Gynaecologist remark to DH

I would report it. That is misogynistic, rude, and ignoring your medical problem. This is how women are dismissed my medical professions and we have to stand up for ourselves.

So sorry you had to go through that, just absolutely appalling 😕 I really advise making a complaint it’s so harmful to have people like that working in the nhs, that could be the last straw for some people having been through cancer. Disgusting man, hope you recover soon xx

I work in cancer care in the NHS - this is not acceptable and I’m sorry this happened to you. Please lodge a complaint with PALS.

Well they sure as hell should have some experience if they have qualified. That's what OSCEs are for. It is not a competition between the relative contribution of doctors and nurses. They are totally different and complementary roles and both important. An average nurse may be more experienced in the procedures you refer to but they haven't studied medicine in the same way as a new F1 will have. I just took exception to the condescension in your post about young doctors doing all the shit no-one else wants to. Interestingly, you haven't commented on what I said about responsibility for the bleep? Or would you just classify the newly qualified doctor having to be first on the scene to a nocturnal cardiac arrest as the shit no-one else wants to deal with?

Where did I say all medical staff were professional? I sympathised with the OP and said what happened was shocking. Of course that awful unprofessional behaviour should be called out and openly commented upon but that doesn't mean that this isn't the exception rather than the rule.

But this wasn't a comedy show or friends bantering together.

It was a professional appointment between doctor and patient, and patient's partner.

In a medical appointment there is no place for ageist, sexist jokes at the patient's expense,

My point was that fresh out of uni, depending where they study, many may not have experience with basic medical procedures like taking blood, catheterising patients, or putting cannulas so average nurse is more experienced.

There is no negative generalization towards doctors here. Everyone is thankfull for NHS services. But let's not pretend all medical staff is professional. Some of them do scream,swear, throw degrading and sexist comments etc. And they do make mistakes. This is something that should be commented on openly.

The 'person who just got out of university' is called Doctor. They would have been doing clinical placements since the start of their degree, unless they were studying at Oxford, Cambridge or St Andrews, in which case they would have started in Year 4) but still have had three years of clinical training before qualifying. Of course they are still in training but having responsibility for the bleep on night shift is a bit more serious than 'doing the shit no-one else wants to do'. That's my perspective.

I have every sympathy for the OP. I think it is shocking if any medical professional spoke to her like that. However, for every one doctor like that, there are many more excellent ones who are dedicated to their patients and who give a lot more of themselves than most people do in their jobs. I guess I just don't like the negative generalisations on this thread. The medical profession generally doesn't deserve it. The NHS is a mess right now but IMO the doctors, nurses and AHPs are generally the best part of it.

In that situation it's easy to miss something important, so this is very wise.

VesperLind, on the other hand, has just received the award for the stupidest and most irrelevant question of 2024.....unfortunately the poster left their acceptance speech in the toilet which was probably the best place for it.

It is very normal, and often encouraged, to have a supportive other adult with you during important medical consultations, especially things like cancer where it can be a very emotional meeting. It helps to ensure that important information is remembered - more likely with two people rather than one, often an upset/worried/emotional patient. It also helps to make sure important questions are asked and not forgotten in the appointment time.

Whilst it may not be common in general appointments it is very common, ime, when it comes to appointments about cancer and other serious medical issues.

It's nothing to do with having a more traditional relationship. It's everything to do with support.

.. I would want to be treated as the competent, independent person that I am.

Well, bully for you....but you didn't add 'crass' and 'insensitive' to the list of "qualities"??

I can't imagine ever choosing to take my husband with me to an appointment, even though he is medically qualified

Well, sure he is! * *😏😏

If the doctor wants to practice comedy he should become a stand up comedian. If he wants to practice medicine he should develop a bedside manner that includes empathy and compassion.

Experienced doctor is not the same as person who just got out of university.
And experienced doctors 100% don't sit while someone else examines patient as OP described. That is what fresh ones do before they even move to SHO level.
Agree about term junior doctors being wrong for many, but in London hospitals I know people who are in some sort of specialization are usually called registrars or senior registrars and they can spend career at that level,no one calls them junior.

Really? If my Dh or I became seriously ill, I imagine we’d both go to as many appts as we could. It’s often a good idea to have a second, not ill, person there to keep track of the questions, work through what you’re being told. So why not your life partner??

Honestly? I'd have found that quite funny.

You can have very experienced doctors who are not consultants. Some will never be consultants but that doesn’t mean they are not qualified doctors with a lot of responsibility. That’s why the term junior doctor is so misleading and should be scrapped. It leaves the door open for idiots like Victoria Atkins to call them all trainee doctors.

Yes hilarious. Have some fucking empathy

but not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things

Of course not, the OP's only recovering from cancer, for God's sake.

When did you have the empathy removal operation?

Good question. It’s a deeply mysoginistic view.

Out of interest, are you a man?

This is definitely the question to ask. 🙄

In the circumstances, it doesn’t even make sense.

Did either of you tell him he’s an arsehole?

No I was correcting my own post where I said an oncologist said something to me but it was an obstetrician. It's directly above that post.

Are you unable to read?
OP described that bloke just sitting there. That must be first year out of uni, as later then that they already do some stuff (as I wrote).
And first year out of university you are leveled as any other intern. Yeah, got academic background and no practical experience in your job.
I am surprised that people struggle to understand that being doctor involves training as other career paths do, and that involves patients being treated by someone who still didn't complete their specialization.
Yeah, registrars can have 4 yers of experience but they are not consultants. In any other field it is perfectly normal to acknowledge that (and be happier someone more experienced takes your case).

You honestly think a medical health specialist should be "joking" like that?

You don't think that's highly insulting?