To refuse to let DD drink coffee?

No it is not!

Oh, I'm so sorry to piss on your semantics parade.
But there is an important difference. And clearly some people here do not know the difference, so important that the difference is made,
Semantics are important

Gen X kid here’s…My mum’s favorite story to tell was at my first communion dinner (7 or 8 yo) our server didn’t blink when she ordered me a small glass of wine. But stopped dead in his tracks when I ordered a cup of coffee.

Gen X.. I started making coffee for my parents when I could reach the coffee maker around 5ish (my mum admitted my coffee was better than hers)… drinking it fairly regularly from about 7 on… by 12ish was a one cup in the morning kind of gal.

I’m still particular about it in the morning but 1 1/2 cups in the am on a typical day…one large cup of tea (16 oz) during the day… then a cup of tea or coffee at night before bed. All fairly average and in moderation.

No harm done… but clearly I would have been 12ft tall if I hadn’t started drinking coffee (that was the old wives tale when I was a kid… coffee would stunt your growth!)

I started drinking coffee at school in the sixth form, also in the 70s. I don't know if we even had it at home.

Agreed. It’s bonkers what some people think about perfectly ordinary things. Like coffee

I've been drinking it since I was about 9 or 10 (basically since I started making cuppas for my Mum & Dad) I think I used to have instant with a tonne of milk & 3 sugars 😂
on the real stuff now and have cut out the sugar😇

I really don’t see the issue with coffee. Clearly she shouldn’t be having 10 espressos a day, but I’d have thought it was perfectly normal for teens to have a cup or two a day.

My DC frequently went out for coffee with friends around that age. Their school canteen also offered (caffeinated) coffee as an option at breakfast and lunch. Are we really at a stage now where teens have to be mollycoddled to such an extent?

I've drunk coffee (I'm 65, nobody thought it was harmful for kids in my youth) since I was around 12 - instant in those days but I will only drink 'good', freshly brewed coffee now.

I enjoy ONE mug a day at morning coffee time. I like the taste but don't need more than one.

Tell her yes, but only something like an Americano where you actually get the flavour of the coffee- not something like a latte or a cappuccino. She’s less likely to develop taste for it.

Funnily enough - I was the kid who went off the rails because my parents were too lenient. Not enough structure or boundaries. Middle class hippy types, who ironically think money solves all the worlds problems. I won't do that to my kids. Hopefully, they can be educated enough to make decisions for themselves. And, I 100% expect that they will experiment with drink, drugs, and risky sex but hopefully, at a minimum. It's part of growing up; becoming a well balanced adult.

I have had nothing but positive feedback from teachers, coaches and other adults regarding my eldest behavior and choices so far.

Patents will all parent differently. I don't need to be piled on for giving my opinion, because it doesn't aline with your parenting experiences. Parenting with boundaries is hard work. I'd rather not be a lazy parent and give in to every demand my children make. Trust me, when I say mine are a spoilt in other ways

And very sensible it is too.

Glad you agree with me. It’s an opinion that’s been getting me into trouble since I gave my first toddler a few chocolate buttons way back in the mists of the early 2010s. Teach them the small pleasures and the big ones will look after themselves, is my approach.

I wish my DGS(18) would drink coffee, instead of those bloody energy drinks.

How much coffee do you drink to not be alert or function without it? And I wonder if you make such a fuss about your need for coffee that she feels the need to have it!

As others have said, it's coffee not cocaine.

This won’t happen overnight. I have had coffee everyday from about 8 years old (lax parents I was Gen x). I only really developed my caffeine addiction in my 30’s when I started on 3 cups a day and had a long commute. Plus a caffeine addiction is easy to beat, the headaches are a killer but it only takes a few days. I have done it before.

We had one in the sixth form lounge in the 70s.

This , she's 13 surely soon she'll be out with her friends shopping etc , Starbucks or similar and be able to choose what she likes ? It's not illegal! Banning it will probably make it more attractive to her not less

Don't tell her :/

You sound like the type of parent whose kids are going to go absolutely wild off the rails as teenagers if you run such a strict house their whole lives.

The kids who have problems with caffeine are those who are getting hold of energy drinks or are being facilitated to buy drinks from Costa which taste mild but have 2+ shots of espresso in them. I've had kids turn up to school regulaely with a Costa or a Monster energy drink in their hand, and kids sent with 2 cans of starbucks double espresso for their packed lunch ffs. It's SO not the ones who are being allowed a milky coffee at home every now and again at 13.

What a fuss in a coffee cup. There seems to be a lot of anxiety about caffeine, I was amazed when an American cousin said teens weren't supposed to be drinking coffee. Obviously too much caffeine isn't great but teens down loads energy drinks all the time. A latte made with lots of milk probably won't hurt if it's not in the evening.

I'm not here to argue semantics.

We all know what people mean when they say they have a caffeine addiction - yes, technically they may mean they're actually caffeine dependent instead, but to most people, it means pretty much the same thing.

Caffeine is addictive in the sense that, for the majority of people, it wakes you up and makes you feel good. If you go without it you can get withdrawal symptoms from headaches to body shakes, to nausea and vomiting.

I think you should get blood tests and look at your diet your caffeine addiction isn’t healthy - most like having a coffee but don’t need it and can certainly function without it
she could easily go to a coffee shop and buy one (my 15 loves Starbucks though the non caffeine drinks) and the recommendation appears to be over 12

No, it is not.
Caffeine use is classified as a dependence, not an addiction. For a drug to be considered addictive, it must activate the brain's reward circuit. Caffeine, like addictive drugs, enhances dopamine signaling in the brain (is eugeroic), but not enough to activate the brain's reward circuit like addictive substances cause severe psychological dependence such as cocaine, morphine, and nicotine.

Because if she quit drinking coffee she'd be increasing her risk of cancer, stroke, diabetes, Parkinson's, liver disease...

If you were addicted to green leafy vegetables would you make the effort to quit them?

I used to drink Turkish coffee when i was a child! i loved it
I have about 2 or 3 coffees in the morning now and a decaf before i go to bed