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Original poster

What is he doing in the toilet all this time?

86 replies

heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:43

Dh gets up and goes straight to the toilet, he's in there about half an hour, comes home from work and the first thing he does is go to toilet for about half an hour, sometimes he will have additional toilet breaks all lasting around the same time.
I have asked him what takes so long and he just replies he's having a poo.
Is this usual behaviour? he does it when we are at my parents house or his, his mum once said he's always taken forever in the toilet.
We've been married over 10 years and there's no other strange behaviour but I do wonder why he feels the need to sit on the toilet so long.

OP posts:
burnttoad · 18/04/2024 13:47

3526y · 18/04/2024 11:51

My dh takes forever. Definitely not porn though! Not sure why someone will assume that straight away!

He does get distracted with his SM, he enjoys the quite + he just needs longer, physiologically.

How would you know if he was looking at porn? The adamancy of your assertion is amusing

Lollybaz · 18/04/2024 13:46

As someone said before, it's quite common for men to look at porn in the loo, that way they don't get interrupted & have privacy. See if he takes his phone in there or a book! My EX (yes I dumped him!) used to say he was playing candy crush in there! I found out he wasn't! Hence he's now my ex!

burnttoad · 18/04/2024 13:45

whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 11:46

It's normal for most men according to what others say. Ages ago I did read a science article that said that men take ages in the toilet because it increases their testosterone levels which may have become depleted through stress or whatever.

How is sitting on their arse playing on their phone increasing testosterone levels?

DonnaBanana · 18/04/2024 13:43

CantDealwithChristmas · 18/04/2024 12:02

So wait. Pooing increases testosterone levels? Or trying to poo? Or sitting and waiting for the poo?

Show quote history

This is the reason we shouldn't spend long in the toilet as it can affect fertility with too much testosterone. Opposite for men

SummerThenSnow · 18/04/2024 13:41

It’s not just men! I can spend a while doing a poo admittedly, I don’t go on my phone or anything. But I do have IBS so that might factor into it

CantDealwithChristmas · 18/04/2024 13:39

whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 12:55

Just having undisturbed alone time I think. They definitely do it to avoid doing chores though 😂

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If I'm honest? I do that sometimes too. Last year I made good use of 'poo time' to race through to the end of the latest Robert Galbraith book, away from the endless needs and requests of my family 😂

WrylyAmused · 18/04/2024 13:32

There's a bunch of research on this, maybe because (female) scientists got bored of it too....

As a pp said, average time taken was found to be less than 1 minute, for both men and women. So whatever they're doing in there, it has very little to do with their need for defecation.

Time4achangeithink · 18/04/2024 13:31

Op is this a new thing ? Is there a health issue maybe ?? Probably not.. I'm sure it's all good but worth a little thought if bowl habits have changed .

whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 12:55

CantDealwithChristmas · 18/04/2024 12:02

So wait. Pooing increases testosterone levels? Or trying to poo? Or sitting and waiting for the poo?

Show quote history

Just having undisturbed alone time I think. They definitely do it to avoid doing chores though 😂

PeaceOnThePorch · 18/04/2024 12:10

I’m often the first to point out crap men, but in this case, maybe some of them are trying to get away from partners who seem quite controlling if they’re monitoring toilet breaks and turning off the WiFi. Wtf?

If they’re not stepping up as partners and fathers then tell them or leave them. Other than that, monitoring someone’s toileting and turning off the WiFi is controlling.

Wishimaywishimight · 18/04/2024 12:08

I once read advice from a doctor saying a poo should take no more than 1 minute, that you should wait until you're ready to go rather than straining/forcing.

I tend to do this ever since 😄

ButterflyKu · 18/04/2024 12:03

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Who relies on wifi? I’m sure a grown adult will have data😂

CantDealwithChristmas · 18/04/2024 12:02

whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 11:46

It's normal for most men according to what others say. Ages ago I did read a science article that said that men take ages in the toilet because it increases their testosterone levels which may have become depleted through stress or whatever.

So wait. Pooing increases testosterone levels? Or trying to poo? Or sitting and waiting for the poo?

PurpleLamb · 18/04/2024 12:01

I could write the exact same post as you OP. I was getting sick of juggling kids while he sat on his lazy arse so kept turning the WiFi off. He now takes 5-10 mins.

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 12:00

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 11:59

I have IBS.

(Possibly TMI)

If I know there is a poo coming I will sometimes go to the loo and stay there until it damn well comes out as if I don't I'll have to run to the loo at high speed!

Oh, and I'm female and live alone so not chore dodging!

TuesdayWhistler · 18/04/2024 12:00

Every bloke I've ever known has had 20-30 minutes poos

Back in the days of Old Spice, they'd read the paper.
Then in the days of Lynx Africa, they'd read Rave magazines.
Now in the days of Sauvage, it's smart phones with YouTube, games, checking forums etc.

People will say "they're watching porn..." it's possible I guess. Who am I to say if a bloke can pull his todger and have a crafty Barclays?

Last bloke would disappear for 30 minutes to the loo, i once snuck up and stood near the door.. I heard him giggling and lauging like a child for like 10 minutes.. when he came back down stairs I asked him what he was so funny, he'd been sat reading a sub Reddit called 'HeyCarl'

Mumaway · 18/04/2024 11:59

My DH has always done this. I don't think it's anything to do with a poo, I believe he's just chore-dodging. Maybe I should do the same.....

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 11:59

I have IBS.

(Possibly TMI)

If I know there is a poo coming I will sometimes go to the loo and stay there until it damn well comes out as if I don't I'll have to run to the loo at high speed!

Purplevioletsherbert · 18/04/2024 11:59

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Most adults have data on their phones…

VesperLind · 18/04/2024 11:57

As I understand it, it’s to do with women having more powerful and effective expulsive muscles, for obvious reasons. So generally speaking, we just go in, poo and done. Men have to work at it Grin

Original poster
heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:57

The most annoying part is that there's 5 of us and one toilet, it's separate from the bathroom but it's still the only toilet in the house so quite often there's a queue.

OP posts:
Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Fancybed · 18/04/2024 11:55

Oh, are they going in because they've decided it's time they had a poo, rather than because they need it? I sometimes leave it almost too late and am in and out very quickly!

Original poster
heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:55

So it seems that there's nothing particularly strange about this at all then, that's good to know.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 18/04/2024 11:54

Mine takes a while but not half an hour, he's definitely not watching porn because he doesn't take his phone into the bathroom with him (thank god!). Some people just need longer to conduct their business.

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