To expect DP to not drink once in a while when I'm pregnant?

Yabu to want him not to drink but YANBU to want to leave at a reasonable time. Agree a time to leave and make it clear you don't want to look like the fun police so will be really unfair if he doesn't leave happily at the agreed time without whinging.

Also OP YANBU it’s one of the many shit things about being a woman - having to be the one to go through pregnancy and having your body not be your own

YANBU OP

alcohol is very much part of our society and socialising so it’s hard going without for the best part of a year

OP, I’m sorry if I’ve missed this but have you spoken to your DP about this/asked him to not drink occasionally?

Honestly, the risks are so small, and vary country by country, and the advice varies too. So, yeah, I ate all of the above, and very rare steaks too etc.

Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he doesn't realise that you want to leave early?

Stop thinking ‘I can’t drink - poor me - everyone else can - it’s not fair’

instead think - ‘ I could drink if I wanted to - but I know it is risky for my baby and so I am CHOOSING not to do so.’

plenty of women go against advice and drink , smoke, eat soft cheese etc throughout their pregnancy . I am NOT ADVOCATING doing so - but asking you to consider why you are following these guidelines and to see them as ‘ I am making positive choices to keep myself and my baby well throughout pregnancy.’

you are pregnant - not your partner . There is no reason on earth for them to stop doing everything because ‘it’s not fair’ to you !

frankly - ‘it’s not fair’ that I have multiple severe food allergies and have to follow a very strict and very boring diet… I do it because the alternative is being very very sick. I don’t expect anyone else to follow my boring bland diet as there is no need to and I am not bitter about this - I have accepted this is just is the way it has to be for me and I will not expect others to follow the restrictions that I have because ‘it’s not fair that I can’t have x,y,z’

Life isn’t fair…

stop being a martyr over pregnancy ‘restrictions’ (as you see them now) or choices as I see them. They last such a short time.

start empowering yourself with a positive mindset that enables you and your baby to be well by making the choices that will keep you and your baby safe.

Yes. He's not the one who's pregnant, presumably.

Why would you be bored if you can't drink?
You say your not a big drinker so why would it bother you?

It obviously is quite a nice event. Why can't he taste the wine at such an event?

If you don't want to be designated driver arrange a taxi!
Or if you drive and want to go home leave him to get a taxi!

Oooooo what you gonna do when you're home with the baby and he wants to go to one of his numerous socials per week.... Good luck.
YABU though, but I get it. I missed rare meat and CAMEMBERT when I was pregnant. My DH ordered a camembert starter once when out and I was furious 🤣
It sucks being sober when you're surrounded by tipsy folk, but, you're only pregnant for a relatively short time in life. I'd be wondering if this was the hill to die on?

I think in your shoes I would just go out less - with him, certainly - or just go home when you feel like it, instead of staying out with him when you're not enjoying it. But it's best to talk to him about how you feel and give him the change to change his behaviour.

It does sound hard. I don't socialise loads with OH and we rarely had big boozy nights so when I was pregnant it wasn't a big deal not drinking - and he certainly didn't drink more than usual like your DH.

OP I personally would not feel the same. Because I would just get a taxi home myself. Or drive myself home. However, that's assuming that we don't go out that often.
If you're out at least once a week taxis will be expensive.

Personally I don't think the drinking is the issue rather he doesn't leave. In which case you're perfectly justified and driving home on your own and seeing how he likes it.

BTW I don't really have this problrm because as I said my social life isn't centred around drinking. If yours is, it'll only get worse with children so time to make changes. The bigger issue is him not realising that his life has to.

So would you expect me to not eat carbs or sugar to support my diabetic friend?
He would think me totally ridiculous for even suggesting it. And yes his life with T1 diabetes is terrible sometimes and he wishes he could eat what he wants like me. Bi he can’t and that’s that.

I don't think you understand what people are saying.
Drinking doesn't mean getting drunk. If OP needs alcohol to enjoy her regular social group, then there's a bigger problem.

I drink, 2 glasses of wine at most, when I'm out, so do my friends. All that happens is tongues loosening and the conversation becomes pretty wild. I don't see how that's boring, quite the opposite! We get tipsy but not drunk. Sometimes I don't drink at all and it has no impact.

Either the OP is very boring without alcohol and can't keep up. Or her friends get actually very drunk which can be boring.

Her being tired, designated driver etc etc are all separate issues that are just confusing the actual question. If she wants him to stay in with her then that's a different story!

It's not like he can't drink at home.

Also emergencies make zero sense because you can't predict it! What if he doesn't drink 1 time out of 4, and the emergency happens during one of the other 3 times?

I'm amazed by the results here. I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's already hard to not be drinking at drinks-focused events. When the time you spend at that event and the quality of that time is very tied to how one other person behaves, as it is when you're in a couple who arrive and leave together, I think it's fair to be mindful of that, pregnancy or no pregnancy involved. I wouldn't necessarily expect him not to drink at all but I'd expect him to be mindful of not drinking to a level where it creates a strong distinction between how you can each engage with the occasion, out of courtesy.

TBH many men I know have stopped drinking during their partner's pregnancy out of solidarity and to create a more equal social experience between the two of them so that has coloured my expectations. I like that approach and rate them for it.

I also know people whose partners have been alcoholics and, once they sought help and went into recovery, their partners also gave up alcohol. For life. Now that's love.

Stupid? Erm we don't start name calling just because someone asked a question and I explained why the MAJORITY HAVE DISAGREED WITH OP. The irony 🤣

Not to take the thread on a tangent, but of course forklift trucks are used to reach. That's why they're used in huge warehouses

No need to piss on his parade because you can’t drink. It’s only temporary.

ALSO the stupid gotcha of “well you’re definitely alcohol dependent then because otherwise you wouldn’t care about your partner drinking” ok and?? maybe she is? Does that mean she doesn’t deserve support in dealing with that? It’s like some weird thing of like oh no you don’t deserve sympathy you’re alcohol dependent. Last time I checked people deserved compassion and support in dealing with that

Surely the only person who can guage the needs of the op is... The Op?! And she has said she feels unsupported, so by ignoring her request - which she has stated she made - he's being really inconsiderate.

And your analogy doesn't work btw, as far as I'm aware fork lift tricks don't have an extensive reach just great strength... 😂

I don't know if you'll read this, OP. but I hear you and I get it. I had to beg my DH to stop having more than 3 or 4 drinks when I was 38 weeks on my 2nd pregnancy. He laughed and said he wasn't going without a beer at such a stressful time, especially if I'd be late. It didn't feel very supportive and it felt very irresponsible, like it wasn't his problem.

I would try and tell him how you feel - that you would prefer sober company when you're sober all the time and would like to have nice dinners and time at home with him. Hopefully he'll listen and understand.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you love being a mum x

Honestly you read some of these replies and you wonder would you actually say this if a friend was telling you the same thing face to face? Why the outpouring of bitterness and negativity on here like what is it?
anyways I was going to say I feel the exact same way, I don’t really mind my partner drinking but every once in a while I look at him and I’m like I’ve had to change and go through a lot in this pregnancy and your life’s not changed at all… honestly yes it would be nice if out of solidarity he was AF with me but I’m not insistent on it
i really miss drink though, I don’t really care if anyone thinks that makes me an alcoholic tbh lifes hard enough and I like my vices. Love vaping, drinking and smoking and I miss them so much, but it’s obviously all worth it for our babs

I quit drinking 5 years ago. My husband didn't. For a while I resented him when he drank but that was MY problem, not his. I stopped hanging out with certain friends as all they wanted to do was drink. It sounds like you don't really even like these people? Make some new friends? Meet other women who are pregnant? I appreciate you've said you only have 10 weeks mat leave but you're still going to need a support network of other women who get what you're going through when you're in the early months of motherhood. Yes, it's hard. Yes, you have to make some sacrifices for your child. Trust me, this is just the first of many, and it isn't going to serve you to be resentful of your husband that it isn't impacting him in the same way as it is you. You can plan for things to be as equal as you want, but mothering and fathering an infant are different loads to carry.