My ex and I share our little boy who turns 2 this Sunday. Ex left us when our little one was 2 months old. He does see DC regularly and is a good father, engaged, pays maintenence etc however him and I have a strained relationship, we barely see/speak to one another bar necessary texts re our son. He has our son overnight once a week; collects him from nursery on a Tuesday and drops him back off on a Wednesday. Things were bumping along with not too much bother as it was an easy enough arrangement between us re contact. However he had a baby in February with the woman that he started seeing either while he was still with me or just after he left and since this baby was born a couple of months ago, he has become noticeably more awkward with me in regards to our son.
One issue is that my brother lives in New Zealand, and has done for around 9 years. I've not seen him since before covid. Ex and i when we were still together were going to go out to NZ in 2019 for a month, we had it all planned, dream holiday etc, however covid struck so that was put on hold. Anyway, the plan now is that me, my little one, my mum and dad and my aunt all go to NZ for 2 weeks in November, to visit my brother, let him meet the little one etc. Looking into things, it seems that I should get a letter of authorisation from ex, to take our child abroad. So I sent him a message asking him for this however he is refusing to provide it. Asking for information on the trip, ie dates etc, which I've given him however he refuses to privide said letter and seems really angry that i want to take DS to NZ, saying that itll tske time away from him having DS. Which i would make up either before we went or when we got back. He has also started to get arsey with any changes to contact ie if I need him to take DS on a Thursday night instead of Tuesday for work/shifts.. He used to be absolutely fine with this however has recently been so awkward about it.
He did find out that I had started seeing someone recently however I can't imagine it's that that's bothering him as he's moved on with this woman, they're obviously happy as they've been together nearly 2 years, bought a house, just had a baby etc. Him finding out about my new partner was around the same time that I mentioned the holiday, I don't know if that's what has got him mad?
I have this gut feeling that coparenting is about to become quite tough with him.
Has anyone had an OK coparenting arrangement with an ex and it all suddenly turned to shit after changes in their respective circumstances? I'm genuinely stumped as to why he's suddenly changed from being easy oozy about things like flexibility with contact to being a dick. He's all nicey nicey in texts ie I had the flu a couple of weeks ago and he's saying he's saying sorry to hear I'm unwell, hope I'm feeling better soon, to refusing to change contact days as a one off and basically refusing me permission to take our son abroad for a two week holiday. Do men just become like this once they move on with a new family/children etc? It's very frustrating and ultimately its our DS who is going to lose ie spending time with his uncle etc.