons needs than their own. I'm not saying it is right or wrong, just what happens to disabled people. That is said without guilt tripping, it isnt anybodies job to care for their friends, but is it societies job through taxation and support. Give those with disabilities the means to be independent and have a life worth living. Because it can happen to anyone.

I don't get why so many people are saying this is anti disabled people.
Honestly this is a simple case of 2 friends who went on holiday and it didn't work out. Friend 1 the OP wanted to go and do active stuff and did not want to plan everything. Friend 2 wanted someone to organise everything and wanted to stay put and relax.

They are not compatible holiday friends. That's it really. So YANBU OP.

@Pupinskipops that’s a really valid response. You’re right only she can decide if she needs that additional support.

What on earth do you mean @Janiie
OP simply doesn’t want to go on holiday again in this capacity which is fine.

No need to guilt trip people.

“Loved spending time with you but usually see and do things at a much faster pace when I’m on my own so will do a few more of those first, and we’ll perhaps do another one together in a year or two.”

I think that's the right decision, OP.

Glad the vociferous YABUs had an unintended effect

Why does someone need to to say something on OPs friends behalf? There is nothing to say. OP doesn't want to spend her holiday as a carer to her friend. She is not responsible in everyday life for her and has happily gone on holiday with her once and found it frustrating and costly. It is not OPs job or responsibility.
I am classed as disabled but i am responsible for me. I have a disabled friend who would would love to come on holiday with me but i refuse to be her carer, i will not have my holiday ruined by her. She won't walk anymore than 200m but can manage a mile if there is a pub at the end, she expects everyone to do her bidding and treats everyone like staff, she wants everything her way. She does not help herself, she swallows strong pain killers with alcohol and would be drunk everyday by lunch. Because she is disabled, should i just suffer and go on holiday with her ?

You can also frame it as alone time/days which is just as valid and maybe more understandable from her POV

Youre a good friend and I am glad that there are friends like you. Agree on delaying till next year and being able to express your need to go off and do your own thing some days? I would so much rather someone told me their boundaries/conditions clearly and we could still do the thing rather than just stopped going at all!

'am absolutely not expecting OP to go on another holiday with her. Nobody should go on a holiday they don't want to go on. I just don't see OP as some fantastic person or great friend just for going on one restricted holiday that she is now complaining about and (I think) very probably exagarating about the help and restrictions.'

Exactly. The poor disabled friend thought they'd had a lovely time and wants to go again with her! I hope she doesn't read mumsnet I bet this is fairly identifying what with the 'paid loungers' and one restaurant allowed <allegedly> only.

The op is fine to go alone, to go with able bodied friend. It isn't fine to blame the poor friend and suggest she just didn't try hard enough therefore it's a no going forward.

It sounds like she is not a constant wheelchair user so is unlikely to need a carer to go on holiday with her. Especially as she gets taxis to where she wants to go to.
The only time OP mentions a wheelchair is pushing one in the airport which is bizarre as there is no need for the OP to do this.
Friend could hire an electric wheelchair to get around sightseeing, but maybe she is not interested in that kind of holiday? Plenty of able bodied people only go on lie by the beach or pool holidays.
And it will not be true that her disabled friend could only go to one restaurant or beach.

Agree with others that you tell her your not available for another vacation. Would you be willing to do a day trip, somewhere local where you both have a nice day and home to your own beds at night?

Just don’t go. Holidays should be looked forward to, knowing you’ll be doing things you enjoy.

Hopefully your friend will have other people who want to go with her - well judging from the posts on here there are many give up time, money ( hmm sceptical !).