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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving 13 year old at home with 3 year old for 2hours during the day

142 replies

youmeat6 · 19/04/2024 23:27

Well that, 13 year old is mature and can be trusted to stay home alone for a few hours, would it be unreasonable to leave the 3 year old with him for 2 hours? My parents live a few doors down.

Would like outside opinions.

OP posts:
Daisybuttercup12345 · 20/04/2024 01:04

Not a chance. Don't take risks like this.

LifeWithADHD · 20/04/2024 01:01

youmeat6 · 19/04/2024 23:31

My husband thinks it's ok, but I was iffy - it's doesn't feel right to me. I will take my 3 year old with me

Absolutely not a good idea. Say there was an accident like little one was choking … older dc wouldn’t know what to do.

13 is way too young to have that responsibility

redastherose · 20/04/2024 00:54

If the 13year old is responsible then yes, my 2 DD's have the same age gap an I did this at that age.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 20/04/2024 00:49

I wouldn't. Even the best behaved toddler can do something silly and potentially dangerous. It's not fair to expect a 13 year old to handle it.

Hankunamatata · 20/04/2024 00:47

I think it would be a no. Could grandparent come up or the two of them go down. You could pay 13 year old some money to babysit and entertain the 3 year old.

GreatGateauxsby · 20/04/2024 00:45

I am considered mega lax / 1980s negligent by my peer group of parent friends and even i wouldnt do this...

Even if their personalities mean it should be fine, dumb luck can create situations a 13 yo child just isnt equipped to deal with.

Splat92 · 20/04/2024 00:41

I would do it with my kids' personalities but I do think it is dependent on the children.

Queenfierce · 20/04/2024 00:40

No !!! Not ok at all do not do this!!

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 20/04/2024 00:38

Yes it it was a one-off or every now and again and you don't take the piss with it.

As a couple of pp above, I had to look after my younger siblings as a teen, from about 12 or so, and it was fine until my elder sibling had a baby and I was suddenly the family babysitter and hated it!

Willyoujustbequiet · 20/04/2024 00:35

No chance.

Completely unfair on your 13 year old. Leave the 3 year old with your parents.

SillyBiscuits · 20/04/2024 00:30

Daisy12Maisie · 20/04/2024 00:14

My sister is 11 years younger than me. I absolutely hated having to look after her and even now I think it was unreasonable that I was made to.

In my defence I wasn't allowed to discipline her at all so she just ran wild whilst I was responsible for her. I think it's neglect. Not a 13 year old doing it for 2 hours as a one off but if it's a regular thing I think it's neglect based on my experience. My sister has turned out great by the way despite the terrible and inappropriate babysitting. It's the impact on the older one not the younger one I think is bad if it's in a regular basis.

Came here to say exactly this.

I think a 13 year old is more than capable of minding a toddler for 2 hours, I’m actually surprised at how many posters have said hell no.

My issue comes in with the impact on the older sibling. I regularly babysat my young siblings as a teenager and I really resented it. Same scenario for me, GP a few doors down and DM only minutes away. Once my DM realised she had an extra pair of hands I was roped in to regular unpaid babysitting and made to feel like the kids were partly my responsibility. Felt very unfair at the time and even more so in hindsight.

Sometimeswinning · 20/04/2024 00:22

These threads always make me roll my eyes.
Aibu?
yes!
Ah it was dh’s idea. I didn’t really agree either but now a load of strangers have confirmed it I’m good with my choices.

Talk about throwing dh under the bus!

Daisy12Maisie · 20/04/2024 00:14

My sister is 11 years younger than me. I absolutely hated having to look after her and even now I think it was unreasonable that I was made to.

In my defence I wasn't allowed to discipline her at all so she just ran wild whilst I was responsible for her. I think it's neglect. Not a 13 year old doing it for 2 hours as a one off but if it's a regular thing I think it's neglect based on my experience. My sister has turned out great by the way despite the terrible and inappropriate babysitting. It's the impact on the older one not the younger one I think is bad if it's in a regular basis.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 20/04/2024 00:02

No I wouldn’t do this. Too much can go wrong.
I would leave a sensible 13 year old home alone for a couple of hours as long as they weren’t using the oven. I wouldn’t leave them in charge of a young child unless it was an emergency.

Flyhigher · 20/04/2024 00:02

No.

2chocolateoranges · 20/04/2024 00:01

Not a chance.

I’d leave the 13yr old on their own but it’s too much responsibility to look after a 3 yr old too.

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 19/04/2024 23:54

a youngster is able to work part time from the age of 13 and can take the babysitting course from the age of 14.

i don't see a reason why not, slightly early but if you say they are mature and know the toddler and that family is nearby worth a try.

Comfysock · 19/04/2024 23:43

Never in a million years

CHEESEY13 · 19/04/2024 23:42

A 13 year old may cope (just about) until.......the toddler generates an unforeseen emergency situation which requires an experienced adult thinking on their feet.

So, on balance, not a workable idea.

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 19/04/2024 23:36

Nope. Too much responsibility expected of the 13yo. Totally unfair

Original poster
youmeat6 · 19/04/2024 23:35

EconomyClassRockstar · 19/04/2024 23:33

It would entirely depend on the 13 yo and the 3 yo in question. A mature, sensible 13 yo with an "easy" 3yo and parents up the road? Yes. A 13 yo who would be on their phone/console while the 3 yo tore up the house? Nope.

13 year old is sensible, 3 year old is very well behaved and I would've been 2 minutes away. I won't be doing it, it doesn't sit right with me. Husband thought it would be ok

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 19/04/2024 23:35

My niece used to babysit mine at similar ages but at her house so her mum was there to intervene if necessary, but she was in charge of playing with them and keeping them entertained, could your daughter do that at the grandparents' house?

everydaywonderful · 19/04/2024 23:35

A child near us drowned a few weeks ago while in the care of a young teenage sibling. That child is gone forever and the sibling will never recover. They should not have been responsible.

nozbottheblue · 19/04/2024 23:34

...or a 3-yr-old tantrum? That's hard enough for an adult to cope with never mind a 13yr old. It's a no from this jury.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/04/2024 23:34

Why would you choose to leave them with the 13 yo rather than your parents?

There’s me debating if I can leave my 10 yo with my 15 yo!