To expect DP to not drink once in a while when I'm pregnant?

Just tell him you don't fancy driving tonight and ask if he can. Problem sorted without any drama x

But OP, why go if you're going to find it boring?

You can't expect your friends to stop socialising because you are pregnant. I can understand you wanting your DH to not have a drink when he's with you, but if you're bored why not stay at home and have a film night in with your feet up?

When baby arrives, there will be lots of things you can't do. There will be things where one or other of you goes out and has an evening off while the other stays with baby at home. That's normal.

Can you socialise with other pregnant ladies, from NCT or another group?

My ds's dad stopped drinking when I reached 35 weeks. Before that, it just wasn't necessary.

I’m sorry you’re frustrated and feeling unsupported OP. I think you’re getting a few silly responses as well.

As someone who almost never drinks I get it. Drinking is the activity at some get togethers and a wine bar means that it clearly will be. You want someone to share your experience at the event and resultingly want the same things as you. He probably would want to go home after lunch if he wasn’t drinking as the event won’t be nearly as fun. What can you do at a wine bar if you’re not drinking! The whole thing is designed around that. If he’s drinking then he’s going to want to stay and you’ll have to sit and be bored and then try and convince him to leave. That’s a miserable night of boredom for you when he could also want to go after a fe hours and you could have a lovely night.

i think you need to tell him that you want to go after a few hours and you don’t want him to drink. Be honest that this type of event can’t be quite boring if you’re the only sober person and you want a more fun night. He should be trying to make pregnancy as easy as possible and this is one event where he can.

@FirstBaby9894 I get you OP! I’m 17 weeks and genuinely watching DH drink annoys the crap out of me. I know it’s irrational, I know it’s unreasonable - but it’s how I feel.

Very similarly, at the start of the pregnancy DH proudly told me he wouldn’t drink while I was pregnant. I thought that was so sweet but completely unnecessary and told him so. So then it changed to he won’t drink wine (my drink of choice). Normally between us we’d have a couple of bottles of wine between us to last us over Friday, Saturday, Sunday. He now gets beers in and has a couple most nights and honestly it drives me mad - the smell of it, the way he slurps it, the burps… But I know it’s my issue. I hate beer so it’s not like I’m jealous of him being able to drink it, I’m just tetchy. He’s amazing in pretty much every other way so I’m willing to put up with this (plus it’s not fair of me to stop him regardless).

Funnily enough it doesn’t bother me if we’re out, only when we’re home, so not quite the same situation as you.

I think people are picking your words apart quite a lot here - you’d have got a lot more sympathy posting on the pregnancy boards ❤️

** to not drink on some occasions

I hope you're not planning to breastfeed if you're this resentful of him now...

Basically you've chosen to grow a baby inside your body, you knew this meant you would have to give up alcohol for at least 9 months.

Yet you seem SO resentful that this isn't the case for your DH, I really do wonder if you're not being honest about your past relationship with alcohol.

You don't like him drinking, you don't like his friends, you've said you won't be making other friends.

Just stay home and let him get a taxi. That has to be the best solution all round.

@FirstBaby9894, I've probably missed you as you've stopped reading now but I just wanted to say that I don't think it is unreasonable for you to ask him to make some effort to show solidarity with what you are going through and to improve your enjoyment of some events! I've asked my husband to not drink so that I don't have to drive late at night when I'm exhausted and he has been totally supportive as I'd expect my partner to be!! Sure he's not carrying the baby but it is his baby so why should you be the only one making sacrifices? I am sorry you've got such a hard time here! I think it's a shame we have such low standards for men when it comes to supporting their pregnant partners.

Goodness me if you think it's bad now, wait till the baby is here.

You sound very woe is me.

OP, I think the reaction you're having is because you've focused on this specific event which is based on drinking wine. I think yabu to ask him not to drink at a wine tasting event. You would not be unreasonable to ask him to join you on the soft drinks on a different occasion and leave at the time you want to. 3-4 evenings out drinking a week is a lot.

But for this event, I'd tell him either that you don't want to go as it is alcohol focused, or that you will attend for a couple of hours then drive yourself home and if he wants to stay later he can get a taxi back.

You've actually counted and are able to recall his drinks and how many?

Blimey.

Get over it.

It is like the designated driver asking their passengers not to drink to support their sobriety.

If you are worried about being tired and out late, agree a home time. If he wants to stay late, he can get a taxi.

Pregnant 3 times never once even entered my head to ask hubby to not drink I find it weird that some make wee issues

But that’s different to your op

I would feel so much better if he just didn't drink tonight.

The thread appeared to be about this one event. You would like him to not drink occasionally but tonight is the night you want him not to. Which is what I find strange given the event.

But you are saying it’s not specific to tonight. I get wanting to go out occasionally where he doesn’t drink. It’s just odd to decide it for this type of event.

saying to him ‘it would be nice once in a while if you wouldn’t drink when we go out’ is fine.

But that’s different to ‘I don’t want you to drink at a wine launch tonight. I am fine with it usually but specifically not tonight simply because I feel you shouldn’t tonight’

Which is not the description of someone who is not a big drinker. He's drinking most nights of the week and having several drinks. Presumably you also drank similar amounts before you were pregnant if you don't see this as a big drinker? I think with this in mind it was daft to think he'd change once you were pregnant and it's even more illogical to presume he will stop once the baby is born, if anything I'd expect him to be out even more nights.

But if he doesn’t get drunk, why are you ranting about wanting a sober partner every once in a while? Either he drinks a lot more than you implied in your OP, or you are exaggerating the impact it has … can’t be both ways

But you don't have to keep tagging along, do you? Especially when you don't really like the people you're socialising with.

Just tell him to sort his own transport and do your own thing when he's busy.

You'll both want this relaxing time back when the baby comes, so you should both just chill and enjoy.

What's all the swearing for?

I really would reflect on your relationship with alcohol during this time.

Hopefully you'll get used to not having it and realise it's not so hard/boring to live without it, regardless of what others choose to do.

I think your initial post is part of the problem. You specifically stated that he didn't drink much and is not a big drinker which is not accurate, he sounds like he drinks a LOT!

Explain that not drinking at social stuff is doing your head in a bit, and ask if he would consider not drinking this time to keep you company?

Your feelings are understandable, but I feel like you’re expecting him to mind read.

10 weeks maternity leave! I’m guessing you’re not in the UK?

I would advise letting your partner enjoy a few drinks. He’ll be a father soon and that’s when you’ll really need him to knuckle down and support you rather than going out drinking with friends.