To keep my daughter off of school for a hair appointment

Another thread where I was sure you were unreasonable from the title, and then changed my mind on the details. I think I'd just be honest with the school. If you keep her home sick and then she shows up with immaculate braids the next day they'll guess anyway. And if you lie then she's got to lie too, and that's not a position you want to put her in.

I have no experience with afro hair, but even with my limited knowledge I can understand that 3 days of tangles is going to be a massive problem. The alternatives are that you cut her hair very short before she goes; cut it all off when she gets back; or literally spend hours trying to detangle it, no doubt causing her significant distress and probably pain, and risk damaging it to the point where it's going to look awful for the immediate future so you might as well have cut it off anyway. I'm not suggesting you should do any of those things, but it might be helpful to remember them when you're trying to explain to the school.

In all the schools my DC have been in, that's only if they vomit or have diarrhea. Anything else, they want them back in school asap.

In your situation, I would keep her off for the hair appt but I would just be honest with school about it.

I totally understand the dilema, but I disagree with your solution.

My neices are mixed race, and when they went to stay with my mum (Grandma) who had no idea about afro hair, my sister in law would plait it into two french plaits before they came. The french plaits stayed in for 2-3 days and my mum wouldn't touch them.
When they went home my SIL took the plaits out.

No need for complete head braid.

Hi OP. Obviously you don't have to answer, but I wonder if you grew up without a black lady influencing your hair care? Again, fully prepared to be wrong again 😆.

My mum is black, so as a child my hair was always treated as afro with various braiding styles. For primary school residentials, it would be cane-rowed, for example, and this would take perhaps an hour or so and last the whole trip.

You clearly want the best for your DD, but to answer your AIBU, I still think YABU, as there are alternatives that wouldn't need a day off school. I also would be concerned that especially if the braider is unknown to you, they might do them too tightly and your DD could be away on her trip in pain.

Whatever your decision, wishing your DD a wonderful time on her trip.

(Edited to reinsert lost paragraphs, hopefully they are still there now.)

The main thing for me is that I don't think you're unreasonable in principle, and I'm someone who never advocates for missing school.

I'm not sure what I'd give as a reason. I think I'd just be honest as what's the worst that can really happen? They can't demand she comes in and social services aren't going to come round for the sake of a 1 day unauthorised absence, I presume!

Also the 48 hour comments are a red herring. Unless youre really silly you obviously wouldn't say she was physically sick Monday morning! You would say she was sick Friday night or Saturday morning and you're keeping her off to be on the safe side because of the trip. Or she has a headache or something.

I'd do it and I would lie also. You are prioritising the experience for your daughter, which is absolutely the right thing to do. However, the school are likely to have to put it as an unauthorized absence because there's very little leeway with these things. Just choose an illness that won't invoke the 48 hour rule.

Surely you could do it yourself over the weekend?

If you say she is sick and then she turns up at school with her hair in braids, you’ll be caught out in a lie - and are you expecting her to play along with the lie?

Have you tried your local FB community page and asked if anyone can help with afro braids one evening and free to help? I’ve found the people there can be really helpful?

It’s fine but don’t lie

I think most, or at least many people with knowledge of protective styles would not miss a day of school for braids, even at the last minute. Not for a 7 year old for 2 nights. A self-conscious teenager for a week, yes possibly.

These 6 hour (or longer) braids are designed to last for numerous weeks or several months. A style to last a few days should take a fraction of the time, and not necessitate a day off school. It was something that in my experience, my mum or an older sister would have easily done at home for me as a child.

The above is why I think PP suggested OP research protective styles, as my impression from this thread is that OP's first experience of caring for afro type hair is due to her DD. I may be wrong though!

Please don’t lie, we always know / find out it’s not fair on the child who will inevitably say something. They always do!!

I think it’s a really sensible decision to keep her off school to get her hair braided - Afro hair getting in a mess can be horrendous to de-tangle and she will be much more comfortable on the trip.

What time is the appointment OP? Can she go in for morning registration so she only misses one session?

I would be inclined to send an email explaining the situation and apologising. I would accept that it will be unauthorised but explain it is required as she has Afro hair which she will be unable to manage on the trip without experienced help.

I'd tell the school op. You didn't know she was going so didn't have a choice to sort this earlier so I think it's reasonable to take the cancellation and get her hair in a protective style so she won't suffer discomfort or pain

It's one day not her entire education fgs and if you'd read the op and further posts you'd see that it actually is important.

Just be honest-they should understand as it’s a one off.

Actually, I was telling the white lie. Not asking the child too in the imaginary scenario.

Ooops. Yes mine are all adults now and I had forgotten how sometimes the little darlings can throw you under the bus!

I think you are being unreasonable. Her education is more important than her hair.

I think telling the truth is the right decision. It will save the teachers going on the trip a whole load of hassle, your DD a lot of distress and you have a good reason for having to do it on Monday. Even if they don't like it, what are they going to do? They cant force her to go to school. They will just mark it as an unauthorised absence. No harm done really, unless she has been off so many times that one more absence gets the truant officer round.

I braided my DDs hair for her school trip for the same reasons.

Are you not able to braid it yourself?

If not, then I would definitely allow her a day off and either tell the truth or say she has a dentist/optician appointment.

Don’t say she’s poorly incase they don’t allow her to go on the trip.

I hope she has a great time 😃

Definitely a good reason for her to have time off school.
Edited to say so tell them the reason though, and explain you wouldn’t have done it if they were able to offer support with care tasks while she was away.

I would have a "dental ' appointment