AIBU to think that a dog is too much commitment?

Op I agree with pps that you definitely shouldn't get a dog. It sounds like you really dislike dogs in general, you should have just been upfront with your family from the beginning though.

I wouldn't get one if I could go back in time. I love the wee thing but when I arrive in the car after work sometimes I don't want to go inside. I am his person so he waits for me all day (husband is home with him) and when I walk in the door he feels like his day begins. I am so tired and drained but he wants attention and fuss then play then needs walked. It's a lot.

Yes, sometimes. My lovely boy made it to 15 1/2 but there is no getting round the fact you live your life around a dog. Got him after pleading from daughter, waited too long, she was 14. I have always worked full time in a full on job. We thought we could juggle the walks with some help from friends. Within 2 years daughter was unexpectedly at 6th form college and gone for 10 hrs a day. We paid hundreds of pounds a month to the dog walker for walks and day care. Every outing planned, every holiday dog cover carefully booked. I loved him to bits but 2 hrs of walking every day in the winter was challenging and meant everything was planned around the walking.
If I'd known, I probably wouldn't have.

I wouldn’t OP and I wouldn’t worry about feeling your kids are missing out, they will
lose interest and it will all be left to you. I get nagged about a dog too but it’s a hard no, I don’t mind my friends dogs when I’m at theirs but wouldn’t want one in my house, hair, mess, accidents. The lack of spontaneity, walking before and after work when I have limited time as is and a DH who works away 90% of the time and the biggest put off picking up steaming turds for 10+ years 🤮. People treating their dogs are fur babies give me the ick and realistically if there were more strict rules around dog ownership and criteria to meet most dog owners wouldn’t be allowed one

The way we treat our pets these days has really changed and it is now much more work and more expensive especially if you don't want to be judged as a bad dog owner. Low betide anyone who doesn't take their dog for walks three hours a day, leaves them for more than one hour on their own or doesn't go ahead with every medical intervention their vet can come up with.

Well, it's a bit like having a baby/child/teen. Immensely stressful but deeply fulfilling. But stressful and fulfilling in different ways than kids.
My dog is a lot of work, money, time. The children do very little although DD wanted him (he was a 17th birthday "wish" for her). I absolutely adore him and he gives me and the grownup children incredible satisfaction. He is a member of our household, without him we would be diminished.
And he keeps me fit and happy, walks x 2 beat depression.
But a toy poodle is not a good choice for a laid back dog.!!!!

Couldn’t agree more! I love walking friends’ dogs but know very well that my lifestyle and job would not allow me to give a dog the full attention and love it deserves. It would be totally selfish and unfair of us to get a dog. That’s the very reverse of disdain for dogs.

@Marbledleaves678 I don't think her language shows any kind of love and care, to be honest.

I agree more people should do their research but I don't think OP sounds like someone who should even be considering dog ownership. There's no warmth or anything in what she says.

Exactly! He’s great with dogs and we’ve told him he needs to wait until he has his own place and then get one. Like many PPs our plans for retirement involve spontaneity and travel - not things that dog ownership allows!

I actually think the reverse. That op is showing her love and respect for the animal with her worries that they wouldn’t collectively as a family be able to give it the best life; or giving it the best life will all fall to her, and she is wary of making that huge commitment.

I wish more people would give dog-ownership the same thought and consideration.

So many people are selfish and compromise on their dog’s welfare by only looking at the pleasure a dog brings to them, without considering the reverse. You only have to read the threads on here about dogs not being walked every day. For an animal which is led by its nose, that must be tantamount to imprisonment.

Op, if you travel abroad frequently to see family, then I do not think you are being unreasonable at all.

The hardest part of dog ownership for us is not just finding dog sitters (and very, very occasionally dog walkers) but good, trustworthy ones. Tbh we have given up trying now our eldest dog is thirteen years old, and we just don’t go away anymore, as we would be too concerned about the stress it would cause him.

I haven't read the full thread

We got our dog 4.5 years ago 6 months before lock down..

We spend about £750 -800 a month on him. Dog walker x3 a week doggy daycare x2 a week insurance food and miscellaneous..

Many will say don't bother about the dog walker doggy day care. However dh work is erratic sometimes he could manage a walk mid day other days he would be out all day. I'm out 7 30 -4. I dont want to have to straight out for a walk. So we threw money at that problem and it works well but costs.

The kids are/were amazing with him (age 20 and up) and still happily walk him when they are home but reality is only 1 is still at home and she is hoping to go within the next year too. Dh has some health issues so struggles with long walks but does do the morning Saturday Sunday walk in the local park with great enjoyment. I do longer walks and all the cleaning. (Basset hound they shed)

However Going back knowing what I do now I would 100% get him again. He enriches our lives and is the funniest cuddles most adorable dog ever. I just love him.

When he goes. I doubt we will get another.

Do I regret it? Not one bit.

Is it hard work and costly. Ohh yes..

For you OP have you considered borrow my doggy? And getting a regular agreement that way?

@inthekyoo so sorry for your loss.

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m sure you miss her terribly.

My youngest dog is 5yo, I got him when I was 43 knowing he would be my last puppy. If he lives his life span I’ll be losing him when I’m around 60 at which point I won’t want the commitment or ties.

I think it is definitely sensible to look ahead when it comes to animal life spans. My elderly dog is 15 this year and she has got more health concerns now.

My dog sadly died a couple of days ago, but she would always sit next to me. It’s empty now. My cats sits on dh. Like he’s an armchair. He hated cats but 8-year old dd was persistant. Dd has moved out and the cat is now nearly 16. Dh loves that cat more than anything.

Funnily enough the dogs will only sit with me on the sofa which annoys dh and the kids hugely. They know who takes care of them!!!
Unfortunately the cat treats me with the same disdain she does everyone else!!

I’m sorry but your post put a smile on my face. I can picture you talking loud to your now two best friends, the dog and the cat. 😂 It’s the three of you now.

Edit; Oh I see now that you wrote dogs. Not just one dog. 😅

YANBU and I say that as a dog lover and former owner. They are just too much of a tie. People talk about the puppy stage being hard, but the elderly stage can be hard too even when they have a fair quality of life.

We have dogs. I was worn down by the begging, pleading and promises to help. The dogs are now mine only!! The kids occasionally walk or feed them but I do the bulk, and I do all of the vacuuming and cleaning and washing that they generate. Dh thinks walking them once or twice a week and feeding them when he’s up/home first is half the work but he is also of the opinion that a walk every few days is sufficient as we have a large secure garden whereas I think that twice daily walking is essential. I now just crack on with it all.

Dd begged for a cat. She’s a teen now and promised to do everything for the cat. It turns out by ‘everything’ she meant stroking and cuddling and I now have another pet to vacuum after and feed. When I mentioned that ‘everything’ included the litter tray dd had an absolute meltdown and said that I was cruel for even bringing that up when she does ‘everything else’. So I haven’t raised it since and just ensure the bloody cat is fed, watered and taken care of.

I actually love the pets and I can’t say that I necessarily regret getting them but it’s been really hard going at times and has increased my workload massively. The dogs are now elderly so we’re focused on enjoying their final years but the cat is only 2 and is a house cat so she’ll be with us for many years yet. I can say that I definitely won’t have any more pets in the future and I do regret allowing myself to be bullied into it without establishing clear agreement/expectations of who does what and when.

I think you're right not to do it if you're not 100% in.
Poodles (both toy and standard) are very intelligent dogs and need a lot of enrichment. They're lovely dogs but they are a lot of work.

I agree too. Very odd. Dog haters obviously shouldn’t have dogs, and op clearly belong in that cathegory.

Totally agree with this. The language used is really full of disdain for dogs in general - it's odd.

I personally found the puppy stage much, much harder than the newborn stage. Perhaps I was blessed with an exceptionally even tempered baby but still…

We’re introverts so a family dog walk is our idea of a good time at the weekend, plus we tend to holiday in the UK at a family member’s cottage (who lets us bring the dog). If we were in the habit of long haul holidays or big days out, then we’d likely struggle as we don’t have family who could look after her in our absence. We rely on a fabulous doggy country club if we all have to be out for the day (weddings, family events etc) but it requires booking months in advance and there’s limited availability.

Will caveat this with the fact that we adore our furry reprobate and she is very much part of the family but having a dog doesn’t half restrict how/when we can do things.