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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to let DD drink coffee?

181 replies

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:47

DD (13) is constantly asking me if she can drink/try coffee. So far I have been saying no because I don't want her to get addicted to it like I am, I have both DD and also a 1yo DS as well as a very demanding job and I just can't function without coffee because I'm always exhausted and need it to function. Coffee helps to keep me alert every day when I'm exhausted, honestly wouldn't be able to function without coffee. DH thinks that I should 'consider' letting DD try it but I'm worried that she will end up addicted like me. Aibu to not let DD drink coffee?

OP posts:
Wellhellooooodear · 18/04/2024 22:06

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:49

She doesn't want decaf though, I've already tried suggesting that to her.

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Well that's tough tits isn't it. It's a compromise and you're the adult.

Wellhellooooodear · 18/04/2024 22:05

FakeMiddleton · 18/04/2024 20:48

Let her drink it because she will HATE the taste at that age.

Job done.

My 13 year old DD loves coffee

IceCreamWoes · 18/04/2024 22:05

A bot has written this 🤣 clearly

cosietea · 18/04/2024 22:04

It's fine. I've been drinking coffee since I was a baby.

It wont harm her

Callisto1 · 18/04/2024 22:03

I wouldn’t stress about it. My 5 year old went through a “coffee” phase. You just make it milky or decaf and choose a small dainty cup. It’s not like she will have a bucket.
The phase lasted about 2 months and now she rarely asks or sometimes wants the foam of my cappuccino when we go to cafes.
I would worry far more about energy drinks at that age. They contain more caffeine and extra sugar.

MissBedelia · 18/04/2024 22:01

This place is mad. “”Let” your daughter drink coffee ??!!

It’s fine to drink coffee. Dissuade her from crack

Kalevala · 18/04/2024 22:01

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 21:58

I'm hoping DD hates it if I let her try it then. Don't want her to end up like me and getting addicted.

It's hardly a life time addiction! You can quit if you want. It's not nicotine.

PrincessOfPreschool · 18/04/2024 21:59

Oh yes, I definitely drink it for the taste and the warmth. I don't really like tea (Earl Grey is OK). And I hate herbal teas. My house is cold. Coffee keeps me warm and I love the taste.

LostMySocks · 18/04/2024 21:59

My 8 year old has been drinking decaf coffee since he was 6. I let him sip my proper coffee when out and about in the morning but he hates it. I've told him it's decaff only as he needs his sleep. However I drink decaf in the afternoon so he may see it as a grown up drink.
My 10 year old hates coffee but does love a cup of string tea ..again decaff unless first thing in the morning

Kalevala · 18/04/2024 21:58

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/04/2024 21:48

Because it'll taste like shit.

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Didn't realise this was about decaf!

Original poster
TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 21:58

I'm hoping DD hates it if I let her try it then. Don't want her to end up like me and getting addicted.

OP posts:
Kalevala · 18/04/2024 21:55

It's physically addictive but easy to quit or cut down. Just a headache and a bit of fatigue. Water, paracetamol and sleep will fix it. Limit it to once in the morning and social coffees and it's hardly a big deal for a teen.

prescribingmum · 18/04/2024 21:50

It was never restricted for me and I would have the very occasional cup from when I was around her age. Used it to keep me awake to study when doing A-levels and degree but drunk nothing outside of exam time and only started drinking it daily in my late 20s.

So like millions of others, unrestricted access had absolutely no effect on me. Your reliance on it to function whilst refusing her to have any is a recipe for disaster

Rowen32 · 18/04/2024 21:49

OP, you sound almost scared of your addiction to coffee, it's coffee, it's not alcohol. She's a healthy teenager presumably, she's not going to want it to be more alert etc and even if she does its coffee, I think you're feeling scared runs a lot deeper to something else if I'm being honest..

Thejackrussellsrule · 18/04/2024 21:49

The majority of people who drink coffee will do so for enjoyment, you make it sound like it's a done deal she will become dependant and addictive, it sounds more about you than her.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/04/2024 21:48

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2024 20:52

How will she know?

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Because it'll taste like shit.

cherish123 · 18/04/2024 21:46

I wouldn't give her decaf. It's full of chemicals. Better off with caffeine.

I probably wouldn't let her taste coffee but she probably wouldn't like it. It is an acquired taste.

pinksheetss · 18/04/2024 21:45

My granda had my try coffee when I was younger and I found it absolutely disgusting and haven't touched it since to this day (now 32)

(Sucker for an energy drink though)

Tessisme · 18/04/2024 21:44

DS1 was found not to have ADHD back in 2021 @JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam, when he was assessed. I am sceptical though. He's awaiting an ASD assessment. I suspect he has both and the ADHD assessment may be revisited in future. I am one of the hordes of middle aged women who suspect they have ADHD. Maybe feeling sluggish after coffee should be one of the criteria😆😆

titchy · 18/04/2024 21:44

Like me I assume that most people drink it because it helps them to get through the day or helps them to function or helps them be more alert.

I doubt it! I drink a couple of coffees a day because I enjoy the flavour. I think that's the same for the vast majority. Most people DONT feel they need artificial stimulants to get them through the day - that's definitely a you thing.

Original poster
TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 21:43

I might let DD try a cup of coffee then and just hope that she hates the taste and doesn't want another.

OP posts:
PrincessOfPreschool · 18/04/2024 21:41

My DD has the occasional coffee. She likes those instant sachets. She particularly likes it on holiday. She is not addicted. DH is like you when it comes to catastrophising anxiety regarding a cup of coffee - and it drives me a bit barmy.

I would say I'm pretty addicted to coffee (3 cups full caff, 2 decaf per day) but it's not that hard to stop. I've done it several times and I get a few headaches, then it's over. It's really not like giving up smoking or heroine!

Calamitousness · 18/04/2024 21:34

My 12 year old likes a coffee. He makes his own using nespresso pods and has a cappucino
usually. But it’s not that often. He went through a phase of needing it in a flask for late afternoon at school but that’s passed.

bryceQ · 18/04/2024 21:29

I mean I think she will be more shaped by your relationship with it.... Surely it's better to normalise it and not have in on a weird pedestal?

Mairzydotes · 18/04/2024 21:29

I think you have an unhealthy view of coffee.
My teen occasionally drank coffee that age , things are OK in moderation , Forbidden things become more desirable.

We had a coffee vending machine in the dinner hall, back when I was at school in the 90s .

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