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Original poster

Leaving 13 year old at home with 3 year old for 2hours during the day

142 replies

youmeat6 · 19/04/2024 23:27

Well that, 13 year old is mature and can be trusted to stay home alone for a few hours, would it be unreasonable to leave the 3 year old with him for 2 hours? My parents live a few doors down.

Would like outside opinions.

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 20/04/2024 17:26

I wonder why attitudes have changed so much in such a short space of time.

It was perfectly normal even in the noughties for 13 year olds to babysit - often for money too.

catgirl1976 · 20/04/2024 17:19

Absolutely not

Runnerinthenight · 20/04/2024 17:18

Natsku · 20/04/2024 15:55

I was babysitting other people's children at 13 - if the 13 year old is sensible, the 3 year old listens to them, and a parent can get back quickly if needed then I don't see why not. My DD is 13 now and is asking to babysit her 6 year old brother (because she wants to earn some money for her class trip next month) so we'll be going out for dinner some time soon to let her.

Just because you did it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Natsku · 20/04/2024 15:55

I was babysitting other people's children at 13 - if the 13 year old is sensible, the 3 year old listens to them, and a parent can get back quickly if needed then I don't see why not. My DD is 13 now and is asking to babysit her 6 year old brother (because she wants to earn some money for her class trip next month) so we'll be going out for dinner some time soon to let her.

Tomorrowtomorrow77 · 20/04/2024 15:45

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/04/2024 09:31

Well every potential issue is an incredibly high bar, there has to be some proportionality here. 2 hours during the daytime presumably does not involve bathing the 3 year old, nor cooking ( am making assumptions here). What is likely to go wrong ? A house fire ? most 13yos can use he phone. Some 13 and 14 yos do become mothers ( thankfully rarely) the idea that an NT 13yo cannot supervise a NT 3y ( presubaly verbal and toliet trained) for 2 hours in their own home seems extrodinary. The drowning incident was obviously tragic but difficult to see how that could occur in a domestic setting during the day ( a pond in the garden ??) when everyone was awake.

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Of course it’s high bar but so is every potential serious issue in life. It doesn’t mean you take the risk hoping it won’t happen. Why would you consider putting children at risk? I just cannot see the logic.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 20/04/2024 15:40

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:32

13 yo alone potentially

What do you mean, potentially? 😂

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It depends on the child - some 13 year olds are more capable/responsible/insert other relevant verbs than others.

walnutcoffeecake · 20/04/2024 14:32

Your the parent not the teenager.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 20/04/2024 12:42

I’m a hypocrite as I was babysitting babies and toddlers at that age.

but….. I’d not leave my kids with a 13 year old babysitter!

artfuldodgerjack · 20/04/2024 12:41

It very much depends on the child. I wouldn't worry about my dd13 looking after her younger cousin as I know she's sensible and can handle them.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:39

Babyroobs · 20/04/2024 11:28

Blimey when I was 14 I was looking after other people's kids for money.

Me too, though I appreciate things are different!

The people I babysat for were crazily casual, often no contact details and left me babysitting for far too long at one time.

Universalsnail · 20/04/2024 12:38

I think it's fine aslong as 13 year old is mature.
13 year old has a phone
Grandparents are in (because they live a few doors down) and able to come immediately if there is a problem.
and the rule is no eating for the 3 year old

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:38

Jesus Christ that's just nuts! Totally insane and no it doesn't depend on the dynamics of the the situation...

You're welcome to your opinion but I can assure you it really was fine.

It's also not out of the norm where I am - Dublin - and with people I know.

It really does depend on dynamics, relationships & roles (to an extent). Away from this point, it's why I won't leave my nearly 15 yo and nearly 13 yo together alone for very long - too much scope for stupid behaviour, whereas individually or with their older sibling alone, they are responsible & sensible.

Like I say, I'd be far more cautious about a 13 yo sibling with a 3 yo sibling.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:34

That’s shocking.

Don't be silly.

He was fine. Everyone was happy. There was plenty of back up (a secluded housing estate in Dublin with neighbours nearby)

I guess you have to know your children and the situation. As I said, I wouldn't be doing the same if they siblings, only because in your home comfort it's easier to be lax. He was doing a job & knew it.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:32

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 20/04/2024 07:38

13 year old alone - potentially.
13 year old with responsibility for 3 year old sibling - definitely not.

13 yo alone potentially

What do you mean, potentially? 😂

EarringsandLipstick · 20/04/2024 12:32

can't believe you were OK with your 13yo son being responsible for 3 under 6!!

I was! As was their mother.

Not quite under 6 (eldest was early 7) but yes, pretty much that!

He's reliable & focused, I'd be fine with him after cousins like this whereas as I said in my follow up post I would be less so if they were his own siblings.

There's just a different locus of concentration.

He did great

And although it's a long time ago now, I babysat from 12, including a baby. No-one would do that now, of course, and I was pretty ill-equipped to cope if there was a crisis. My own kids are far more aware & capable. And have access to a mobile phone & immediate contact with an adult.

liveforsummer · 20/04/2024 11:48

Christ no, and I'm the parent of an extremely responsible and great with kids dd14. Leave him on his own and send 3 yo to your parents down the road

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/04/2024 11:44

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/04/2024 11:35

Really how many NT 3 year olds choked to death last year ? Would you really disadvantage everybody because of a minscule chance of something going wrong ? Some people are so anxious it must be tough living in your heads.

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The ONS tells me about 1 a year age between 1 and 4 and IMO likely they had some form of SEN.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/04/2024 11:35

DrJoanAllenby · 20/04/2024 11:26

It most likely would be fine until it isn't.

If the younger child started choking on something the 13 year old, even with basic first aid training may panic or fail, leaving the younger child dead and the teenager scarred for life.

Saying that, I grew up in the 60s and 70s where this would have been normal.

Really how many NT 3 year olds choked to death last year ? Would you really disadvantage everybody because of a minscule chance of something going wrong ? Some people are so anxious it must be tough living in your heads.

FestivalFun · 20/04/2024 11:31

I did this, I paid my teenage to look after my toddler.
There were never any issues.

TheOriginalEmu · 20/04/2024 11:30

It depends on the 13 yo for me. At 13 I regularly babysat my 3 yo sister and other peoples kids for extra money. I was very sensible and there was always adults close by in case of a dire emergency.
my oldest at 13 I wouldn’t have left to babysit a cheese sandwich.

Babyroobs · 20/04/2024 11:28

Blimey when I was 14 I was looking after other people's kids for money.

DrJoanAllenby · 20/04/2024 11:26

It most likely would be fine until it isn't.

If the younger child started choking on something the 13 year old, even with basic first aid training may panic or fail, leaving the younger child dead and the teenager scarred for life.

Saying that, I grew up in the 60s and 70s where this would have been normal.

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 20/04/2024 11:11

I would say no. 2 hours is too long. Watching them while you nip to the corner shop for 10 minutes ok. But they need to be older and wiser for longer periods as more things can arise.

HcbSS · 20/04/2024 10:01

EconomyClassRockstar · 19/04/2024 23:33

It would entirely depend on the 13 yo and the 3 yo in question. A mature, sensible 13 yo with an "easy" 3yo and parents up the road? Yes. A 13 yo who would be on their phone/console while the 3 yo tore up the house? Nope.

This