Boyfriend wants to start using condoms again

Monitor the mucus?
Are we into retro contraception now? Knicker Gazing - Last quoted 1975.

Absolutely this.

Let me offer you some perspective. A relative of mine uses the rhythm method for religious reasons. They have eight children, five of whom are 'accidents'.

Your boyfriend is being sensible. You are really lucky not to have fallen pregnant by now.

I had fertility issues and got pregnant at 41.

I know that there are plenty of reasons to be suspicious of men, especially if you read many of the threads on here, but come on, it must take some mental gymnastics to construe his actions as being weird or dodgy, without any more info than we have.

*It's not weird that neither of them wants surgery to prevent pregnancy, and they prefer to use other means to prevent it.

*They have chosen probably the least effective one, but a poor decision doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of commitment.

*It's not weird that he got to the point in the middle of sex to raise it - when else would it be more in the forefront of his mind? Especially as 1) he'd be actively thinking about what he needs to be doing to keep things safe, and 2) presumably this was a joint decision between them and he's been thinking about how to raise it - it didn't just pop into his head in the moment.

Yes, any of us could think of a hundred scenarios where his intentions might be dodgy, but there's literally no evidence for any of them. Indeed, I could invent a story where he's found out that the OP might be cheating and is worried about catching something from her. Horrible, with absolutely no evidence to think it, right? Yep, but no less likely from the info we have.

The absolute most likely truth is that it's been on his mind for a while, based on the weakness in their current method, and it's "come to a head" during sex and he's finally got to the point of mentioning it. He's suggested an alternative, taking responsibility, and should be somewhat respected for that.

You're understanding the stats wrong. The stats are to do with using this method for a whole year, 85%-98% of couples using condoms for a year don't get pregnant.

Used properly condoms are very effective - the high failure rate is to do with not using them properly.

For him it might be more enjoyable to "complete" without pulling out first so using a condom is the way to do that without risking pregnancy. I think good on him for trying to take into account the risk and find a better solution that maybe allows him to enjoy it more

Fair point.

I imagine he's a bit fed up of having to always pull out and not just be able to fully enjoy the moment (as it were)?

It's not wierd at all, he may change his mind as he gets older so doesn't want a more permanent solution, he sounds sensible tbh

He seems sensible. He's probably read or heard stories about accidental pregnancies. If you get pregnant he doesn't get a choice from that point, he can't force you to get a termination. So he's taking control and preventing a pregnancy he doesn't want rather than trusting you to take sole charge of his future.

He's right, your chosen method has a higher failure rate than any other, it's amazing you've not fallen pregnant already. Condom's aren't 100% but they are better than withdrawal alone, good on him for taking responsibility. If you really don't want kids you should also take the pill.

I got my son using that method, so I'd say he's being sensible 😂

If he doesn't want a child, he's being sensible to use an actual method of contraception.

Lots of posts on here by surprised women who thought this was a reliable method then found themselves pregnant. Then they'll argue that it had always worked for them - of course until it didn't! Good on your bf. It's only a suitable method if it wouldn't matter if you did end up pregnant

Mention of the rhythm method always made my obstetrician smile. A couple of year later when I was trying to conceive I dutifully tracked my temperature which stayed completely steady, used two ovulator predictor kits to cover even remotely possible days when it might happen and was then scanned by a fertility specialist who pointed out that he could see the egg that was ready to go but had failed to launch. He confidently told me that I wasn't ovulating, had likely always had the problem and it had been a fluke I got pregnant in two weeks with my first. I got a positive pregnancy test two days later despite the missing egg. I was in my mid to late thirties at the time. Tracing my family tree showed a very strong history of twins which was probably not a coincidence. I think the obstetrician was absolutely right.

That isn't what that means at all.

It's weird for OP to not want children and she doesn't want to be sterilised!

So he's in the middle of sex and again concentrating on withdrawing, so not fully relaxed and it comes into his head, I can relax more if you used a condom and says it at that time? Hardly odd!

Come on you're trying to say he's a man so it must be first nefarious reasons he wants to improve the contraception, using one of very few methods available to a man.

Yet, OP has more choice and doesn't want children and that's fine for her to use none them.

Sone women on MN want to blame a man for everything, even taking more control over their own contraceptive choices.

^He's already explained why!

It's in the OP.^

Well I guess, but bringing it up in the middle of sex is weird. And he doesn't want to have a vasectomy, which is also a little weird for someone who is adamant he doesn't want children.

He's already explained why!

It's in the OP.

There isn't much understanding of Natural Family Planning/rhythm method on MN, but your current contraception plan (charting temp, cervical mucus AND withdrawal) is very solid.

It's 91-99% effective according to the NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/natural-family-planning/ And you're adding in withdrawal too.

I think it's unusual that someone would want to start using condoms suddenly after that long, and I'd want to delve more into why.

Well if you do not want children you should be thankful he is being responsible but weird you did not discuss this before you were in the middle of sex.

OP. YABD. You are being daft!

Luck rather than the method I suspect!

I am a woman who absolutely doesn't want children. I still don't get strlerilised because I don't want unnecessary surgery even if it's a small surgery nowadays.
We have shedload of other options. I am not keeping open options. I just don't want scalpel near me and risk issues unless necessary🤷
People here act like vasectomy has no risks at all