Boyfriend wants to start using condoms again

Imagine living big with that level of suspicion about your partner!

Why doesn't Op get sterilised, she's sure she doesn't want a baby.

Currently 6 months pregnant at 39 thanks to the withdrawal method! We knew we were taking a risk and open to a pregnancy, though I was absolutely certain it wouldn't happen without trying at my age. Your boyfriend is correct!

I'm stunned how many people are surprised OP's partner was worrying about how to prevent pregnancy during sex!!! If withdrawal is part of the current contraception plan it is literally his job to concentrate on not getting OP pregnant during sex. Between having to time pulling out, and just general worry that this may be the time the odds catch up with you both... I would definitely be all in my head and not enjoying sex or 'living in the moment', so it makes sense he's suggesting a way to make that better.

I should add... the rhythm method and withdrawal method are two different things!

Good for him

I'm surprised how many people think the rhythm method isn't a valid form of contraception! There seems to be a lot of ignorance around it. I've used this method of contraception for over a decade and only been pregnant when had unprotected sex during ovulation. However, we always used condoms until my fertile window was over not the withdrawal method.

I got told my chances of conceiving were zero at 40, we had been trying ever since ds was born, I had all the tests & scans & was told my tubes were blocked. Split from my husband & got with new partner, got pregnant within 3 months, I sadly miscarried at 16 weeks, but it is possible.

I don't disagree. But, it also speaks to how he views the permanence of his relationship. How many times have we seen/been the one whose partner gets someone else pregnant and leaves, or leaves and goes on to another relationship then decided she's the one to have kids with?

Given how/where he made the announcement, I think someone he knows is facing impending unwanted fatherhood.

Whether that is from a genuine reliance on FAM/rhythm, their partner being 'infertile' or being 'tricked' by someone not taking the contraceptive pill as directed (deliberately or otherwise).

In any event, he's now made a smart decision i.e. relying on himself to take responsibility to prevent pregnancy rather than rely on anyone else to do so.

Nah. Men don't want their "manhoods" tampered with .

Your boyfriend is very sensible for wanting to use condoms. The pull out method is not fully reliable.

However, I suspect his true reason for wanting to use condoms is because he wants to finish inside.

If you want to use the rhythm method, please use fertility tracking technology. There are gadgets that measure and track your temperature so that you can reliably tell when you're ovulating and fertile, and increases the rhythm method success rate from 80% to 99.9% reliable if followed correctly.

Or perhaps he has developed “pro-life” beliefs and feels he cannot support an abortion but does not want children either.

Not my position but just exploring why he might have asked for condoms hypothetically.

Every time I hear about a guy not wanting children, but refusing a vasectomy, I always think he's keeping his options open.

Bloody hell, I should think so too. The rhythm method is absolute madness if you don't want kids.
You should know it doesn't work.
Are you trying to get pregnant accidentally on purpose because it sure sounds like it?

I think, just to be on the safe side, get an STI check. It’s a bit odd that he’s suddenly concerned by this. Your intuition has alerted you because everything considered, this is very unusual to you.

Has he ever expressed interest in getting a vasectomy? If he doesn’t want children, it seems like the most sensible option.

Separately, there is risk involved in your contraceptive method but with pull-out plus rhythm method, I think you’re unlikely to get pregnant with a partner who has never mistimed pulling out. It’s the men who tend to make mistakes here who increase the stated risk of pregnancy with this method. Other forms of contraception fail too. However, agreed that one must accept the risk with this method though.

Women can be very fertile at your age, I was, but I wanted to have babies.
Anecdotally, one often hears of couples nowadays and from pre IVF days who've not been able to conceive for ten + years of being a couple and then, suddenly in their late thirties/forties - it happens! Which is amazing if its what you want...

The running joke in many medical circles is that the correct term for those who rely on the withdrawal method of birth control is "parents." You have been remarkably fortunate thus far. Small amounts of semen are released before a man is aware that orgasm is imminent. There are more than enough sperm there to make you pregnant.

Personally, I'm amazed that your boyfriend is actually being proactive in birth control. Most are happy to leave it all up to the woman.

You're one of them! It's so risky!

Ah, yes! That’s probably it. I’m tired!😂

Probably because he wants to "cum inside" safely and not be dissatisfied with pulling out. It's not exactly intimate and enjoyable if you can't relax because you're concentrating on pulling out I bet.

I mean, I agree with the general consensus that he’s sensible. The only thing that has my alarms ringjng is why now?

If you are both sure, I would consider asking him to get a vasectomy, more reliable than condoms, cheaper… more enjoyable

I think he's very sensible

100% this.

He is being very responsible .

A vasectomy would be better though- or sterilisation for women.

I mean, she's not, but you're correct, contraception is advisable.