Rude or polite

I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

OP was right to assume he wanted her "interest", so she was right to bat him off. Doesn't matter whether her choice of words meets with his approval or not.

Really?

I was attacked in the street once. It was a man who helped me and made sure I got to hospital safely.

Oh, and my attacker? Another woman.

The man hate here is so, so tiresome.

Well, you’ve been rude repeatedly in this thread where you’ve actually asked people’s opinions so I’m gunna go out on a limb and guess your colleagues were right. And that you’re normally rude to people so no longer notice.

Why on earth not?

Yes. Yes they do! Random men approach women at bus stops, in supermarkets, on trains. Etc etc Because many of them believe we are only there to support them, entertain them, provide conversation and company. This happens to me all the time - and no I am not a stunning model. In fact I was recently walking in the park with a very elderly female relative and we were both approached by random men wanting attention.

I am really disappointed by the number of pps who think it’s rude to reject uninvited attention. Whatever happened to stranger danger?

These weirdos on here gassing up the OP and telling her to bark NO to every stranger she comes across are f loopy. How are you telling someone that this type of behaviour is totally ok? Is that the kind of stuff you do yourself??? And then you wonder why people would be offended? A polite no is not difficult and I'm sure 99% of people would absolutely back off straight away.

If someone harasses you then YES!! Tell them to fuck off! Call the police! Kick a stink! These assumptions from some of these posters that the guy is a creep or an attention starved abusive maniac are actually mind boggling. We don't know that!!!

But what we do know is the OP is rude!! Such a minor thing happened she ran to tell her work colleagues AND friends AND then Mumsnet and is then unable to comprehend how people would say it's rude!! The OP is rude and the rest of you are bat shit crazy!!!

But how did she know from "excuse me" that he wanted to get his leg over?

And do random men approach random women at bus stops in the middle of the day for this purpose?

What, we all start barking ‘no’ every time a stranger dares to speak to us? We always assume the worst of others, especially if they are a… shock horror… man?

No ta, I’d rather not live in that world.

Exactly.

It is indeed. I keep reading on MN that 'No is a complete sentence', then see countless posters here vehemently objecting to the Op's 'no'. Because boo hoo random man's feelings may have been hurt.

The fact he came back and said you could have said you weren't interested, shows that he wasn't going to just ask about buses or the time or other non-personal interactions.
So it sounds like you sensed his intentions accurately.

Anyone else finding that MN gets weirder each day ? Time for me to step off 'active threads' I think .

I think the people telling you you were rude are the ones who get themselves in a muddle trying to be kind to strange men.

Erm no.
I don't respond rudely to excuse me with a plain no. It isn't normal behaviour.

Even your posts are rude.
But you don’t want to hear it.
Do you just walk around assuming every man wants you? I’m embarrassed for you 😂

I think the people telling you you were rude are the ones who get themselves in a muddle trying to be kind to strange men.

I never get myself in a muddle trying to be kind to strange men. But I'm not rude to them either.

Like I said up thread.... there's a spectrum of more appropriate responses in between.

I'm astonished the op thinks in some context she was polite!

But then, rudeness seems to be a trait with her...

I don’t know that just from “excuse me”. The OP gave far more information than that, though she was very brief.

Very true.

It's the expectation of empathy that is very heavily weighted toward women.

I agree. I think what’s got them angry is OP was right. The man was trying to hit on her, and got rejected and what’s worse he’s one of those men who think women owe him their time.

Some people here should really learn from OP’s no nonsense approach.

OP, ignore the people telling you to be kind.

You knew the guy was trying to pick you up.

You said no.

He berated you for not explaining, when a simple no was clearly enough to get the message across. He just didn’t like you saying no.

I think the people telling you you were rude are the ones who get themselves in a muddle trying to be kind to strange men.

Wow. Rude.

Out of 400 posts anyone who disagrees with you is a man? And an angry one at that?

These sorts of ad hominems are hilarious. Op was rude. She acted in a way that is a faux pas and unnecessarily unfriendly. It is what it is. Nobody grew a penis because of it.

Just saying "no" to "excuse me" is not a normal response though in any situation.

How can you know what someone wants to say to you just from those two words?

^ 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣

Painful to read. A bit of context about whatever the fuck happened first would’ve been good.

Yeah but how does being rude protect you dangerous men?

Best case scenario, you've just been unpleasant to a perfectly nice bloke asking you t time.

Worst case scenario, you've enraged an aggressive man who's now going to punch you in the face