Gynaecologist remark to DH

What an odd comment. The same reason anyone takes their loved one to a medical appointment. For emotional support, for physical help (the OP is recovering from cancer surgery), to help understand what the doctor is telling them, to discuss their treatment options.

@VesperLind why do you ask? Surely the obvious reason is for support?!

Also this.

@Meadowfinch I am happy about this for you and I hope you are doing well.

However @Gyneapologist is talking about HER experience, not yours, and she is entitled to express her dissatisfaction with the care SHE received. It’s not a competition.

WTAF? Is there a service called RUDEBot that posts on sites?

I guesss it varies. I've had one excellent female gynae, one excellent male gynae and two male gynaes who caused me extreme pain (one cut me without any pain relief; the other kept cutting after I told him that the local hadn't worked).

Sorry, I may be being thick but I'm not sure I even understand the "joke".

Was he implying that you're husband was hoping you would die so that he can get a younger woman instead? Or that he hopes you have the all clear so that he can stop worrying about you / feeling responsible for you so that he can leave you for a younger woman? Or something else?

Something about this great wit is passing me by but, even if it wasn't, I think I'd take great pleasure in making him spell out the elements of the "joke" in excruciating detail, along with exactly why it's funny so that he could hear himself.

What about when the wife accompanied the husband? What type of couple are they then? Still traditional?

I would pursue this and wouldn't drop it until the gynaecologist was appropriately (harshly!) punished. He has no business having a medical license. Appalling, I'm so sorry for you OP.

Why is that relevant

That’s what you took from this post? Seriously!?!?

OP this is awful absolutely awful! I can’t think of a single situation that this is acceptable to say.

Me too!!!!

I’m so sorry to hear everything you have been through OP. I am glad you have the support of your husband, which it seems other PPs don’t have.

OP you have no need to prove yourself to twats on here. Don't give them your time.

Maybe after he said it he felt mortified

Unlikely since anyone who would even have a phrase like that in their head - let alone say it out loud - is doubtlessly a complete and utter prick.

I accompanied my late husband to all his medical appointments for heart trouble. Every other man there was accompanied by his significant other.

Men coming on here to post that they do not believe women's experiences of sexism take the .

What a stupid question. Why should he not be? Sucks for you that you don’t have the kind of relationship where you might like your partner that for support/be comfortable having him there.

I am so sorry that this happened to you OP. He is a complete fucking twat and you MUST COMPLAIN and take it as high as you can. He needs a bollocking and you need an apology.

For those who think that the NHS does not have an issue with institutionalised misogyny...words fail me.
What about the diabolical maternity care and the endless scandals? The fact that women are not given enough pain relief when they need it (and men are)? That it was only made mandatory in 2022 for trainee doctors to learn about women's bodies? And just think how quickly the NHS switched important cancer messaging to calling us chest feeders and ovary havers...don't recall seeing men called penis wielders or testicle carriers though.

I think OP has explained that her DH was totally taken aback, so why would he think of a retort!

Stop trying to blame him, he is not the issue by any means!

Why not?

Hospitals tell you that you can take a supporter into appointments.

What a bizarre comment, not at all appropriate or funny. It is good you have witnesses.
Please do complain, it does not have to be like this. My infertility consultant, male nearing retirement could not have been a more kind and compassionate human being.

Disgusting. I'd make a massive fuss. I don't know what complaints procedures are, but I'd look into getting it right to the top/being as noisy as possible rather than following a standard procedure that might mean it was sat on/minimised/ignored.

He probably thought he was being funny and lightening the atmosphere.

Maybe after he said it he felt mortified.

Still, by age 60 I thinks most people would have learned to take a second and reconsider before making a joke like that.

I think your DH should have said something in your defence! I’d be more upset about that.

Indeed. My local hospital encourages patients undergoing cancer treatment or attending post-cancer operation follow-up appointments to bring their partners to appointments.

This is all levels of wrong, from moving out of professional mode to you both, failing to model appropriate behaviour to the student present, (so unprofessional with him too), the off-colour and sexist insult offered to you both, and the subtext implication for a cancer patient in particular. He couldn’t have got it any more wrong, really.

So sorry to hear about the way you were treated at this appointment, OP. It’s enough dealing with medical appointments without a lack of professionalism on top.