To be losing attraction to DP because of his career?

Reasonable’s got nothing to do with it. If you’re no longer feeling it, time for you to split up, for both your sakes.

He may not find your materialism that attractive either.

Yes, I think you should move on. he deserves somebody who values him for himself, not his earning power.

Not a problem if a woman earns more in a relationship. No guarantee if you dump this one you will find a better one.

You are going to get a pile on because your disagreement is seemingly about money and it is frowned upon. However it is actually about values and being on the same page re key issues like career and finances.

I would not be attracted to a coaster/stay at home dad if I had to be the one doing killer hours in the office and have other stresses of high flying career. (Im a high earner as well and poor from immigrant family so I understand where you are coming from)

HOWEVER, having two people who both have high flying careers AND are compatible in other ways is actually pretty rare (just because there are less high earners and high flyers so the pool is smaller). Having a nice family with two high earners who can afford to buy a flat in central London NOW (from zero, not family money) is almost impossible. You both have to be earning well above £150K EACH

so you are not unreasonable that you don’t like his defeatist/coasting attitudes. This is certainly unattractive

but you are a bit unreasonable to expect a partner who can earn that much so that you can afford central London flat Equally you are unreasonable if you expect to break up with this one and find a new partner who will be just as nice but simply a super high earner

i think you need to make peace that you will most likely outearn your partner but you need to draw the line for yourself by
how much

You don’t love him. You have different life goals and priorities. Time to move on .

She sounds like she's auditioning for The Apprentice 😆

The fact that he doesn't do anything at home will be putting me off more than his earnings.

I’m genuinely glad you found someone who didn’t cringe from ear to ear when you spoke about yourself like this. 😂 It’s great to see such self assurance though!

''Frankly, I am impressed that you are open to being self-aware with it.''

@Sweden99
Female gold diggers are very well aware of their desire for money.

There are lots of women who rely on men who give them a financial leg up, and they actually seek it.

They {usually} trade their youth and attractiveness for money.

The other way round, Wealthy women, and are less hung up with a man's looks, it's more his character that is important to them - But even so, some refuse to marry for fear of losing assets in a divorce.

It’s better to know what you want in life, he’s not for you so move on.

Also - if you plan to have kids and a career then the most important thing is to find an equal partner, so anyone who doesn’t do half the cleaning, laundry and cooking is a no. (Catch yourself on, why would you do a grown man’s laundry?)

Properly shocked there like.

Tbf I really enjoyed the post with the huge ego all over it. Made me really laugh

I would end the relationship, OP, and let the poor chap find someone less greedy, less materialistic & less shallow who loves him for who he is.

You sound like
an awful woman. The poor man seethes to find someone who actually loves him.

God you sound horrible

You should both go your separate ways.

Money drives some people, but not others.

Money doesn't necessarily bring contentment or happiness, just others sets of problems.

It's very shallow to be driven by money, but some people are.

Don't get married to this chap, { But I expect if a wealthier man comes along, you'll marry him like a shot for his money alone.}

Go you!

Totally this.

The lack of drive and ambition and the laziness is VERY unattractive

I don't think the OP says that he is lazy or lacking in ambition does she? She actually admits he has a decent job that pays well, just not enough to get her what she wants.

Not earning a shed-load doesn't mean you're lazy. Some people choose careers based on job satisfaction or a desire to do something socially useful. Their ambition might be to serve their community, to achieve a certain level of expertise in their chosen field, to develop others or to achieve a healthy work/life balance. People are allowed to have ambitions beyond the acquisition of material wealth.

Some of the most ambitious, determined and hard-working people I know are working in the public or charity sector, driving change and making a difference. You and OP might find their lack of material wealth "VERY unattractive", but they would probably find your lack of depth and superficiality unattractive so that's fair enough I suppose.

He should be doing his own laundry though, that's just taking the piss.

Well, I think it's totally reasonable to end a relationship for whatever reason you want.

But, if your love was dependent on his career, then it wasn't really love imo.

Agree with this. Sorry. But do stop doing everything for him - not so much a poor lad there.

Sparklfairy has nailed it.

Completely agree with this - it would put me off someone

The only issue is that I think more blokes than women are willing to date ‘down’ to a lower earner, leaving a smaller pool of these high earning blokes to choose from.

That said of course you shouldn’t be with someone you don’t fancy. Money aside, this should be the honeymoon period but it all sounds a bit lacklustre. You’re talking about working through problems and doing his housework in the manner a couple who don’t want to split up because of the kids. You’re not feeling it so move on.

Call it a day.

You thought you were on the same path early 20s. Turns out that you don’t have the same vision for your shared life some years on.

Tale as old as time I’m afraid.

As others have said, if you can't see a way forward then move on.

You may want to have a think... If you are going to find a highly paid, motivated, cooking, cleaning, lover when you put your dating CV out there ...