Boyfriend wants to start using condoms again

Sounds like he just wants to enjoy his orgasm and not have to interrupt it by pulling out everytime
Although sex forever with condoms is a sure way to the the relationship

The problem with women getting sterilised because pregnancy would be really dangerous is that standard sterilisation isn't as effective as vasectomy or the coil. It's good enough if you can use abortion as a backup, but if you weren't able to for some reason then it's a slightly risky option.

i believe that sterilisation is not done as easily now as it used to be, and it is normally only offered to those already with children, over a certain age and with a medical reason for doing it.

i was sterlised about 15 years ago, my case was the very last case before it had to go to a panel.

i was allowed it, i had 2 very difficult pregnancies which were life threatening and i was advised to have no more children, my husband initally had the snip but our marrigate broke down so back in the dating pool contraception had to be considered. at that point i was allergic to latex, and i could not use any of the pills or coils due to allergies.... so i was sterilised...

i was very lucky.. the only way you would get it done nowadays without question on an unmarried childless person you would need a serious medical condition for it to be considered

Being sterilised isn't actually difficult anymore it's done via keyhole surgery and as long as no complications you are home the same day... I was sterilised 11 years ago and from getting to hospital to going home was 4 hours

The reasoning is fairly straightforward.
Shagging as usual, crossing your fingers and hoping for the best has an annual failure rate of 80%
Withdrawal method has an annual failure rate of about 20%-25% (hence a lot better than nothing but not great)
Rhythm method also has an annual typical use failure rate of about 25%

So the failure rate of both combined should, by very crude theoretical statistics, be 25%x25% = 6.25%

Condoms alone have a typical use failure rate of 18% (figures vary but this is the NHS one). Hence the OP's choice is safer.

But that ignores the fact that the failure rate of 2 methods combined won't be AxB in practice for various practical reasons.
And also that the OP and BF, as a sensible mature long term couple who've been successfully using withdrawal for 4 years, will probably have an actual failure probability much closer to the perfect use figure of 2% than the "typical use" 18% figure which includes drunk teenagers and people who aren't well motivated to be consistent in condom use.

https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/choosing-contraception/how-well-it-works-at-preventing-pregnancy/

We've done this for 12 years and the only time I've got pregnant is with my one child, on purpose, after a year of trying. Withdrawal/tracking before and since. I suspect we are not very fertile!

Some of the posts on this thread are vile. MN at its worst.

Nah, he thinks OP is playing around and doesn't want to catch anything from her.

Imagine living in that mind......

It must be exhausting.

How do you come to that idea?

You were daft for using that method in the first place.
Either he's decided he really doesn't want children at all and has woken up to the fact it's an unreliable method
or he's cheated and is worried he has caught an STD (or has caught one) and needs to wear condoms so that you don't catch it from him and find out he's a cheat.

Sounds like he grew up.

He’s worried about passing STD’s onto you. I expect it only occurred to him whilst he was having sex with you. He’s having unprotected sex with someone else.

I actually think your current method is more effective than condoms alone. To be extra safe maybe condoms and NFP combined instead of withdrawal/NFP.

Oh so true!

Man won't use condoms - LTB

Man want's to use condoms - he's cheating or got an STI - LTB

I completely agree!

And if she got pregnant everyone would be saying he should have worn a condom.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than pulling out every time just at the best bit (and I’m not even a man).

Perhaps he wants to just have normal sex and not have to worry about pre-cum or accidentally getting too carried away and not pulling out quick enough.
He’s probably never fully relaxed and therefore never fully enjoyed the sex as much as he could have before.
So I don’t blame him at all.

He could also have friends who are getting pregnant and it’s made him realise how you’ve both been very lucky so far and it’s not worth the risk.

Sorry if I’ve missed it but why not go on the pill?
I did get pregnant on the pill so it’s not 100% but it’s still better than having to pull out or using condoms which are expensive.
The pill is not suitable for everyone though.

Poor Bloke! 4 years of never finishing inside. Well never finishing.
Has OP never felt the vibration of a proper finish? She wont get that fully from condoms either.
Have they missed out all their lives so far?

In terms of his timing…. I think he likely doesn’t want to pull out and concentrating on that may have been impacting on his enjoyment?

he is being sensible. I’d never rely on that method of contraception.

My nearly 7 year old is a product of the pulling out method. It doesn't work op!

Good on him for wanting to be extra cautious I say!

I think you've not been paying attention for the last fifty years.

Fertility Awareness Method (or whatever name it's going by at the moment) has gone through waves of popularity for decades, nowadays often publicised by social media, or monetised in the form of apps or testing kits (with a modern "wellness" spin).

It's often had its accuracy seriously oversold to statistically naive punters, and as pp have pointed out it's asking for trouble as you approach perimenopause, but it's certainly not a thing of the past.

Only on Mumsnet can a man wanting to use a reliable form of contraception mean he’s cheating/commitment phobic.

🤣 LOL. Pulling out is not a method of contraception!

I’m not sure rhythm method plus withdrawal is as unreliable as other posters make out. Withdrawal alone, quite possibly, but rhythm method used responsibly plus withdrawal is much safer than just ‘pulling out’. Obviously condoms on top, even more reliable!

Do you think you can only get pregnant when he ejaculated at the end? Think you need abit of education from books or dr. Seen leaks thr whole time which means you can get pregnant anytime. You've just been lucky so far