Page 16 | Rude or polite

Dullardmullard · 2024-04-18T11:08:41+00:00

I told him no context is a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested. no meant I wasn’t interested no meant no I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was. ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally. I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

Notreat · 18/04/2024 15:21

I would wait to hear what he wanted before saying no

SockFluffInTheBath · 18/04/2024 15:19

It’s probably rude, yes. However it’s a sign of the times that you need to be so defensive. He’ll survive, don’t give it headspace.

5128gap · 18/04/2024 15:19

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 18/04/2024 15:10

There are a lot of posters thinking OP was rude. They aren't all idiot boys.

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No indeed. Just those who are going above and beyond to insult her, calling a poster a TERF and claiming to be women whilst expressing themselves like over excited young men in their 20s, with more emojis than syllables.

AmethystSparkles · 18/04/2024 15:19

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:44

Hahaha is that what you’ve got my spelling

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To be fair, most of us were thinking the same.

You could also write ‘Could’ve’. Most people say ‘could’ve’ and because it sounds like ‘could of’, many people get confused.

Also, you keep telling people to read your post but you haven’t explained yourself clearly.

Regards,

Henry Higgins

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 18/04/2024 15:19

PartyWhatParty · 18/04/2024 15:16

Man here. You can say what you like to him. You knew what he wanted by the way he approached you. You said the right thing, I know because he then came back with the “could have said you weren’t interested” line. Well done you.

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Woman here. OP didn't know what he was going to say so she was rude.

NortieTortie · 18/04/2024 15:18

Very rude. He could've been innocently telling you you dropped your purse.

inneedofaglowup · 18/04/2024 15:17

@diddl well he did go back in this scenario. I have no idea why as I wasn't there. But OP is weird for even posting it on here. Is that the kind of thing to tell anyone?

sandyhappypeople · 18/04/2024 15:17

So you didn't know what he wanted, you just assumed he was going to ask you out or something? Lol.

Maybe he was wondering if the bus had already gone, or what the time was, or if you'd seen a dog/person/whatever come past, or many, many other things.

It IS rude to say no when someone politely says 'excuse me', but you've been really rude to people on this thread so it's obviously your MO.

diddl · 18/04/2024 15:16

inneedofaglowup · 18/04/2024 15:11

Let's turn this around. Imagine you as a woman went up to a man said "excuse me?" he turns around and instantly gives a NO. You turn around to walk away and think wow that was rude. So you go back to him to say "you could have just said you're not interested?" He turns around and shouts NO again. Be real your ego would be hurt and you'd think what a stuck up c*.

Tbh if someone I wanted to chat up just said "no!" to me that would be the end of it.

Why would I go back?

I'd be hurt that they didn't want to be chatted up by me-but it's no great shakes is it?

PartyWhatParty · 18/04/2024 15:16

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:52

So I was to wait for him to say what he wanted, something like the time as he wasn’t as he confirmed that two minutes later as folks here can’t read what I put in my first post.

as usual you’ve read the first two lines.

I’m of to lunch with one of my colleagues now

so I was rude by them and Mumsnet go figure

I won’t be forgetting my headphones again.

Man here. You can say what you like to him. You knew what he wanted by the way he approached you. You said the right thing, I know because he then came back with the “could have said you weren’t interested” line. Well done you.

Bloom15 · 18/04/2024 15:16

I mean I would have waited to see if he wanted the time or something. But you sound rude generally when replying to PPs so 🤷🏼‍♀️

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 18/04/2024 15:14

@Dullardmullard
If he was going to 'chat you up' then he's had a lucky escape.

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 18/04/2024 15:12

@Dullardmullard
Being told it's not 'could have', and that it's actually 'could have' is not spelling, it's grammar.

Summerbay23 · 18/04/2024 15:12

Yup, rude, but sound like you don’t like that answer.

inneedofaglowup · 18/04/2024 15:11

Let's turn this around. Imagine you as a woman went up to a man said "excuse me?" he turns around and instantly gives a NO. You turn around to walk away and think wow that was rude. So you go back to him to say "you could have just said you're not interested?" He turns around and shouts NO again. Be real your ego would be hurt and you'd think what a stuck up c*.

Mydietstartstomorrow · 18/04/2024 15:10

OP why did you bother posting AIBU?!

OP: was I rude?
MN: yes you were rude
OP: no I fckn wasn’t, read my post

🙄

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 18/04/2024 15:10

Dullardmullard · 18/04/2024 13:32

Your all being dense on purpose

I did tell you in my first post he came back
he was offended I wasn’t interested.
colleagues are still saying I was rude but I’ve told men I’m not interested and they’ve become abusive so it’s no

We are not being dense on purpose.
Your first post wasn't very clear.
What was he wanting to say to you?
Was he trying to chat you up?
You still haven't clearly explained and instead called other PP dense.
My conclusion is that you are RUDE.

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 18/04/2024 15:10

5128gap · 18/04/2024 14:57

Indeed. This could actually have been a helpful discussion about dealing with unwanted attention that, as your infer, can be quite threatening to lone women. Until it got hijacked by the idiot boys.

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There are a lot of posters thinking OP was rude. They aren't all idiot boys.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 18/04/2024 15:09

Very rude.

Seems to be your MO as you've continued to be very rude to people on the thread

Perhaps you need to rethink your communication style all round.

KeepSmiling89 · 18/04/2024 15:08

@Hiddenvoice - totally agree.
Yes, your instincts were nice, but are you just automatically going to say 'no' every time a man approaches you? That is very rude.

Also, having your headphones on can put you in a vulnerable position as you won't be aware of your surroundings and might be more susceptible to an attack of some sort...just sayin'

Deathraystare · 18/04/2024 15:08

I normally wait for their spiel (normally wanting money) then I go "no money, no religion, no thanks". Too old to get chatted up so I know it won't be that! I just hope it isn't asking directions, as I am shit at that!

Hiddenvoice · 18/04/2024 15:04

If he was pestering you then fair enough but if you instantly said no before he’d even asked anything then yes you were rude as you had no idea what he was going to ask. You just presumed and yes you were right but he could have been asking for help etc.
He then returned to more or less tell you that you were rude.

Fair enough you don’t think you were but if everyone else is saying you’re rude then maybe think about it a little more?

oui · 18/04/2024 15:02

You were rude to him but it's not a big deal. You've been ruder on here tbh.

FinallyPregnant23 · 18/04/2024 15:01

I don’t think you were rude OP. Women dont owe men “nice”. The fact that he came back at you goes to show your instincts were 100% right. Trust your gut and judgement, can’t believe there are so many women on here telling you should hve been more polite to a random man wanting to hit on you at a bus stop, in this day and age, with everything we know now and still have to deal with.

HateMyselfToo · 18/04/2024 15:00

Rude then, rude now, but guessing you don't care what people on here think, which makes me wonder why you posted at all.