Ex becoming very awkward since the arrival of his new baby with new partner

Does your son have the same last name as you? I’ve never been asked for parental permission with my children (with my same surname) and I’ve taken them abroad maybe 5 times. My friend, however, has encountered questions because her children don’t share her name.

I would take your CB letter, his birth certificate etc to prove you are the parent "with care" after all you have return tickets.

Very breve fling all that way with a 2 year old.

Perhaps he is worried about that, his son being so far away. Who knows?

I don’t know where in the UK you are, but you don’t need a letter giving permission in Scotland, unless there’s a court order in place. Is travelling from Scotland a possibility?

Just because he has 'moved on' has a new partner, mortgage and baby doesn't mean this sudden change of behaviour isn't 100% due to your new relationship.

Maybe he convinced himself you'd never find anyone else, maybe he is sulking that you're not going to spend the rest of your life alone, waiting in the wings for him. Maybe the realisation has hit that one day there might be another man in his childs life....eventually more than he appears to be in it, is he feeling guilty about that? worried new man is going to make him look like a useless father and is now doubling down being a prick because he can't deal?

Whatever it is I hope you can sort it out for the sake of your son and you get to take him on holiday, it'd be a lovely experience for him.

Well I bet his new perfect life with the new lady and new baby is far from perfect. He’s had baby with an OW when his eldest was only 1yo. Bearing in mind he left you when your baby was 2 months, he’s recreated the same situation with someone he knows a lot less well. I bet he is really frustrated. And jealous of your trip to NZ.

I really wouldnt without first seeking legal advice. Also, have you already got his passport? If not apply for it now.

Mediation and CAO can take a long time and may be v expensive and stressful. It might not be resolved by November.

Try again with the letter. It is v unreasonable for him not to sign. Hopefully he will change his mind.

Ask via email or text in case he does refuse so you have evidence of his refusal and the reasons why in writing.

If he really won't budge apply for a specific issue order asap

If one parent will not consent to the other taking the child abroad, the parent seeking to do so must apply to the court for a specific issue order. This application is made where parents or anyone with parental responsibility are not able to reach an agreement over any issues concerning a child1. The court will consider whether the holiday is in the best interests of the child in question when deciding whether to grant permission2. A specific issue order can be made at short notice if the other parent is causing avoidable delays and is refusing to consent without good reason3.

I hope you get a lovely break with your family x

You’re ex also sounds like a prince, OP - but not the royal kind, more ironic.

Incidentally (And perhaps more relevant to @AndOnAndOnItGoes as it could have been said about her ex), this is also from Blackadder, when they’re trying to fix up the Prince Regent in an arranged marriage with a European Princess, after he spends all his money on socks/playing cards:

blackadder: well, we’ll never get HER to marry him.
baldrick: why
blackadder: because she’s met him.

@Goldbar it was Baldrick who told us “Mr Blackadder says: when the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table”.

OH has a Child Arrangements Order for his Daughter with his ex. They didn't even discuss holidays or arrangements, but there were some standard clauses on the bottom of the order that I'm assuming apply to everyone unless specifically agreed differently. The clauses were that no-one is allowed to change the name of the child without consent of all with parental responsibility, and that neither parents can remove the child from the country without written consent of the other, UNLESS it's for stays off less than 1 month in which case no permission is needed.

Regarding taking your little one abroad, the only time I got asked questions was because we don't have the same last name (they still let me through though). I was told it would be better to take the birth certificate to avoid any issue.

Regarding your ex, this is a wild guess but since he left you just after the birth of your child, do you think it's possible he is reliving the same type of scenario with his new partner and taking it out on you?
I'm thinking this because it looks like he is trying get control back, and it could a knee-jerk reaction to compensate for the control he lost when his other child was born.

I think he’s jealous of your holiday. The holiday of a lifetime he didn’t get to go on.

You do know that it’s a ‘world wide web’ 🙄

OP you need to apply via the courts for a specific issue order to grant the holiday otherwise if you go and he reports you it will be classed as child abduction.

Ds travels often with his dad on holiday and I always provide a signed consent letter giving my permission and including flight number/ dates/my contact details ect. He’s never been asked for it at border control despite ds looking nothing like him and x having a foreign passport.

He’s probably doing at a control thing, it’s alright for him to move on but you’re not allowed to. My x is the same, doesn’t want or love me but doesn’t want any future partner being around ds while he can happily move on and enjoy his social life.

I'm sure it's been said but he is kicking off absolutely because you've dared to move on and he has his new woman in his ear. You don't need his permission surely? I'd be sending a parent round to have a word if you can't stand up to him but real!y you must. He's not in charge.

It’s WHO IS IN HIS EAR. She’s in his ear telling him how it should be done. Also yes as soon as you get your life together start dating find someone good for you they smell blood in the water and circle back. Jeez I have seen this so many time and experienced it myself by my ex who frankly hated me. Still does. Child arrangements are subject to change always. Even with a court decree. I divorced with 5/7 y.o and now post college he still sends shit texts about “time with kids”. Look into your legal resources as op mentioned. I don’t think he can keep you from leaving country with dc.