AIBU to think that a dog is too much commitment?

The more you write about dogs @bamboozlette the more I think you really, really, really shouldn't get one.

I have at least 4 friends who do the gushy media posts about their dogs and then have privately admitted to me that they regret ever getting a dog and would never do it again. Our teen DS nags constantly for a dog - it’s a hard no. Far too much commitment and expense.

You could foster a guide dog for a few months OP. You'll get a lovely Labrador or Golden Retriever with zero long term commitment.

I would absolutely put your foot down on this OP- if 90% of the burden will fall on you, I think it's fair that you get to veto this. I wouldn't recommend that anyone get a dog if they aren't 100% on board with idea.

I love my dog and think she is wonderful, but I miss being able to travel on a whim. Unfortunately, although she was young and healthy when we adopted her, she has developed a significant life-long health condition that makes it much more difficult to find dog care, so this can be very limiting and needs booking well in advance.

YANBU

I have a horse but I don't have a dog (much as I Iove them) because they are such a huge commitment. Don't do it unless you are sure.

I waited until dd was 12yo before getting a dog.

For me the pros outweigh the cons but we've been lucky us our dog has been easy to train and we've not had any major issues.

Pros
Bought dd and I closer
He's bought us both lots of joy and love, every day he does something that makes me smile
Exercise- I walk loads now
Gets us out and about, we've found loads of lovely dog friendly places

Cons
He is a tie, we can't plan anything without considering what we're going to do with him.

I hate responsibility.
Dogs are a lot of responsibility has is children and partners.
Plus the cost.
So i have neither.

@bamboozlette The problem is we won't know if we enjoy it until we try

One way to see how much you will enjoy it is to start taking walks every day. At least twice a day for at least 45 minutes each time. Whatever the weather - pouring rain, howling wind, hail, snow. Fit it in before and after work, when you're hungry and have other commitments, when you don't feel 100% and have a to do list a mile long. Keep doing it.

If you're not already doing that through choice and for fun, you're why are you going to start enjoying it because you have a dog?

Lots of people get dogs to 'get them out walking' but it can quickly become a proper grind if you're not a happy willing walker.

People make it work because they really want a dog.

if you don’t feel that strongly about having one, the hassle isn’t worth it.

Trust your gut, you don’t want to look after a dog. Your grown up children can lumber themselves with a dog when they get their own homes. Look forward to your well earned retirement travelling the world. The planet does not need to support another dog. Just because you’re a woman does not mean you have to look after others for your entire freaking life.

Poodles are clever and need stimulation. I'd get an older rescue dog who is less likely to need long daily walks of you are worried you may need a day off here and there. It's not ideal for the dog but it's actually good you are being realistic about responsibility. I have a dog and get out for 2hrs a day (young active dog) and I can advocate for how dogs can be life changing for your health and mental health if you have the time to put into them. If you work full time and are juggling 3 kids I can see that isn't always possible. I think you aging is actually a pro to get a dog as it will keep you active, but not a puppy or dog under 5.

If you really don't want a dog op you need to be very clear with your dc, otherwise they will keep hoping and nagging at you. Tell them it is 100% not happening, they will get over it. Would they accept a cat as a pet? We always had dogs but adopted a cat a couple of years ago and we all love her to bits. Still a commitment but not in the same league as a dog imo.

This reminds me of the smartphone business… “but everyone else has one”. I am astonished by how so many people have dogs. But not everybody has one. Trust your instinct!

Oh this thread resonates so much! I have sometimes felt guilty of denying my children the experience of having a dog, especially my youngest as it would make them so happy. Both parents have had dogs growing up but don’t really want the commitment now on top of everything else. I can see how ‘my’ dogs were really looked after by my parents and when the first one died is the only time I have ever seen my dad cry. Our get out clause is that daddy is allergic (only to some dogs/breeds but we are not sure which). But there is so much more than that: time for the dog with kids at school and parents working, then having to walk it several times a day every day in all weathers, dark cold wet and windy winter nights and early mornings. Who has time in the morning anyway! Not to mention the poo. Then there’s the cleaning, dog hair everywhere with some breeds, muddy paws, the smell, the expense of food, vet, insurance. We also travel a fair bit so that’s an added hassle. I say to my children that when they grow up and they have their own home they can get a pet. I hope it is not cold hearted and they don’t suffer any lasting damage from being pet deprived!

This would be a great thing to do.

Do you want to pick up s**t for years? You will be the one cleaning the garden.

As others have said, I love my dog more than life itself, he is a joy to my life, makes me laugh and he loves me unconditionally. He gives me light when I feel unappreciated by my 5 children and feel like everything is a bit pointless. He gives me purpose and I would spend my last penny to care for him. He has never even growled at another dog, is a cheery chap who is well socialised and well behaved at home. He makes me feel safe as he has a seriously scary bark!
BUT - he costs me an absolute fortune which I struggle to afford, I have dog walkers 3x a week and he is 40kg so eats alot!
Definitely do not get a dog just for your children. You have to want a dog even more than your kids for you to even contemplate getting one and even then add on a bit more desire before you get one!

Thank you. ❤️

@bamboozlette I’ve been away with my daughter but my husband stays home or our adult son lives in . It works for us . Many people happily board their dogs though and there’s nothing wrong with that . I just don’t trust anyone else with mine 😀

Nah and certainly not a poodle, they are super smart, super high maintenance... im a behaviourist trainer who works from home, doing nothing but dog related stuff and I wouldn't have a poodle.

If you want a doggy fix without the life time commitment, you could see about fostering for rescues.

I will caveat this - be careful WHICH rescues. Good ones will give you as much history as they can, contribute to food and pay vet bills, honour your holiday commitments and move the dog swiftly if there is a problem.

Shit rescues will dump you with a dog with issues and be gone into the fucking distant sunset in a cloud of dust.

I have worked with Irish Retriever Rescue in the past (as a trainer) and they seem to treat their fosterers extremely well and are actively looking for fosters, if you like Golden retrievers of course (pretty good dogs but may be on the big side for you!).

Sorry for your loss 💐

I agree with you on everything. We had to put our 13-year old little girl down a couple of days ago. I never in my life thought I would be this sad, because of a dog. The heartache. We will not get another dog. Even our 15-year old cat is grieving, calling and looking for her night and day.