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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep my daughter off of school for a hair appointment

142 replies

Melonlove · 19/04/2024 11:48

Hi
My daughter has a 3 days residential trip. We didn’t know about it until 2 days ago as she wanted to go but it was full up and somebody canceled their space opening it up to us. She’s going this coming Wednesday.

She is 7 with very thick and long Afro hair that is very hard to manage and mattes very easily. It’s really impossible to do unless you have experience with it. She can’t yet brush her hair properly or put it up properly. If she didn’t brush her hair for 3 days it would become very tangled and just look a mess. I did ask the school if anybody could help her and they said they’re not allowed to help them with that.

All of the braiders in my area are full this weekend, I’ve tried everyone even out of my town. However one person has an opening for Monday but this would be during school hours.

AIBU if I keep her off on Monday and say she’s sick so she can get her hair braided which will protect it whilst she’s away?

OP posts:
GoFaster83 · 19/04/2024 11:56

I think, having already asked the school if they can support with hair care and they've replied no, they will be understanding of her absence. Is there a way you can get her into school before or after the appointment? That would show that you are supportive of school and have a legitimate reason for her to be absent. It may be recorded as unauthorised but the staff will understand, I'm sure.

Grumppy · 19/04/2024 11:56

I think this is an acceptable day off in this circumstance. Her hair needs to be the last thing she worries about so she can go and enjoy herself on the trip

hedgehoglurker · 19/04/2024 11:56

I'm reading this as a 2 night trip. Can you do her hair in a couple of Dutch plaits and have her wear a sleep bonnet overnight? (I have mixed race curly hair.)

BettyShagter · 19/04/2024 11:55

Tell the truth and drop her back to school after the appointment if there's time.

Otherwise your DD will get dragged into the lies.

Justablueone · 19/04/2024 11:55

just say she is unwell with something that’s not d and v so you fine then have a 48 hr rule applied.

Unless you have a school that are culturally aware and understanding it’s probably easier to say it’s illness. Not ideal to lie but sometimes easier. My dc have similar hair and I would absolutely do this as if you don’t the residential could ruin her hair !!

User79853257976 · 19/04/2024 11:55

Does she need to miss the whole day?

RollOnSpringDays · 19/04/2024 11:54

I’d just call school and explain the actual reason. It may go as an unauthorised absence but if you’re ok with that it’s best to be truthful.

onwardsup4 · 19/04/2024 11:54

Just say an appointment. I don't think schools tend to quiz kids about why they're off especially if her attendance is usually good.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/04/2024 11:54

Typing this without knowledge of Afro hair so I'm happy to be shot down as ignorant, but...

I think it depends on the reasons for the 'mess' being a problem after 3 days. Mess as in Will take hours to untangle and be painful, or mess as in looks messy.

The former, then it's a valid reason, the latter and I'm not sure that missing education so that hair doesn't look messy is a good example.

Balloonhearts · 19/04/2024 11:54

Say she has an appointment, you don't want them excluding her from the trip because she's ill

ProcrastinationCentral · 19/04/2024 11:53

I think I'd jut tell them the truth, there's an element of welfare involved as surely she will be very uncomfortable if her hair gets more and more tangled while she is away.

ZipZapZoom · 19/04/2024 11:52

Don't say she's sick just phone the school on Monday and let them know she won't be in today. No need to lie.

Beatrixslobber · 19/04/2024 11:52

I wouldn’t lie. Tell the truth.

InTheRainOnATrain · 19/04/2024 11:52

Makes sense I think. Is DD old enough to stick to the story? But I would say dentist appointment instead maybe. You don’t want school quizzing about fake symptoms that may lead DD to say the wrong thing and get excluded from the trip because of fever/stomach bug rules.

Namechangedforthis25 · 19/04/2024 11:51

Yes I think it’s fine in this case but be wary of the 48 hour rule

ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 19/04/2024 11:50

If you say she is sick on Monday, with a 48 hour exclusion rule, she won't be on a residential on Wednesday.

Mangolover123 · 19/04/2024 11:50

I think that is fine. You will feel better and so will she.
I normally would say not alright but you have tried your best and you know what you need to do for your child.

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