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Original poster

Rude or polite

567 replies

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 12:08

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

OP posts:
diddl · 18/04/2024 15:00

I think if it was obvious he was going to chat up Op it was fine to say no straight away.

Why bother engaging at all?

November2024Mummy · 18/04/2024 15:00

grinandslothit · 18/04/2024 14:36

Oh gasp.
How dare a woman say no to a man.

Better to let him blather on and be a pest rather than hurting his little feelers.

Er no

So it's fine to be rude and bizarre if it's a person with a penis that you're talking to? I don't think so.

NeedToChangeName · 18/04/2024 14:59

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:52

So I was to wait for him to say what he wanted, something like the time as he wasn’t as he confirmed that two minutes later as folks here can’t read what I put in my first post.

as usual you’ve read the first two lines.

I’m of to lunch with one of my colleagues now

so I was rude by them and Mumsnet go figure

I won’t be forgetting my headphones again.

@Dullardmullard Well, yes, I would expect you to wait and see what he wanted eg

Excuse me?
Yes, hello
Can you spare a pound for a phone call>
No, sorry

Glazedchristmasham · 18/04/2024 14:58

I'm really hoping Op has trotted on her merry way with a trail of toilet paper hanging from her knickers 😂

5128gap · 18/04/2024 14:57

CatrionaCat · 18/04/2024 14:50

Strange man approaches you at bus stop. His body language sets your "avoid" radar pinging. And pp say you should have engaged with him. Whatever happened to the famous mumsnet "No is a complete sentence."

YANBU.

Indeed. This could actually have been a helpful discussion about dealing with unwanted attention that, as your infer, can be quite threatening to lone women. Until it got hijacked by the idiot boys.

Topsyturvy78 · 18/04/2024 14:56

You don't even know what he was going to say. For all you know he could have been letting you know you had dog shit smeared on your coat. So yes you were rude.

TeenLifeMum · 18/04/2024 14:56

It’s not polite is it? Whether you should have been polite is a different debate.

takemeawayagain · 18/04/2024 14:55

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

I think we can all be very sure that you are most definitely very rude.

CatrionaCat · 18/04/2024 14:54

Trulyme · 18/04/2024 14:50

How do you know he was going to be a pest?

I’ve had to speak to strangers and say ‘excuse me’ many times and none have been me being a pest.

Show quote history

OP says the way he approached and his body language. Her self-preservation instinct kicked in and she didn't want to engage with him.

Taxingtaxhelp · 18/04/2024 14:52

Judging by your responses on this thread. You were rude. You are rude. Full stop

Trulyme · 18/04/2024 14:50

grinandslothit · 18/04/2024 14:36

Oh gasp.
How dare a woman say no to a man.

Better to let him blather on and be a pest rather than hurting his little feelers.

How do you know he was going to be a pest?

I’ve had to speak to strangers and say ‘excuse me’ many times and none have been me being a pest.

CatrionaCat · 18/04/2024 14:50

Strange man approaches you at bus stop. His body language sets your "avoid" radar pinging. And pp say you should have engaged with him. Whatever happened to the famous mumsnet "No is a complete sentence."

YANBU.

5128gap · 18/04/2024 14:46

Fairysteps11 · 18/04/2024 14:31

What?! What are you going on about?!

Women can disagree with other women you know?! If a woman posts, women can say that they're being unreasonable! Women don't have to stand up for other women come hell or high water!

I think she was rude. I'm definitely not jealous of her, I don't think men should rule the world and women sit quietly to be seen and not heard 🤣

Absolutely nuts 😆

Show quote history

You don't need to tell me what women can and can't do, thank you. I am a woman.

FamBae · 18/04/2024 14:45

You assumed he was making a pass? he's retort seems to reiterate that, but you come across as rude, standoffish and vain and I don't understand how you expect people to understand your post when you can't string a sentence together. If he was making a pass, seems he had a lucky escape IMO.

Mothership4two · 18/04/2024 14:44

We all have the right not to engage with strangers (within reason) @Magnastorm, but if I approached someone in the street to ask them something and said "excuse me?" and they barked "no" and then blanked me, I would walk away thinking "rude tw*t!" or "ah maybe MH problems?".

Notchangingnameagain · 18/04/2024 14:42

So I was to wait for him to say what he wanted

Thats what most people do yes.

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 18/04/2024 14:42

grinandslothit · 18/04/2024 14:36

Oh gasp.
How dare a woman say no to a man.

Better to let him blather on and be a pest rather than hurting his little feelers.

Strange comment.

Mothership4two · 18/04/2024 14:40

grinandslothit · 18/04/2024 14:36

Oh gasp.
How dare a woman say no to a man.

Better to let him blather on and be a pest rather than hurting his little feelers.

He said "excuse me?" (according to OP)

My reaction would be no different if a woman had approached her or if their genders were switched. The interaction that the OP is describing sounds odd and she was rude.

Appleass · 18/04/2024 14:38

Pig Ignorant - he might have needed help

Magnastorm · 18/04/2024 14:36

It was a bit rude, but so what, really?

OP doesn't know this person, doesn't owe him anything. If she wants to just be left alone, then she has every right to not engage with random men on the street.

Change2banon · 18/04/2024 14:36

This whole thread is bizarre and confusing 🫤🫤 I need a lie down from trying to understand it all.🤪🤪

The man could have been wanting to ask the time, ask about the bus, wanting a light for a cigarette, directions, a whole host of possibilities 🤷🏻‍♀️

And yes OP, you were rude .. and continue to be rude on this thread.

grinandslothit · 18/04/2024 14:36

Oh gasp.
How dare a woman say no to a man.

Better to let him blather on and be a pest rather than hurting his little feelers.

queenofcruises · 18/04/2024 14:35

lol... just because i gave a explaination of why i felt the response was rude does not make me triggered!! this is ridiculous, this is how normal people have discussions.... im not jealous of the OP nor do i feel men OR women should rule the world independantly.... we are allowed to not agree with our fellow females?

YoureALizardHarry11 · 18/04/2024 14:33

You were bloody rude, he said excuse me? And you said ‘’no’’ straight away without even knowing what he wanted? He could have wanted to know the time. You’re a bit presumptuous to assume he wanted a date or something 🤣

Fairysteps11 · 18/04/2024 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What?! What are you going on about?!

Women can disagree with other women you know?! If a woman posts, women can say that they're being unreasonable! Women don't have to stand up for other women come hell or high water!

I think she was rude. I'm definitely not jealous of her, I don't think men should rule the world and women sit quietly to be seen and not heard 🤣

Absolutely nuts 😆

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