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AIBU?

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Original poster

Rude or polite

567 replies

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 12:08

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

OP posts:
ovals · 18/04/2024 13:38

If shutting down a conversation with a stranger you don’t want to talk to is rude, then so be it. Who cares what a random man wants to say to you?

Nonewclothes2024 · 18/04/2024 13:36

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

No one is being dense. Your OP is practically impossible to understand , it's so badly written, it doesn't make sense.

*could have not could of btw. HTH

Hereforthekicks · 18/04/2024 13:35

But you didn't know what he wanted when you initially said no. If what you have written is what happened, then you were rude. I mean you did ask the Internet.

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:35

bingobanjo · 18/04/2024 13:34

Ok, for the sake of argument we’ll pretend you’re female as you say. I would seek therapy for the degree to which you hate women. I love that the two genders in your every post are “female” and “poor bloke” 😂

OP’s ineloquent, rude, she’s got an obvious agenda, any woman who can tell a man is hitting on her is arrogant and ridiculous, special women don’t wait at bus stops (?), clearly not bright, and I’m batshit crazy.

Still waiting to hear a valid reason someone would say “excuse me?” and wait for a response before continuing that OP would have any interest in engaging with, and therefore warrant her saying anything other than no.

OP, this thread has taken a weird turn. I would continue not engaging with total strangers you don’t want to engage with, you’re not being rude.

Show quote history

Are you quite alright? You seem very angry for a Thursday lunchtime. I suggest a nice walk in the fresh air.

PenelopeTitsdrop1990 · 18/04/2024 13:35

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

Surely "everyone being dense" says more about your post than them 🙄 Your posts are very hard to make sense of.

Mothership4two · 18/04/2024 13:34

OP your posts are not clear. Reading between the lines, he was attracted to you so approached you (or that's what you think), but that might not be the case - that may not have been his intention and that might not actually be what you mean. I'm saying this clearly to get through to you. Posters aren't being dense.

Being snippy probably won't help the clarity of your posts.

bingobanjo · 18/04/2024 13:34

This reply has been deleted

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Ok, for the sake of argument we’ll pretend you’re female as you say. I would seek therapy for the degree to which you hate women. I love that the two genders in your every post are “female” and “poor bloke” 😂

OP’s ineloquent, rude, she’s got an obvious agenda, any woman who can tell a man is hitting on her is arrogant and ridiculous, special women don’t wait at bus stops (?), clearly not bright, and I’m batshit crazy.

Still waiting to hear a valid reason someone would say “excuse me?” and wait for a response before continuing that OP would have any interest in engaging with, and therefore warrant her saying anything other than no.

OP, this thread has taken a weird turn. I would continue not engaging with total strangers you don’t want to engage with, you’re not being rude.

BirtyDird · 18/04/2024 13:34

@Dullardmullard yes I read your full post and the full thread. Your colleagues think you were rude and so do the majority here, which probably tells you something.

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:34

Nobody's being dense except you, OP. Which is probably why you misread the situation in the first place.

Janetime · 18/04/2024 13:33

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

Are you quite ok?

Original poster
Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

OP posts:
sandrapinchedmysandwich · 18/04/2024 13:32

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:05

Did you not read the full thread he came back and said

you could of said you were not interested

no means just that

I think in this weather I’d know if my knickers where on show or tucked in.
I’d also know if I’d dropped money as I don’t have pockets and don’t carry cash

so I was to wait on his excuse me then mmm

Yes but you said no BEFORE you knew what he wanted. And it is this that makes you rude. Surely you understand this?

OneTC · 18/04/2024 13:31

5128gap · 18/04/2024 13:25

The guy said 'you could of (sic) said you weren't interested'. The majority of people familiar with these type of interactions take 'not interested' to mean 'not interested in me'. I mean, he could have meant 'not interested in hearing me telling you your skirts stuck in your knickers...' But its a long shot, especially given it wasn't, so I think its probably reasonable to assume he meant it in the more widely recognised sense.

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Or not interested in hearing his heart breaking story about why he needs exactly 27p to travel somewhere unrealistically far away.

Either way it's a fair reaction

Janetime · 18/04/2024 13:31

Bloody hell op. Who shit on your cornflakes this morning,

LostFuse · 18/04/2024 13:30

No.

Hereforthekicks · 18/04/2024 13:30

If you are asking strangers on the Internet to judge an exchange they weren't witness to, then yes. You were very rude.

muggart · 18/04/2024 13:30

Of course you were rude. how could you not think you were rude?

Its not illegal to be rude, mind you.

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I know. It's like a Vicky Pollard sketch, isn't it?

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 18/04/2024 13:29

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 12:15

It sounds like you assumed he was trying to hit on you. How arrogant of you. Do you think you're "all that"? You were waiting at a bus stop, you can't be that special.

Poor man!

This. So so arrogant. Can you imagine the reverse post.

"I was lost so approached a lady at the bus stop to ask for directions but she said no and didn't even let me speak. Aibu to think this was rude?"

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:28

5128gap · 18/04/2024 13:25

The guy said 'you could of (sic) said you weren't interested'. The majority of people familiar with these type of interactions take 'not interested' to mean 'not interested in me'. I mean, he could have meant 'not interested in hearing me telling you your skirts stuck in your knickers...' But its a long shot, especially given it wasn't, so I think its probably reasonable to assume he meant it in the more widely recognised sense.

Show quote history

Yes, you're right, generally, but since this is clearly a person who has a "and then he turned round and said" way of relating a story, I'm not going to assume that in this case.

BrieHugger · 18/04/2024 13:26

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:20

Why wouldn’t I

Show quote history

Because “a man said excuse me and I said no” isn’t all that conversation worthy?

5128gap · 18/04/2024 13:25

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:17

Not necessarily right at all. In the absence of knowing what he wanted, which none of us do, not least because the OP is spinning the story with an obvious agenda, there's no way to ascertain whether he fancied her or not.

Show quote history

The guy said 'you could of (sic) said you weren't interested'. The majority of people familiar with these type of interactions take 'not interested' to mean 'not interested in me'. I mean, he could have meant 'not interested in hearing me telling you your skirts stuck in your knickers...' But its a long shot, especially given it wasn't, so I think its probably reasonable to assume he meant it in the more widely recognised sense.

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 13:25

This reply has been deleted

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Tetchypants · 18/04/2024 13:25

This reply has been deleted

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inneedofaglowup · 18/04/2024 13:24

You told your friends and colleagues because it seems like you were boasting. You didn't even know what the guy wanted. You can't bring up what you've mentioned in conversation without sounding arrogant. And I mean it sounds mean that you were rude to the guy then went and told all your friends and colleagues about it. Now you're posting it on Mumsnet because seemingly someone has called you out on it.