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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this ok or would you be annoyed?

61 replies

Janiebirdy · 18/04/2024 10:23

Our house and garden faces a park and we get a few dogs running across the gardens at times. I was working in the garden last week when a dog started running up to me and across our garden; the owner didn’t call their dog back and they didn’t say anything to me. I ignored them and carried on with gardening. Would you be annoyed or figure it’s not a problem? FTR I’ve had dogs in the past so I’m not anti.

OP posts:
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Bordesleyhills · 25/04/2024 07:24

A sign like welcome to my garden

Tiredmama53 · 23/04/2024 23:04

Noyesnoyes · 19/04/2024 14:17

Not in a park they shouldn't!

I'd assume if you have a phobia of dogs, you wouldn't buy the house?

If the owner doesn't keep them from other people and other dogs or they don't have recall yes they should. Public parks aren't specifically for dogs to enjoy they're for the public to enjoy and that includes people who are allergic, afraid, have dogs who aren't sociable or just dont like them. If you can't control your dog then rent a private area to exercise them off lead.

Tiredmama53 · 23/04/2024 22:59

BIossomtoes · 18/04/2024 13:01

I don’t think it’s so much the assumption as the fact that round our way most people are OK and encourage them. It’s pretty pointless calling your dog back when she’s being stroked, petted and told what a beautiful girl she is!

You should still be making sure your dog does run up to strangers. I'm quite seriously allergic to dogs, it can make my throat close up and I should be safe in public spaces from dogs actively coming up to me. I seriously doubt there are any areas where there are absolutley no people who are allergic, afraid, or just dont like dogs. Its such an entitled assumption that it's OK for people to let their dogs do this, I wouldn't let my child run up to total strangers and harrass them why is it OK to let your dog do it?

ColdWaterDipper · 23/04/2024 10:59

I’ll start by saying that my very well trained dog is on a lead all the time in public as I don’t trust other owners to have trained their dogs properly. However, looking at the example photo you put up, I really can’t tell where the park starts and the garden ends or vice versa. So I expect the owner just assumed it was all parkland. Of course they were unreasonable to allow their dog to run up to you, but personally I would have stood up and asked them to recall it and if it bothers you that dogs come into your garden area then you could have just politely explained that the area you were working in is actually your private garden.

Heidi75 · 22/04/2024 16:17

Janiebirdy · 18/04/2024 12:52

We’ve been here a long time and it’s nice to be around the park. We don’t have any wish to be control freaks or start guarding our garden but it has surprised me in recent years how some dog owners assume everyone’s ok with dogs.

There is definitely a shift now that a lot of dog owners cannot see that everyone doesn't love their pet as much as they do. There is a sense of entitlement that the dog has to come everywhere with them and is treated like a child rather than a pet.

QuizNight · 21/04/2024 18:35

BrummieCahoots · 19/04/2024 13:40

It would annoy me . People should have their dogs on a lead. You don't let your kids run in other people's gardens. There are too many dogs now, can't move for them where I live , All going out for dog coffees in their jumpers and going to the pub . It can't be good for them? My grandad would be spinning in his grave , dogs are working animals who need to be active ( so I think .. I'm a cat person)

I foster working dogs, Guide Dogs, whilst they are training. You wouldn’t know they are working dogs when on a free run though as they’re not working at that point and just look like any other dog.

QuizNight · 21/04/2024 18:32

Janiebirdy · 18/04/2024 12:38

The dog came up to me and ran around the garden for a bit. The owner wasn’t too fussed about recalling the dog. I find it odd that people do this with dogs because I could be terrified of them or allergic etc.

You clearly weren’t though. The owner will have been reading your body language and you said yourself that you weren’t bothered so the owner responded accordingly. Put up some low picket style fences (can even be the tiny 1ft ones just to mark out the property), plant some hedges, put up a proper fence or signal to the owner if it does in fact bother you.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/04/2024 10:55

Provided owners cleared up any mess I’m not sure it would bother me that much but a) most won’t; b) seem to be happy for their dogs to go charging through your flowers and c) seem to have little control so if there was a problem (child, territorial dog at home, reversing car) it would all be someone else’s fault. So on principle I would have a problem with it unless the dog and owner were known to me and my family.

randomchap · 20/04/2024 13:45

missmollygreen · 19/04/2024 14:05

I have been training my dog for months now, He still is not reading signs to a satisfactory standard!

Have you checked his eyesight? Maybe he can't make out the letters?

JewelledPony · 19/04/2024 17:50

It’s not always as easy as ‘get a fence.’ In my last place, there was some legal caveat that we weren’t allowed.

Janiebirdy · 19/04/2024 17:48

@Noyesnoyes

Fortunately, I don’t have a phobia of dogs. I’ve had dogs in the past so I don’t have a problem with them.

OP posts:
EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 19/04/2024 14:43

Noyesnoyes · 19/04/2024 14:17

Not in a park they shouldn't!

I'd assume if you have a phobia of dogs, you wouldn't buy the house?

Are all parks off leash areas? Even if its off-leash any dog not on a lead should have good enough recall and supervision from owner to be leaving strangers alone. I wouldn't buy near an off leash area if I had a phobia, but that's really besides the point if people are responsible owners it wouldn't be an issue.

CustardySergeant · 19/04/2024 14:38

GoFaster83 · 18/04/2024 10:25

I'm no help. I'd use it as an excuse to stop working and have a quick cuddle! Any excuse for a break!

Me too. It would be a bonus for me.

justanotherrandomperson · 19/04/2024 14:35

I'd be embarrassed if my dog ran into a stranger's garden without being called/invited but agree it's possible they didn't immediately realise that it was private property and probably thought you didn't seem bothered.

While a low wall or fence in your situation apparently won't provide an effective barrier, I wonder if it might at least send the message that this is your garden. It won't stop the occasional dog from wandering in, but it could encourage the more conscientious dog owners to respect your boundaries and call the dog back more quickly.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 19/04/2024 14:29

Misthios · 18/04/2024 10:43

This sort of response does my head in.

The answer is not "get a fence". The answer is for fuckwit owners to control their fuckwit animals.

Mine too. Along with all the dog owners who call out that their dogs friendly while my kid is hiding behind me or screaming because he's been jumped up on by the dogs of entitled owners too many times and is now scared ot dogs. I dont GAF if your dog is 'friendly' keep him away from my child. Not all dog owners of course, but way too many of them are like this. No one should be letting their dog just run up to strangers, that's not responsible ownership and it doesn't teach kids to have the necessary caution of asking the owner before touching a strange dog.

eta: I love dogs, it's the entitled owners I can't stand.

Noyesnoyes · 19/04/2024 14:17

MrsSlocombesCat · 18/04/2024 12:20

This would terrify me as I have a phobia of dogs. They should be on a lead at all times when there are people around.

Not in a park they shouldn't!

I'd assume if you have a phobia of dogs, you wouldn't buy the house?

Noyesnoyes · 19/04/2024 14:15

@Misthios you're not a dog lover are you 😆

I also agree that OP should get fuckwit fence!

GR8GAL · 19/04/2024 14:11

Plant lots of fennel. The aniseed smell is annoying to dogs and their sensitive noses.

missmollygreen · 19/04/2024 14:05

randomchap · 18/04/2024 11:17

The owner was obviously in the wrong

As a fence would be pointless would some signs help differentiate between garden and park?

I have been training my dog for months now, He still is not reading signs to a satisfactory standard!

BrummieCahoots · 19/04/2024 13:40

It would annoy me . People should have their dogs on a lead. You don't let your kids run in other people's gardens. There are too many dogs now, can't move for them where I live , All going out for dog coffees in their jumpers and going to the pub . It can't be good for them? My grandad would be spinning in his grave , dogs are working animals who need to be active ( so I think .. I'm a cat person)

KreedKafer · 18/04/2024 17:28

Janiebirdy · 18/04/2024 10:55

It’s a strange set up here, it’s all open. The park and the gardens are separated by a pavement. A fence isn’t practical because the free wheeling dogs would get in via other people’s gardens - every other house would have to fence off their garden too to seal off all access points.

If it's completely open like that with just a path between the park and the gardens, it's possible the dog's owner just didn't really register that your garden is completely private property. They should have been paying more attention and they should have called their dog away, but it is a really unusual set-up for a private garden so I suppose there might some people who just don't really get it.

CorylusAgain · 18/04/2024 15:00

The dog came up to me and ran around the garden for a bit. The owner wasn’t too fussed about recalling the dog. I find it odd that people do this with dogs because I could be terrified of them or allergic etc

From your OP you said I ignored them and carried on with gardening

The dog owner will take that as you weren't bothered. They will think you gave tacit permission. You needed to register your surprise and displeasure at their dog in your garden. Doesn't have to be aggressive or rude but if you don't communicate your feelings the dog owner will continue.
I agree you shouldn't have to but clearly it's necessary.

Trulyme · 18/04/2024 14:02

YANBU but growing up on our estate we had a communal green area out the front and all front gardens weren’t fenced.

It was an unwritten rule that children and pets could play on any of the gardens and communal green.

I would be annoyed that she didn’t call the dog back but I do think you need a fence if you don’t want it to happen again, even just a small picket fence may help.

Janiebirdy · 18/04/2024 13:39

BIossomtoes · 18/04/2024 13:01

I don’t think it’s so much the assumption as the fact that round our way most people are OK and encourage them. It’s pretty pointless calling your dog back when she’s being stroked, petted and told what a beautiful girl she is!

Ok thanks for your message

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 18/04/2024 13:01

I don’t think it’s so much the assumption as the fact that round our way most people are OK and encourage them. It’s pretty pointless calling your dog back when she’s being stroked, petted and told what a beautiful girl she is!