Don’t want a second limited holiday with friend.

Or maybe the friend is just a bore?

OP has been very tactful and diplomatic but it really does sound like the holiday was boring.

Great, so we’ve established then that the friend doesn’t need OP and OP can happily book future holidays for herself and not feel obliged to go with friend anywhere.

She did all the shopping because friend wasn't able to. What would you call it then?

I agree. It is quite laughable that some posters think booking a hotel by a beach and buying a few things in a shop (when she was probably going anyway) is being a carer.

People often use wheelchairs in airports but not the rest of the time partly because it is free and the airport employs people to push them but also because you sometimes have to move at speed. When I broke my leg I was advised to use one as although I could move the distance with crutches I wasn't that fast and the steps up to the plane were also difficult.

She actually had the same kind of holiday as the less mobile friend and unlike the friend she only had to deal with the restrictions for one week and doesn't have to again if she doesn't want to. If you think it is a terrible hardship to have a restricted holiday once in your life what do you think life is like for disabled people in general. I'm not suggesting OP goes on holiday with her friend again but the lack of empathy and nastiness towards disabled people on this thread is awful.

"Spoils her fun" it meant she hardly had a holiday, you're minimising it. Plus friend was all set to expect more of the same in a very short time.

You might like doing it but others don't, never volunteered for it, and shouldn't be guilted by anyone for that.

Depends what type of friendship you have. I guess if you are asking here, then maybe not a strong one.

Did a City break once with a friend who was immobile following a crash, we had the most ace time, and people were so helpful getting the wheelchair on and off buses etc. Got great tables in restaurants due to needing extra space and generally enjoyed ourselves. Yes we did get stuck a few times, but we had a good laugh about it.

Unfortunately neither of us is able to repeat the trip, but I would if we could.

Holiday on your own if that's what you want, but if you want to keep your friendship, include her in your trips too.

@Janiie "step up"? "Won't support "? No one is obligated to look after someone else all holiday without pay or as much as a thank you. If the friend can't even walk the length of an airport without needing a wheelchair it sounds like she needs to use one more often. I'm interested in why she can't even go shopping with the OP, how does she usually manage? And if she can't research herself to find holidays to suit her needs, because she's unable to or just can't be bothered? Need some more details. Finally, she apparently receives PIP which is for disabled people, for pp's arguing whether she has a disability.

Does it occur to you that some of us are speaking from the experience of being our parents carers or having disabled friends who we happily support?

That is why we are saying there is help in airports with wheelchairs, when booking travel agents are very knowledgeable regarding accessible facilities (no need for extensive 'research') and finally, none of are perfect we may at any time need people who allegedly like us to step up a bit. The op doesn't feel able to and that is fine. Her choice <as many have said>, but let's stop pretending it is 'incompatible travel pals' and rather one can't/won't support another with mobility issues as it spoils her fun.

Yanbu to say no to a second holiday of this kind within a year or even 18 months. It's ok to say no and to make a counter-suggestion for when you would be happy to do it again e.g Autumn 2025. You don't owe her this. It's ok to say you have various other plans for places to go/people to go with and much as you love her It's too soon for you to go with her again this year. Arrange some nice days out together locally in the neantime.

It does make her friend a CF, though.

I'm talking about the more recent updates and what friend expects from the other person she requires to do all the organising for her next time. Fortunately OP has already told her it won't be happening.

@echt not being assertive over the finances is an issue for the OP. But it does not make her a carer.

You don't know how much research it took to find the right place - certainly more than the friend was willing to do, i.e. nothing. The OP's OP makes plain the detail required. She split costs on a taxi she would otherwise not have taken. She footed the bill for purchases.

In one way you're right, as a real carer would not have had to do this, they would have been paid.

@Catsmere Yes I have. All the OP added is that she did book travel assistance at the airport but struggled to keep up with the staff member while she carried bags. That she had to push her friend in a wheelchair as the travel assistance desk was a long way - would be interested to know which airport as they are normally just inside the entrance and they would normally send a member of staff if you need this extra help. And that the friend can not use computers so relied on her to book the trip.

OP does not have to go on holiday with anyone she does not want to. But those saying the friend needs a specialist disabled holiday or a carer on holiday are totally wrong. We have travelled with airport assistance and there are fellow passengers receiving assistance who are holidaying alone. Obviously the type of holiday you can have is affected, which is why the friend pays for taxis to places.

Loads of people travel abroad every year who can not walk that far. Very few would use a disabled holiday company because these are set up for people who need help to wash, dress, etc. The exception is disabled people who want to do very adventurous activities but need some extra support. For example canoeing down the amazon, but need extra help getting into a canoe and can not squat for the toilet or lie on beds at ground level. People simply unable to walk far may use a specialist disabled company for this type of holiday as ordinary adventurous companies assume you are totally fit and mobile. I know because my DH is disabled and we are considering this option for an adventurous holiday.

@NoisySnail have you read OP's latest updates? You're minimising what this friend expects OP and others to do for her.

@PorridgeEater that is for people with severe problems. The friend can walk, just not long distances, so uses taxis.
Those for people with disabilities offer carers to help with washing and dressing and other basic help. Since OP did not have to do this it sounds like the friend can do all of this.

There are holidays organised especially for people with mobility problems - couldn't your friend could try that? She might even find that a group like that would be helpful in finding ways to overcome issues.

You aren't obliged to arrange breaks to suit your friend and go on them with her - especially as they aren't really a break for you but a bit of a burden, both in the arranging and the outcome. However, I can see that it is a difficult situation for you as you don't want to disappoint or upset your friend.

As others have said, just tell her you have already made arrangements for your next two breaks, and that is your quota for this year. If you feel willing and able to go for a weekend/long weekend next year, or even a day trip, perhaps you could suggest that.

@BombBiggleton The OP is over dramatic. She has not been a carer. She booked a holiday in a resort, does not take much research. The friend does not use a wheelchair usually do only research around that is book a hotel with a lift.
She pushed a borrowed wheelchair through the airport - she did not need to, disability assistance at airport will do that. And she went to shops to buy snacks. That is it. That is not being a carer.

If she can use a computer for social media she can certainly use it for research and booking holidays. You're being guilt-tripped.

This. You have been kind, don’t be a mug.

Well done for saying no, OP! She really does expect her friends to be her PAs.

Does it occur to you that some of us are speaking from the experience of being our parents’ carers and this is why we were saying “Don’t do it, OP”?