Gynaecologist remark to DH

You should report the consultant his comment was out of order. Even if it was meant to come accross in a jokey way it doesn’t make sense in response to asking for an mri.

Also there’s nothing wrong with having your DH present, many people take someone to their appointments for many reasons (because they are nervous, because they want help in remembering info, for support etc).

What’s that got to do with it?!!

I've raised concerns over the lack of sensitivity of an NHS doctor. I was in the middle of a miscarriage (possibly number 4 by that point - they do all blur together) and she said I needed to stay hopeful. I challenged her in the room and asked what I should be hopeful for as i wasnt pregnant anymore? I contacted the department afterwards and she phoned me. She apologised and was able to see it from my point of view. A male doctor had told me the same thing during an earlier miscarriage so I wondered if it was something that was passed down to say to women in this position. Utterly trite so felt I wanted this changed and each women being spoken to regarding their circumstances at the time. Not this bland statement that didn't apply on my situation. Its about putting things right.

So it is acceptable for a medical professional to ‘joke’ about someone trading in their partner for a ‘younger model’ if the couple is deemed ‘traditional’? 🙄

Also, emotional and practical support during difficult times should be part of every marriage, ‘traditional’ or not. And accompanying a spouse to stressful appointments is a normal part of that support.

I think it speaks reems about the misogyny of that one idiot oncologist. It says nothing about the NHS at all.**

I agree. I’m appalled and I imagine 99% of NHS staff would be too.

That is really unprofessional. I am all for tongue in cheek jokes but I'd be really thrown off if this was said in a medical appointment. I don't need to know about my doctor's sense of humour, I want reassurance that I am being looked after.

How completely inappropriate. Make a formal complaint.

Definitely report this. I don't know if it's just me but every time I have had a gynae appointment, I've always felt like I've been treated like a piece of meat on a conveyor belt. So much so, that despite having ongoing gynae issues, I have refused to go back as I don't feel like they care about my problems. There seems to be absolutely no bedside manner in this department and that's been in two different NHS trust areas as I changed address.

As if he's not used to husband's being present. Are you made of ice?

I suppose in the 1950s husbands didn't accompany their wives to gynae appointments. Perhaps the first response is from somebody from that time.

Why not? What a weird comment.

Please make a formal complaint.

Obviously because he'd noticed the windows in the consultant's room were in need of a wash, so he took his mop and bucket in to do them. For God's sake. 🙄🙄🙄

Honestly, why would you even ask something so stupid?' Have you never wanted support in a situation like this?

He needs to be sent on a course......How To Treat Female Patients As Sentient And Possibly Intelligent Life Forms.

He sounds too old fashioned to be working and needs pensioning off so he can sit in a corner uttering his incomprehensible and misogynistic garbage somewhere where nobody can hear it.

Definitely complain.

Is it common then for 'traditional' couples to want to trade their partners in?
That's what you're implying (I think) - that the consultant only made this comment because he thinks they're a traditional couple.

It's not at all unusual for patients to take someone with them appointments; actively encouraged in many cases. Even the most competent, independent person needs support at times.

This consultant sounds like the equivalent of some 1970's comedians, and probably considered his remark to be a very unfunny 'joke'.

In fact, this bloke was probably the model for the old joke : what's the difference between God and a medical consultant? answer: God doesn't think he's a consultant.

My endocrine dr is now the NHS lead in the uk for racism….

thus doesn’t stop drs from quipping that he thinks he’s god! I mean why in earth would you start this conversation with a patient?)?

I think it’s highly unprofessional beyond belief and shows exactly why he needs to do that job!

Racism and misogynistic people all around.

Thank you Otter2 but I was young then mid 20's. If it was now would have called her out there and then, what a horrible bitchy unsensitive person she was.

Why on earth would he say that? I don’t even get the supposed ‘joke’…..

Is he Scottish?

Fucking hell. Dreadful. 😡

Shocking remark after all you have been though.
Years ago I had a miscarriage and was at the hospital with my partner. This doctor who was dealing with us, a female, was talking about the d&c I would have to have and she said while flirting with my partner, 'I bet I have seen more legs up in the air than you have'. All this while I was very sad after miscarriage, I was so shocked and wish I had reported her. Very unprofessional and shocking.

Disgusting ! I would make a complaint! He should not be in that job if he thinks these comments are ok !

As a fellow ectopic survivor - I am so sorry.

You don’t need to prove or explain yourself.