What is he doing in the toilet all this time?

I have IBS, a rectal prolapse and lax rectal mucosa
I sometimes take my phone to the toilet with me but still average less than 10 minutes
DP spends ages in the bathroom (won’t use downstairs cloakroom) as he insists on having a post poo shower!

Sorry @Causewerethespecialtwo i didnt mean to quote you, no idea how that happened!
And no, I’m not in the loo currently 🤣

Oh help once again I feel I don’t fit the normal MN criteria! I am female and can spend ages on the loo , not, you understand, actually pooing but reading my phone/ a book / avoiding the kids/ and husband. Undisturbed peace!

Get a squatty potty, it should help.

Initially I found this thread quite funny the thought of wives turning off the WiFi if their dh had been too long in the bathroom, but now I think it's quite sad that people choose to hide away in the toilets for a bit of peace and quiet.

It's massively selfish behaviour, whatever the reason

I'm sure for lots of people it's slow bowels, IBS etc but for my DH it's chore dodging and an excuse for YouTube.
I also take a while but I have a rectal prolapse so emptying my bowel can be tricky and take a while.

My dad always used to take a newspaper in with him. I'm pretty sure it was just for a bit of peace and quiet!

They are taking a break. Sitting on the toilet and scrolling. Simple solution to this extremely selfish behaviour is to start doing it yourself.

Yes my husband is the same it's annoying.

Not to scare you but my ex spent so much time in the bath/on the toilet because it was the only place he knew I couldn’t walk in on and ‘catch’ him cheating on me. He would literally be in there for a long, long time and I did question it at the time but later it did confirm that he was cheating on me (I saw the nudes, messages, dating sites - it all).

on the other side of it, I have male family members that spend a long time sitting on the toilet just playing games and getting sidetracked. We’ve all been there.

Duolingo. I can hear it.

Yes, they may be 'avoiding family life', but who doesn't at times, and why is that wrong?

That's very true. My bestie (a single parent) often used to go and sit on the loo for half an hour when her kids were young-but-old-enough-to-be-left-alone because it was the only place in the house she could get any peace and quiet.

My ex used to say that he'd go in for the initial poo, but once that was out he always felt like there was more that wasn't quite there yet to come, so he'd sit there until it did about 10 minutes later, and then there'd be a couple more rounds of doing the same thing.

DH always takes ages pooing, but so do I, partially because it takes a while but mainly because I sit and read on the loo.
I was told ages back that excreting releases endorphins (pleasure hormones) so that's perhaps another reason to take time over it 😁

I'd always assumed DH was looking at porn or browsing the Internet as he takes ages, but then my son was born. He's 11 now and takes bloody ages as well, with no phone or book or anything to keep him occupied. He's been the same since he was potty trained.

Between the two of them I reckon our bathroom is occupied for over an hour a day.

It does make me laugh when DH complains about DS taking so long though. Er.. pot, meet kettle?

He's probably reading Mumsnet threads.

Are you having regular sex? If not might be prn

It's his version of a nice bath I guess. I remember living in a house share and the loo was pretty much the only place you could go for a few minutes peace!

I'm assuming masturbation to be honest, maybe not OP what you wish to read.

It's the number of times they have to go that gets me! I go once a day. Yet just about every man I've ever lived with has had to do at least three poos a day, each one lengthy (I know that's what they've been doing (at least in part) because of the smell). In my brother's case it used to be to avoid having to help with the washing up, but in the case of the husbands it was anyone's guess.

Three poos a day?! Each?! Maybe it's me that's not normal with my one...

My dh does it too and I’ve never understood, I wouldn’t mind except we only have one bathroom/toilet for 4 of us!

I grew up with an outside lav - I promise you nobody lingered.

If you train yourself enough biofeedback etc you can essentially "feel" that there's something there more easily and that you might be able to go. It becomes less habit and more that you are always aware of your bowel fullness like the fuel indicator in a car and can let it build up to full and then do your business

That sounds quite healthy, will look into that!

Cats too! Stimulates the vagus nerve apparently, makes them feel euphoric. Gives cats the post poo zoomies

I'm sure there is a lot more wiping for men due to hair? I'm so glad I am single I don't have to deal with post man poop smell any more! Used to permeate around the house like a death stench🤮🤮