Rude or polite

My husband saw a man drop a brown envelope, husband picked it up and went after the man and said, "excuse me you" Man cut him off and said he wasn't interested. DH opened the envelope, it was a big A4 size brown envelope, and it was stuffed full of £10 and £20 pound notes. He stood there for a minute not sure what to do and the man came running back, snatched the envelope and said, "that's mine." and walked off.

People have no manners.

Holy shit @Dullardmullard what the hell am I reading? You weren’t just rude to this man, you sound rude in general.

I have read all your replies, including the first post and it’s clear you completely shut him down without knowing his intentions. You didn’t give the man a chance to let you know why he said excuse me. That most definitely is rude, the rudeness of your replies to others is a whole other issue! You can’t be a very happy person if that’s how you treat others. Well you reap what you sow.

oh dear, the #benice has long been forgotten! coming at this OP from all sides.

My friend and I were approached by a young woman on Saturday afternoon outside a supermarket, she said "excuse me" and proceeded to ask if we were Christians. Now, I am but that's my personal business. We heard her out and then I said - "thanks but we haven't seen each other for a long time and we just want to catch up - have a nice day" she persisted but I reiterated "thanks but we are catching up and I don't really want to share my religious beliefs today, have a nice day" she did ask a couple more questions but we both repeated that we are not prepared to talk to her today "have a nice day". she said thanks and went on her way. No rudeness but it doesn't mean I wasn't irritated by her. Had I been on my own and it was a man and I felt trapped being at a bus stop, if I had previously been approached and it ended badly, if it was dark, if I felt vulnerable for any reason, I might have responded differently, context is everything. Lack of context here incites negative feedback. Also, asking a question and not liking the answer is also going to attract negative feedback OP.

OP have you been drinking? your first post doesn't make any sense - did it not post in full?

From what I can make you, some man walked towards you - you shut him down before you had any idea of what he wanted?

Yes that is rude, he may have a question about the bus, time, know you from somewhere etc. By all means say no etc if you want to a question.

You sound very aggressive and angry - or you may be defensive due to previous experience ? Either way your first post may need editing as it seems to be missing some context.

This is very confusing. If someone says "excuse me" I don't assume they're hitting on me. It does sound though like there was some body language that made it clear he wasn't going to ask you if you know when the next bus comes along?

Having said that, you've been very rude on this thread, so perhaps you do have a tendency to jump to rude responses.

This is so peak MN!😂

well op asked rude or polite-so im going wit rude

never happened to me so cant say wat id do

Over the years I have had people (mainly men) approach me & time and again I have given them the benefit of the doubt (maybe they are just asking the time etc) and it has turned out that they just want to hassle me or sell me something.

When it does I am frequently rude to them. Someone walked over and approached me when I was walking down the street, said something I didn't hear & I barked 'Not interested' and kept walking. He shouted after me 'Are all the women in (town name) as rude as you?'

So: my instinct was right. It is not normal, in a street full of people, for someone to go out of their way to approach a lone woman who is walking and obviously going about her business. Or to approach a lone woman at a bus stop.

I don't blame OP at all for being rude. The 'be polite' brigade on here should consider that concern about politeness can put a woman in danger. I'll be polite when I want to be polite; politeness is for safe places.

Well, I think we can all trust OP's readings of his intentions, given that they turned out to be right. He was a stranger who was obviously sexually interested in her and she was a woman on her own who wasn't interested.

I don't know why so many people are saying "what if he was just going to ask her the time" when she had already clocked that he wasn't going to and events proved her to be correct. I think she was entirely within her rights to make her lack of interest clear.

Noone should feel the need to be polite to someone trying to pick them up/hassle them for money (etc) but the OP really didn't make it clear that she knew for certain that was going on and I'm still not sure that she was convinced that he was not going to ask about the stop for the number 11 bus (eg).

Given her posts on this thread, I don't actually think clear communication and civility to strangers are her strong points.

You should have set off a rape alarm as soon as he came within 2m of you. You can’t be too careful - who knows what he wanted to do to you?

I think the way you have responded here shows that you are naturally rude...so you would have always been rude to him.

I assume he was making a pass, asking you out, hitting on you? It takes some men a lot of effort to try that. You could have at least politely said you weren't interested...if he came back for a second go then be rude.

Well from your rude responses to people on here then, yes, your colleagues are right you are rude.

Don’t even have to read the first post to tell that you’re rude, as you have been on the following ones too.

👋 to you… and your poor grammar.

Well I think I would have waited to hear what he was going to say first so making an assumption then just saying No seems a bit rude and abrupt.

Which is rude.

If everyone was like that it would be a weird.

Well, whatever he wanted, possibly best he learned early on that he was best to give you a bodyswerve.

I think OP accidentally posted in AIBU when she meant to post in ‘I am definitely not being unreasonable.’ Easy mistake to make.

Alhough she was undoubtedly rude, and has also been very rude to other posters on this thread, I also think there’s a good chance that the guy in question was attempting a pick-up chat rather than e.g. asking the time. Realistically we can often just pick up the vibes and it’s obvious. So I wouldn’t weep for him.

Why is everyone saying she didn't know what he wanted? He told her what he wanted. He said "excuse me"- he asked her to excuse him, she did not wish to excuse him, so she said no.
Bascially he asked her for her attention for a moment, and she declined to give it. She didn't wish to find out what the next thing he wanted to ask was.

@Dullardmullard am I understanding you correctly that you assumed his 'excuse me' was some sort of come on? I could understand if you got that vibe why you'd be wanting to shut him down.

I'd probably have let him at least finish his sentence though.

Definitely rude...but that appears to be your default setting.

Sorry, OP, your posts are almost incomprehensible.

You were rude, yes - you've been rude on this thread too.

Doesn't really matter - it was a bit of a twat for coming back to tell you so you're even. Sounds like a lot of drama over nothing.

Yes I read your whole post but the point it you were rude. He COULD have been about to ask if the X bus had come already. You guessed he was going to hit on you, and you may have been right. This time. But maybe not the next guy (or woman) who says 'excuse me'.
Somebody said this to my husband once and all he wanted to say was that she'd left her phone on the table next to where he was sitting.

Most people would.

If he had started to be a slimeball then you can say no and ignore him. To just say no after excuse me is being very odd.