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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave ten year old home alone for ten minutes.

36 replies

PilgorTheGoat · 19/04/2024 16:08

My DS is ten and in year 5. Today he has been off school poorly but by this afternoon was pretty much back to his normal self. Was I unreasonable to leave him for ten minutes to get his siblings from school (I left home at 15.26 and was home by 15.35 - walking the whole way so minimal distance too)?

He was fine about it, had my number and knew not to open the door, etc. he didn’t move from the sofa where he was watching cartoons. It’s the first time I’ve done it and I don’t intend to make a habit of it I was just wondering what people’s views are.

AIBU - you shouldn’t leave a ten year old at home for ten minutes.
YANBU - it was fine to leave a ten year old for ten minutes.

OP posts:
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HcbSS · 19/04/2024 18:23

it's not about age, but maturity!
I would have been fine at 10. My cousin however would probably have burned the house down at 13!

Crunchymum · 19/04/2024 18:15

It's fine.

I have even left my 9yo (year 4) in similar circumstances for about 20 minutes to drop / pick up youngest sibling.

JKRIsRight · 19/04/2024 18:02

It depends on the child but I think that is borderline ok.
At that age they can start walking themselves to school, I wouldn't leave a 10 year old alone overnight personally but for a short period when they have your phone number sure.

frecklejuice · 19/04/2024 17:37

It's fine, I leave my 10 year old for 20-30 minutes and she's ok!

ThanksItHasPockets · 19/04/2024 17:09

Beginning of Year 5 was exactly when we started doing this. I would now feel comfortable leaving my sensible Year 6 child for up to an hour, maybe an hour and a half. She walks to school independently a couple of days a week and will do so every day when she moves to secondary in September. Many parents leave it too late to start building independence and then wonder why their child can't cope with the expectations of secondary. You have nothing to worry about and there's absolutely no reason why you can't 'make a habit of it' - in fact, I would encourage you to start actively looking for opportunities for your DC to have increasing independence.

fieldsofbutterflies · 19/04/2024 17:08

Of course it's fine. I'd happily leave a 10yo home alone for an hour or so.

Tarantella6 · 19/04/2024 17:05

We started leaving dd1 alone in Y5 in exactly that scenario, a 10 minute pick-up walk.

She's Y6 now (still 10yo) and I left her for 90 minutes yesterday while I took dd2 swimming (a drive away).

HumerousHumous · 19/04/2024 17:03

Absolutely fine to leave your 10 year old, op, if you yourself, and he, are comfortable with it. There is no minimum age prescribed by law but you have to be happy they can cope and are safe. And you are. So YANBU.

Re to and from school, I o"frequently see comments on MN and offline of "school doesn't allow them to walk to school until year x" etc. School has a duty of care in terms of releasing children at the end of the day, however how they get to school is not their concern and is a parental decision.

LoveSkaMusic · 19/04/2024 16:53

Year 5 is the perfect time to start doing this.

I live a few miles from the primary school, and this year we introduced parking round the corner (as opposed to me waiting outside his classroom) and my son walks to the car. I still drop him off at the gates in the mornings though because it's a nice routine to wave him off.

For year 6, I'll park round the corner and he will walk himself to and from the car.

In year 7, he will walk from home to the secondary school just like his sister does.

We are also building him up to leaving him home alone for up to an hour. On occasion, we'll leave him for up to 20 mins but expect to extend this.

Original poster
PilgorTheGoat · 19/04/2024 16:49

I wouldn’t. I try to avoid judging other parents, I just wanted to know what the general consensus was over this.

OP posts:
skipit81 · 19/04/2024 16:45

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zingally · 19/04/2024 16:44

10 minutes in the middle of the day for a 10yo is absolutely fine. I wouldn't have thought twice about it tbh.

Dacadactyl · 19/04/2024 16:33

Totally fine.

I'd have left my kids in year 5 for over an hour tbh.

BettyShagter · 19/04/2024 16:33

YANBU

But before this thread is done, you'll no doubt have a few OTT anxiety riddled replies, pointing out that you could've been killed by a giant wheelie bin falling from the sky, or some such nonsense.

Beansandcheesearegood · 19/04/2024 16:33

Absolutely fine, don't worry, I leave my 10 year old y5 for exactly the same reason! She also now walks hone from school. Thus is the age to start gaining confidence and independence .

BananaLlama123 · 19/04/2024 16:28

PilgorTheGoat · 19/04/2024 16:20

They don’t usually walk to school alone as I’m going exactly the same way with siblings so we all go together. Children in his class are all allowed to though, to me that seems more risky than being at home but I’ve just looked on the NSPCC
website and it’s not recommended for under 12s.

Plenty of 11yos are at secondary school and have to get themselves too and from school. My eldest two did and my youngest will from September, so the NSPCC guidance seems odd there.

Anyway, I think you've done nothing wrong. My children walked themselves home from Easter in Y5, and my current Y6 does that and is on her own two days a week until her siblings get in 20min later.

Original poster
PilgorTheGoat · 19/04/2024 16:27

Yes I do. I started this thread to garner opinions from other parents. It’s hard to know when to start allowing children some independence so I was wondering what others did.

OP posts:
WarningOfGails · 19/04/2024 16:26

I leave my 8 year old at home alone for short periods of time.

skipit81 · 19/04/2024 16:25

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Cadela · 19/04/2024 16:24

So don’t leave him again until he’s 12? I’m not sure what you want from this thread.

AppleKatie · 19/04/2024 16:24

I’ve just started allowing my 9 year old (in year 4) to do this type of thing. It’s prob been 10 minutes twice in a month but if you don’t start building up from here when do you?

Original poster
PilgorTheGoat · 19/04/2024 16:20

They don’t usually walk to school alone as I’m going exactly the same way with siblings so we all go together. Children in his class are all allowed to though, to me that seems more risky than being at home but I’ve just looked on the NSPCC
website and it’s not recommended for under 12s.

OP posts:
MagicLemon · 19/04/2024 16:20

Peonies12 · 19/04/2024 16:18

of course it's fine. Don't they walk to school on their own usually?

Not all schools allow that my 10 year old isn't allowed to.

but yes this is fine and not really sure why people need to ask MN. My 10 year old has been staying home for about a year now

Tisfortired · 19/04/2024 16:19

Fine (I hope) as I also recently left my 10 year old for 10 mins whilst I went to pick up a parcel!

skipit81 · 19/04/2024 16:18

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