AIBU to think that a dog is too much commitment?

Do not get a dog OP, you aren't depriving your DCs of anything and as you say you visit relatives a month a year so it would be a major faff.

We got a dog 6 years ago as DH was allegedly desperate for one and as DS is an only I thought it was the right thing to do. Rookiedog is a lovely creature but guess who organises dog care when we go away, and our house will never be properly clean. I still really resent DH for making such a momentous decision and we are definitely not getting another one.

Well here is your answer and the reason why you shouldn’t get a dog . Eventually most dogs end up with additional needs and if you aren’t up for that then no is the right answer . Our much loved dog is nearly 14 , has extensive medical issues and although he still eats , is continent , loves a run etc about 3 nights a week he has me up and down the stairs a few times before he finally settles , other nights he is fine . You could look into fostering an in training guide dog if you have a centre nearby as that’s basically an overnight and weekend commitment.

Don't do it, OP. I am a similar age to you with a 9-year-old dog and I will not be getting another one. Yes, it has been lovely having her in our lives but as PPs have said, the work, expense, and hassle are immense, and it does limit your freedom to travel and have days out. Put it this way.....do you have a spare hour in your day at the moment? Because the dog will take up AT LEAST an hour, even once they are adult and settled. A puppy will be a huge stress. Rescue dogs often have lifelong issues that limit whether you can leave them/let them off the lead/have them around other people and dogs. If you have some ongoing problems with depression and anxiety then you absolutely need to put yourself first! I hear what you are saying about DD, but the last thing she needs is a mum who is at the end of her tether, especially as she heads into her own teen years.

I’ve had a dog for 12 years now and there’s positives and negatives but it’s such a big commitment. If you are unsure then don’t do it.

In future if I ever get another I’ll be getting a senior dog, 8 years plus so it’s not as much of a long term commitment as a puppy. Just a nice retirement home for a little pooch. As the previous posters says, any puppy will be an old dog one day so if you don’t want to deal with that then don’t get a dog.

Darn. I was about to see if you wanted to borrow mine for a few days to see how you get on, but he is a lab. He isn't that smelly, but boy does he shed.

I would feel the same as you, @bamboozlette , I wouldn't want to take on another dependant just when I was getting more time back for myself. As someone else said, dogs are like children that never grow up.

I think you need to be clear about this with your daughter though, and let her know you definitely won't be getting a dog, no matter how much she pleads. It really won't be her having to take on the responsibility.

Telling you something!

Even if you got a puppy, at one point it will be an elderly dog. If you think now you can't handle it, don't even consider it.

If your discounting breeds because of a long life span that is feeling you something surely? It's not something to go into wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Imagine how much of a commitment you think it might be and then times it by ten and you're about half way there.

Unfortunately this can happen at any age too. Ours is 6 and has arthritis, as well as food allergies. He costs us nearly £175 a month for medication, special food and insurance

That might be what you have to deal with in 15 years time!

I am not a dog person, but I relented and now we have a lovely dog. But last year she was really unwell, vomiting and diarrhoea every day for about 3 weeks, numerous visits to the vet, lost 3 kilos - about 25% if her body weight, honestly thought she was on the way out. Her recovery was very slow - took about 3 months in total and it's only the fact that I WFH in a job with very flexible hours that got her through. I was able to feed her every hour, let her out every hour, cuddle her when she was feeling very unwell etc. Every day revolved around getting the dog to eat and not be sick.

If she had been left for long periods each day if we both worked out of the home, then I think the outcome might have been very different.

Dogs are more of a tie than children, and I do get annoyed that we can't be spontaneous and go away for a weekend at short notice etc. as we have to get the dog sorted.

I love her to bits, and was distraught when she was so unwell. But would I get another one? NO!

Honestly, stand firm OP. My kids begged for a dog for years and years, we finally gave in and within about two weeks, they had got bored of the annoying bitey puppy who took all the attention and was hard work and shitty and frankly tedious.

Love our dog but it’s me and DP who walk him in the hideous weather, pay his extortionate expenses, food, insurance gah. And it’s restricted us for holidays, socialising, you name it.

The other day, DD who is now 17 said the experience of getting a dog had confirmed for her that when she’s older she won’t be getting a dog.

Get a cat. Much easier.

You're making valid points and being very sensible.

We got ours before we had DC and knew that would likely take us through until DC being teens. At that point we said at the time we won't be getting another because that'll be our time to enjoy with fewer commitments, especially once DC go to university or move out.

Lots of dog threads seem to boil down to man and kids wanting a dog, with mum left knowing she'll be the one doing most of the walks, admin, responsibility.

Gently, OP. If you have a health condition that leaves you exhausted and your DH works long hours...then you cannot get a dog. You cannot be sure that the dog will get the attention/exercise/stimulation it needs. Yes, things happen in the future but you know already that you're going to struggle...

I'd also caution against thinking a smaller dog is less high maintenance/energy.

TBH kids wants/views should come last when deciding if a pet is a right choice - they rarely do anything to help with training/walking/mental stimulation. They don't pay for vets bills or food or insurance. They literally just cuddle them.

I was desperate for a dog as a child and teenager. Never got one. I got my first dog a few years ago at the age of 30 and it was hard. If she wants a dog that desperately she can wait until she's an adult and get her own. It really doesn't sound like you want a dog enough, or are really prepared for it. Some people seem to get easy dogs, but other people make it look easy by being poor dog owners and not truly meeting their dog's needs.

What about a cat for your DD instead? They bring so much love but much less of an imposition on your life.

This is also me.

I’d say absolutely don’t get one. We always had dogs, our last dog was getting old when we were in our late forties so we got a puppy to ‘keep her company’. Such a bad move. Although we loved the dog immensely, she was a 14 year commitment. It was like having a perpetual toddler. Meant we couldn’t do anything spontaneously because of the dog. Couldn’t nip off for the weekend, because of the dog. Could not leave the house for too long, because of the dog. Vets bills spiralled, the carpet was always dirty, furniture wasn’t worth replacing, because of the dog. When she finally died a happy, much loved old dog I breathed a sigh of relief (along with many tears). Life is so much easier now.

Yeah to be honest, the kids wanted a dog, my DH has always lived with dogs from a child, I knew a dog would be a huge commitment, and he has brought so much love into their lives ( which I also knew) but what I didn't appreciate was how much I would love him and worry about him. I worry about his food, whether he is eating enough, whether he has a limp, whether his bowels are working properly, whether hes not himself etc. its worse than kids because at least they can tell you if they are ill or where it hurts. He has brought so much joy into our lives, but frankly, we were fine before. If we had never had a dog, we would never had known what having a dog was like. I'm also dreading the day he goes over the Rainbow Bridge ( and hes only 6!) and I wont be getting another dog. Just be warned about the fostering. that's what we decided to do-5 years later...

Look at https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/

i think with all the things you’ve written about a permanent dog isn’t for you. And you’re very sensible not to be talked into it, too many end up in rescue centres.

You are absolutely not unreasonable OP.

How about offering to dog sit for some of your friends who have dogs? It sounds like you’d be happy to have a dog in your life some of the time, and there are plenty of ways to achieve that without having one of your own.

Why doesn't your husband take the children to an animal shelter at the weekend and ask what help can they give by way of dog walking etc

You'll get a break and they'll have their dog 'fix'.

Some places might not allow children to help.

💯 agree OP. I can’t be bothered with the commitment either. I had a pet rock whose eye fell off, that’s how good I am at looking after things 😜